


How Bad Could it Be?

by multibean



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Childbirth, Dom/sub Undertones, Domestic Phan, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Orgasm Denial, Pregnancy, a tiny bit of angst but mostly fluff and smut, it's kinda cute though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-09-21 00:40:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 51,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9523676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multibean/pseuds/multibean
Summary: “Please. Just one more time. I swear it will work, Phil.”Phil glanced at Dan hesitantly. “You saw what happened last time. I couldn’t walk for a week.”“Just once more,” Dan begged. “I’ll do everything right this time.”Dan could tell that Phil was nervous, and he knew exactly what to do.* * *Discontinued because no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to write this work with the same quality that I used to.





	1. The Pregnancy

“Please. Just one more time. I swear it will work, Phil.”  
Phil glanced at Dan hesitantly. “You saw what happened last time. I couldn’t walk for a week.”  
“Just once more,” Dan begged. “I’ll do everything right this time.”  
Dan could tell that Phil was nervous, and he knew exactly what to do.  
“Come on,” the younger one whispered, stroking Phil’s soft mess of a hair. “Give them what they want.”  
Phil cast his mind back to his recent video as Dan’s smooth hands caressed his waist and massaged the lower section of his back. Something about fortune telling, but his mind became hazier as his lover slowly rubbed the tips of his warm fingers against his entrance.  
“You remember now, don’t you?” Dan said seductively. Phil nodded, realising that there was no way he could possibly mislead his audience like that. _Fertility, domestic happiness, and a big change in his life_ … the fortune tellings all had to add up to something.  
“I promise to be gentle this time,” Dan told him, before planting kisses on his neck. “No more injuries. You know I didn’t do that on purpose.”  
“I could hardly walk, Dan.”  
“That won’t happen again.”  
Dan could be so rough, but Phil knew that, on the inside, he was a gentle little soul that just wanted to love, and be loved in return.  
Phil braced himself as Dan gripped his waist and slowly penetrated him. He could tell that he wanted to go faster, but that wasn’t an option if they actually wanted it to work out this time.  
“Are you okay?” Dan asked. He was a bag of nerves.  
“Just fine,” said Phil. “You’re doing fine. Keep going.”  
He penetrated some more, feeling the friction of Phil’s tight rectum against his throbbing, rock-solid member.  
“It feels huge. I don’t know if I can do this, Dan.”  
“Shhh,” Dan hushed, reaching over and pressing his comfortingly warm hand against Phil’s damp forehead. “You’ll love this. Trust me.”  
Phil nodded, regaining his focus. Considering the roles had been reversed and Dan now topped, this was taking up quite a bit of his energy. His eager partner slowly began to thrust in and out of him and he squealed. Dan was being as gentle as he could.  
“How long do I have to wait before I take the test?” Phil mumbled.  
“It won’t work straight away. Do it after a few days, or even weeks.”  
Dan suddenly increased his force, and Phil gave a small gasp. He was beginning to enjoy it now that he had gotten used to Dan’s enormous size.  
“Fuck,” Dan moaned, as his heart rate increased with excitement. “You’re taking it really well, baby.”  
Phil couldn’t deny that he was enjoying it too. Everything felt slightly looser now – easier, better, more fluid. He began to wonder if the outcome was what he really wanted, though. Would this impact his career? His reputation? He knew his fans would be overjoyed, but what about everyone else?  
_Screw everyone else,_ Phil suddenly thought as Dan thrusted even harder. It was getting more and more pleasurable and he found himself wailing loudly with no control. _Fuck it, of course it was worth it. How bad could it be?_  
“I’m getting closer,” Dan groaned, practically pounding away at his boyfriend’s tight ass by now. “Make sure it goes deep, okay?”  
“I will.” Phil knew what he had to do.  
As soon as Dan shot his load inside him, Phil quickly turned and laid on his back at a slant. Dan held his legs in the air, letting gravity do its work.  
“How long does it take?” Phil asked.  
“I’m not quite sure, but let’s go for fifteen minutes. I don’t think we waited long enough last time.”  
“Does this even make a difference?”  
“Of course it makes a difference. Now do what I say and lie still, baby.” He kissed the back of Phil’s thighs, wishing he could reach elsewhere to make the whole process less of a chore.  
That one sentence was so goddamn hot. _Do what I say_. Phil absolutely loved it. He had always thought he was dominant, but how could that be the case when Dan’s demanding, yet loving words drove him crazy?

 

Phil giggled quietly to himself as he scrolled through the comments on his most recent video. Recently there’d been this strange rumour floating around that Phil actually had a secret wife and child. Of course, no one was serious. It was an inside joke.  
It wasn’t going to stay as an inside joke, though. Atleast, the child part wasn’t.  
“They think it’s a joke,” Phil said to Dan as he wandered into the living room and sat down beside him, eating his beloved Crunchy Nut cornflakes.  
“I know. Don’t announce it or anything,” Dan urged, mumbling with his mouth full. “And when you start to show, keep the camera high.”  
“Will do. What are the telltale signs?”  
“You mean physical ones? I don’t think any of your subscribers would be able to tell as long as they don’t see the bump, Phil.” He paused, took a bite, and then added, “Besides, we don’t even know if it’s worked.”  
Phil gazed at Dan, and then slowly looked away. He began to question exactly why they were doing this, and whether or not this was even a good idea. “Giving birth is going to hurt,” he said quietly.  
“Of course it’s going to hurt. But it’s also going to be completely worth it. How bad could it be? I’ll be there to support you, Philly.” He leant over and wrapped his arms around him, inhaling his comforting, lovely scent that reminded him of warm toast and soft cotton. _How could one person be this gorgeous?_ Dan thought.  
He got up to leave, but Phil took hold of his sleeve and pulled him back down. “Stay here,” he whined. He was a needy child on the inside, but that wasn’t a problem in Dan’s eyes. It was extremely cute, in a funny way.  
“Hold me.” So Dan enveloped his dark-haired lover in his arms once again, basking in the warmth of his pale skin and providing his anxious partner with comfort that could never be provided by anyone else.

 

Dan didn’t want to be disturbed. The door was shut, the earphones were in, and the laptop was on: three signs that spelled out **DO NOT DISTURB**.  
“It worked!” Phil exclaimed, from inside the bathroom.  
Dan ignored it. He knew what Phil was so excited about, and of course he was excited too, but it was Dan-time.  
“Yes!” Phil cried, in the corridor just outside Dan’s room. The younger took out his earphones and turned around, his eyebrows raised.  
“Will you shut up?”  
Hearing this, Phil stopped in his tracks and wandered into Dan’s room, holding the pregnancy test. “I can’t believe it, Dan. I’m two weeks along. We’re having a baby!”  
Dan gave a flicker of a smile. “I’m sorry. I’m busy.”  
“You can’t be serious? I just announced that and all you care about is some stupid gaming video? _I’m pregnant, Daniel._ ”  
Dan rolled his sleepy brown eyes, unable to suppress his grin. “Oh, fine.” He locked his laptop and turned to Phil, who was wide-eyed with joy.  
“I can’t believe it. I’m going to give birth!”  
“Not just yet, you aren’t,” Dan chuckled, and tackled Phil onto the bed, cuddling him tightly. Phil sighed, enjoying his partner’s soft touch.  
“It just hasn’t sunk in yet,” Dan admitted, stroking Phil’s abdomen as if the miniscule, growing human inside could somehow feel it. “By tomorrow I’ll probably be as wild as you are.”  
So the lying-down technique had worked. Phil figured it probably wasn’t the same for females, because he’d never heard of women doing that when they wanted a kid. It seemed like Dan had done his job properly. He remembered the sensation of his warm, viscous semen slowly travelling down his rectum, the delightful friction of Dan’s huge manhood thrusting into his sensitive entrance, and the intense touching and sweating that was an intrinsic part of it all. Even if it had been another failed attempt, it definitely wouldn’t have been for nothing.


	2. The First Trimester

"Hey guys!" Phil smiled, greeting the camera with his usual introduction.  
This was his first video he was filming while pregnant. Little did his audience know that the fortune tellings he'd revealed in his last video actually meant something.  
He spoke and behaved in the same manner as always, not wanting his subconscious to give anything away.  
Being an experienced YouTuber, everything flowed without much conscious thought. He allowed his mind to drift, and thought of how having a child would impact his career as a YouTuber - what if the baby kept crying while he was trying to film? How would he and Dan make videos together if they had to take turns looking after the baby?  
Then he felt bad for thinking like that, and stopped filming for a second. _This is our child_ , he thought. _Who gives a shit if we lose a few subscribers?_ Sure, there'd be a few intolerant assholes, but how bad could it be?  
Dan was stood outside his room. "Phil?" he called. "Sorry to interrupt."  
"What is it?"  
"When do you go to the doctors?" Dan asked, looking worried.  
"Not for ages yet. I have like 5 weeks," Phil replied, frowning. "Why?"  
"You know this is gonna be more risky than a regular birth, don't you?"  
Phil looked uncomfortable. "What do you mean?"  
"Higher risk of complications than a female birth. I'm not saying anything bad will happen. I just think you should get checked on by an expert sooner rather than later."  
Phil nodded. "I will, but why are you asking me this now?"  
"Because I noticed you turned the camera off, and I wanted to talk because you always seem to be in a good mood while you're filming."  
Dan sat down beside him.  
"I was the one who was worried at first," Phil pointed out.  
"I know, but don't I have a right to worry too? You're my entire goddamn life, Phil. You're irreplaceable."  
"Nothing will happen," Phil said, taking hold of Dan's hand. "I'm strong, and I'm healthy. I already know about the risks surrounding male birth."  
They sat in silence for a short moment.  
"You want me to help you take your mind off things?" Phil asked, his eyes gleaming as he smiled. "This video can wait."

 

Phil was the initiator, but he felt apprehensive, seeking permission.  
"Go ahead," Dan said.  
"The whole thing?"  
Dan giggled. "Of course. You've done this before. I feel like you know what you're doing."  
Their black skinny jeans, underwear and T-shirts had carelessly been tossed aside onto Phil's colourful bedsheets. He lowered his head. He couldn't remember doing this before. It felt just as big in his mouth as it did in his rectum. It felt wider than it looked, and a lot longer, too.  
Thank god he had remembered to turn the camera off.  
"Just like that," Dan whispered, running his fingers through his partner's black hair. "You're doing it perfectly."  
Phil felt anxious about deepthroating him, scared that his gag reflex would kick in. Would Dan be upset if he couldn't do it, thinking that Phil was disgusted by him?  
He decided to proceed anyway, slowly lunging his head forward, pushing his partner's huge length into his warm, wet mouth. It was difficult going this deep and he felt inexperienced, but he could hear how heavily Dan was breathing. He almost thought he felt him quiver a little. He was doing it properly, doing it right, for Dan. He was making him happy.  
" _Yes_ ," Dan moaned as Phil began to suck harder. For a moment he stopped and took his partner's huge cock in his hand, dribbling saliva onto the top and then taking it in his mouth again.  
"Oh, fuck, baby," Dan suddenly groaned, unable to stop himself from gasping as Phil's warm tongue erotically glided up and down his shaft, and then stopped at the tip, licking it and making him moan even more. "Don't you dare stop. _Jesus christ, Phil._ "  
As he continued to pleasure him, he remembered why they were doing this in the first place. He loved Dan tremendously, and the thought of him being scared of something that probably wasn't even going to happen was incredibly upsetting. This seemed to have worked, though. Sex with Phil could take Dan's mind off anything.  
Dan suddenly groaned again and tugged on Phil's hair as he shot his thick cum into his partner's open mouth. Phil kept it on his tongue, showing it to Dan, showing him what a good boy he was and what he was capable of doing.

 

Phil wondered if being penetrated was a good idea while he was pregnant.  
_What harm could it do, though?_ he asked himself. Surely most people didn't just abstain for 9 months. He couldn't bear that, especially considering his partner was Dan. Dan was insanely good.  
As he laid his head just next to the damp patch on his bed, he rested his palm on his lower abdomen. _The video can wait until later,_ he thought. _That tired me out._  
He wondered what the child's gender was. Having a boy would probably mean he'd be able to relate to the child better, but having a girl would be a pleasant change in the family.  
Phil was kind of surprised by the amount of love he already felt for the foetus growing inside him. It truly was a wonderful feeling. As of the now, the tiny human was so, so small, barely even a human at all - and yet he felt so much love, so much care. He so wanted this to work out. He and Dan were going to make sure this worked out. They were finally going to be a proper family.


	3. Morning Sickness

Dan thought Phil was exaggerating. _It can't be that bad,_ he thought, as Phil dashed into the bathroom.  
He sighed, following him. Phil was knelt in front of the toilet bowl, heaving.  
"So it doesn't only happen in the morning, then?" Dan asked, confused.  
Phil grabbed some tissue, wiped his mouth and then turned around. "You don't seem to be very educated, Dan. That's common knowledge."  
"Then why is it called morning sickness?"  
"Don't ask me."  
Feeling sorry for him, Dan walked over and began to rub Phil's back. "There, there," he said, a hint of sarcasm in his tone.  
"Are you taking the piss out of me? I'm genuinely suffering here."  
Dan hardly knew anything about pregnancy, especially male pregnancy. Phil had been sick twice today and at first Dan had just assumed that he'd overeaten or something. Phil said it was "something to do with hormones", but that sounded too general.  
"If I'm this stupid, how am I gonna be a good parent?" Dan asked, looking helpless.  
"You're not stupid, Dan. You just need to be a bit more observant of your surroundings." Phil leaned in to kiss him and Dan instantly recoiled.  
"No, no," he said, backing away. "You've just been sick. That's disgusting."  
His dark-haired partner sighed. "Can I have a hug atleast? You can't even begin to imagine the nausea, and I need some love."  
Dan wrapped his arms around him and leant on his shoulder. "You're just like a baby," Phil said softly, stroking Dan's back and being careful to avoid his neck. He brought him into the living room and sat down beside him, allowing the younger to lean his head against his chest.  
Dan giggled. "You've become all nurturing and kind over the past week or so. I feel like you'll be a good father. I don't know about me, though."  
"Why wouldn't you be a good father?"  
"Are you kidding me? I'm the worst influence ever. I swear like a sailor, I make constant jokes about sex, and I'm a sarcastic little twat. I don't want our kid growing up like that. You're so much more innocent, Phil."  
"I'm not innocent," Phil said quietly. "Everyone on YouTube just thinks I am. You're the one person who's aware of the truth, so I can't understand why you just called me innocent. I'm 30 years old, Dan. I swear, I get drunk, I talk about sex, and I poke fun at things sometimes." Then he added, "Maybe having the baby will make us better people. I'm not saying we're bad people, but I think this will bring out the best in us."

 

Phil was far too nervous to tell anyone just yet. Most of his family weren't even aware of he and Dan's relationship, but surely it was obvious by now. The majority of his audience were convinced.  
He was almost certain there was no homophobia in his family. His parents and brother knew about the relationship and were fully supportive, but his extended family still weren't aware of it.  
It was the same with Dan's family. Nobody on his side knew that he was going to be a father, and only the closest members of his family were aware of the relationship.  
The idea of telling their audience that they were far, far more than friends never seemed to cross Phil's mind, but Dan considered it all of the time. He had given tiny, subtle hints here and there, making the phandom go crazy. On one hand he felt bad about concealing something that was actually quite beautiful, but on the other hand it just made everything easier.  
It wasn't like it was going to stay concealed for much longer, though. As soon as their audience found out about the baby - which they would, sooner or later - it would be completely obvious, and impossible to hide. There was nothing that could be done, so there was no point in stressing over it. And besides, how bad could it be?  
Their viewers had already seen much more than was intended. They'd seen hickeys, photos, old tweets, old messages - and commented on them, too. One of Phil's older videos was even known as "The Hickey Video", which sent shivers down his spine.  
And here they were now, starting a family.  
"Just wondering," Phil began, after this long period of thought, "why do you keep trying to make it obvious about us?"  
"I'm not trying to make it obvious," Dan replied, turning over. "It's just a bit of fun I like to have. They always think I'm joking."  
"Just hold off until after I've had the baby. Please."  
"Alright." Dan leaned over and kissed Phil's soft, pale cheek. "Your skin is so soft," he said, as he reached over and ran his fingers down Phil's neck.  
"That tickles," Phil giggled. "It's nice."  
Phil loved sleeping in Dan's bed. It was so spacey, and much more comfortable than his own bed. Not to mention the fact that cuddling Dan was the best feeling in the world.  
"You know, I'm confused," Phil suddenly said. "You remember when I used to top?"  
"Mmm?" Dan responded.  
"Well, I'm glad you top now."  
"Same with me. It's odd, how things seem to have changed."  
Phil reached under the blanket. He shoved his hand down the front of his boxers and began to masturbate shamelessly, much to Dan's surprise.  
"Phil? What's going on?" But he knew full well what was going on, and he also knew that it was hormonal.  
"Please, Dan," Phil said, a slight moan in his voice. "I feel like I'm craving you."  
"What's brought this on? You weren't like this a few minutes ago."  
"Just give it to me! I've been wanting this since freaking Wednesday and you won't give it to me just because I had this mad idea that it'd affect the baby!"

 

As Dan slowly stripped Phil of his pyjamas and admired his perfect body, he wondered how this was going to work when he started to show. Surely it'd be uncomfortable?  
"I'm scared I'll hurt you like I have before," Dan said, anxiously.  
Phil looked and sounded desperate. "I don't care," he said. "Just give it to me. _Fuck me, Dan._ I feel like I really, really need it. _Give it to me, now._ "  
"Okay, okay, just calm down. If you can't walk for a few days, don't go blaming me." He stood at the edge of the bed and, rather than going slow like before, he thrusted into Phil with great force, going as deep as he could right away.  
Phil cried out instantly. "Do you want me to stop?" Dan asked, concerned.  
"No! Please don't stop," Phil begged. _Wow,_ Dan thought, as he thrusted into him again, as hard as he could. Sexual frustration after two days without it? What was up with him?  
But Dan couldn't deny that it felt absolutely amazing. Phil was incredibly tight, so much so that Dan sometimes worried he would cause him pain - but that didn't seem to be the case right now.  
"My god, Phil," Dan panted, as his partner moaned louder with each thrust. "It's fucking beautiful. You're fucking beautiful."  
Phil quivered and clenched his toes, unable to stop himself from whimpering Dan's name occasionally. It no longer hurt like it used to. Dan loved to be rough. So freaking what if he screwed him so hard that he could hardly walk? How bad could it possibly be, after all?


	4. A Little bit Painful

Dan gazed intently at the expression on his partner’s face as Phil cried out uncontrollably. He tugged on Dan’s hair, dug his nails into his forearms, groaned his name. Dan felt the warm, thick fluid on his chest as Phil panted loudly, his eyes closed.  
Dan loved to pleasure Phil. He loved the way he submitted himself to him, the way he begged him for sex, the way he couldn’t stop himself from crying out his name.  
It was only now that he had realised the extent of Phil’s reliance upon him. _Two days,_ Dan thought. Two days of abstinence and he was pleading for it.  
But Phil’s neediness wasn’t a turnoff. As a dom, Dan found it insanely arousing that he could make his partner beg for it, that he had the power to tell him what he wanted him to do and be obeyed gladly. It was so pleasing to see the look of desire on Phil's perfect face, and to hear his gorgeous moans as he pounded his beautiful, tight ass. Dan adored every single part of it and never wanted it to stop.  
As Phil sighed and gave a tiny smile, Dan leant forward, kissing his abdomen. He explored his entire body, kissing every inch, doing his best to make Phil feel beautiful, and loved. _He's mine_ , was all Dan could think of as he pressed his moist lips against Phil's lower back, leaving a trail of hickeys down to the bottom of his spine.

 

Now he felt glad that Phil had been so horny. He was sure it was something to do with the pregnancy, but why did that matter? At first he was convinced that it was too late at night, that he was tired, that it could wait until morning... but Phil had needed sex _now._  
"You should go to sleep now," Dan said, after a significant period of silence.  
"But I'm not that tired."  
"You need to take care of yourself," Dan told him, feeling as though this conversation was well overdue. "And are you eating right? You should cut down on the Frosties and eat some broccoli or something."  
"It doesn't matter what I eat, Dan. I've heard stories about people who live on fast food and their kids turn out fine."  
"Living on fast food is bad anyway, pregnant or not."  
"I know." He turned over and said, "Please hold me, Dan."  
Dan shifted towards him and put his arm around his waist, gently tickling his stomach. He leaned into him, inhaling his comforting scent. He pushed his still hard cock against his ass, making Phil shudder a little, teasing him.  
"I'm not going to do anything else," Dan whispered as Phil began to close his eyes, enjoying his touch.

 

"Ouch. Oh, my god."  
Dan opened his eyes upon hearing this, but instantly closed them again. It was too bright. The morning sun reflected upon the open window and cast its blinding light into his bedroom, right into his sleepy eyes.  
"Fuck."  
Dan sat up. "What's the problem?" He opened his eyes to see Phil bent over, completely naked, rubbing a damp flannel against his ass.  
He burst out laughing. "What the hell? What are you doing?"  
"It's so sore!" Phil exclaimed, blushing at the fact that he hadn't expected Dan to wake up and see him in this state. "I wish I'd stayed in the bathroom now. Just ignore me, Dan. It's fine." He swiftly left the room, in pain.  
Dan got out of bed. _Was I too rough?_ he wondered. _Was it me?_ He felt bad, but it was awkwardly amusing. _My poor boyfriend has a sore arse because I was too rough in bed._ When he put it like that, it was hilarious.  
He knocked on the bathroom door. "Go ahead," Phil replied, and he wandered in. He was dressed now, thankfully.  
"Jesus, I'm so sorry," Dan apologised, taking hold of his hand. "You should have told me."  
"But it felt so _good,_ " Phil said sadly.  
"How can it have been pleasurable if you're like this? Now I'm worried about what you'll be like when you give birth. How will you cope then?"  
"I'll need to do some... preparation, I guess," Phil said, feeling extremely awkward.  
"What kind of preparation?"  
Phil shook his head and stared at the floor, not answering the question.  
"I know I told you this wouldn't happen again," said Dan, "but you can't really blame me. I just gave you what you wanted."  
"I know. It's not too bad, anyway. I can walk this time. Well, kind of."  
_That buffoon_ , Dan thought, as he left the bathroom. As he walked away, he heard Phil groaning in pain again, and couldn't suppress a giggle.

 

Preparation. What the heck did he mean?  
Dan knew there were these classes you could attend while pregnant that told you what to do to make birth easier and everything, but he felt like that wasn't what Phil was talking about.  
The excitement was beginning to kick in. It had always been there, ever since the test came back positive - but now it felt more real, and was always there, lingering in the background at all times. They began to wonder who the child would take after the most, what their interests would turn out to be, who they would look like... the list went on, and they truly felt like expecting parents now.


	5. Ultrasound Scan

The sensor felt a little cold against his skin, but it was beautiful to actually physically see his own child inside him.  
"This is your first child?" the sonographer asked, a raised intonation to indicate a question.  
Phil nodded.  
"You'll probably start showing soon, if that's the case. First-time parents tend to show a little earlier."  
Phil glanced at Dan, who was stood beside him. Dan glanced back, checking he was okay.  
The sonographer applied a little more pressure to the sensor on Phil's abdomen, then took a closer look and smiled. "Well, just look at that!"  
Phil and his partner glanced at the black and white image.  
"There's two!" Dan spluttered.  
She gave a light laugh. "Looks like you're having twins."  
"I can't believe it!" Phil said, physically unable to stop himself from smiling. "Can you tell if they're identical or not?"  
"Not just yet, unfortunately. It's also hard to tell their gender at the moment," she said, peering at the image produced by the ultrasound waves. "We'll be able to tell you more the second time you come for a scan."  
Phil was immensely happy. Giving birth was still a terrifying thought, but he couldn't wait to see his own child - no, _children_ \- for the first time. It felt like ages away, but he knew that 30 weeks was going to fly by. It felt like it was only yesterday that he discovered he was pregnant.

 

"Look what I got."  
Dan handed Phil the freshly-printed photo.  
"Where did you get this?" Phil asked.  
"They printed it afterwards. How did you not realise? Were you asleep or something?"  
Phil shrugged, confused. "I just don't remember."  
The image was of the ultrasound scan. You could just make out two tiny bodies, although their heads were easy to make out. "Babies' heads are so big compared to adults," Dan pointed out.  
"I know," Phil said softly. Then he paused and added, "We should decide on names."  
"But we don't know the genders just yet."  
"That doesn't matter. We'll think of two for each gender. Or pick unisex names."  
They were both still rather surprised after discovering they were having twins, but they were overjoyed. They planned on framing the picture taken from the scan. Then they could show it to their children when they were older and say, "That's you."  
They realised this was all coming together. Soon they'd be deciding on names. They already knew where Phil would be giving birth, and had already purchased some of the things they'd need in advance. They were well prepared and competent. Everything was wonderful.

 

Dan hesitated. Maybe text would be easier, but a call seemed more appropriate.  
He dialled the number on the landline phone and waited. Why was this so hard?  
"Mum?" he spoke, when she picked up. "I have some great news." He just felt so awkward, as if he was delivering some terrible news rather than something wonderful.  
"You're getting married?" she assumed.  
"No, not just yet," Dan replied. "Although I can imagine that will come soon. Me and... excuse me a sec." He cleared his throat. "Me and Phil. We're..." Why couldn't he just say it? What was the problem?  
"Take your time," she assured him.  
"Me and Phil are having twins," Dan blurted out.  
She paused. "Oh, wow!" Noting her reaction, Dan felt glad he'd mustered up the courage. "I'm so happy to hear that! How far along?"  
"Just over 10 weeks."  
"That's great, Daniel! Are they identical?"  
"We aren't sure just yet, but I'll let you know when we find out." He sighed happily. "I'm so glad you took this well, mum."  
"Why wouldn't I? I think it's lovely that you're starting a family."  
"I was just scared of your reaction because we aren't married yet. Some people, they... you know, they think it's bad and all that."  
"Don't worry about that, Dan. We know you're in a secure relationship. You're in a good place. You should get married when you both feel ready."  
"I know. Thanks so much for the support. I'll update you on how things are going in the meantime. See you."  
"See you."  
He put the phone down.  
Phil was still watching and listening. "See? It wasn't that hard."  
Dan blushed. "I know," he said. "I know it's only my mum and all that. But I was scared she wouldn't take it well."  
"Mmm," Phil responded, understanding. "This is the 21st century, though."  
"Have you told your family yet?"  
"Not just yet, but I know they'll be overjoyed."  
Phil shoved another handful of salt and vinegar crisps into his mouth.  
"You've had four bags of those today!" Dan said. "That's really bad."  
Phil frowned, still munching away.  
Dan attempted to take the packet away. "If you want snacks, go eat a banana or something. Be healthy."  
"I just want salt and vinegar crisps, Dan. It's all I feel like having."  
"Please don't use that excuse about cravings during pregnancy. You need to eat something nutritious."  
"It's not an excuse!" Phil exclaimed, nearly dropping his snacks. "I genuinely need them! I feel like I have to have them."  
Dan sighed, not really understanding. "If you say so. But please, try to eat something healthy every now and then. I'm sure our kids will thank you in some way."

 

It was eerily quiet. It was just starting to get dark out, but the green lava lamp and the colourful Tetris block lamp by the fireplace made the room super cosy.  
Dan and Phil sat together on their couch, basking in eachother's warmth. It was too cold to do anything but watch TV.  
"When are you due?"  
"October," Phil replied.  
Dan peered outside at the cloudy, darkening sky. It was supposed to be spring, but it was absolutely freezing for March. It was like January, but apparently it would warm up in a couple of weeks.  
After a minute or two of thought, Dan said, "I can't believe I have you, Phil. Thank you so much for being a huge part of my life."  
Phil smiled. "I know. Just think, if it wasn't for that token in the cereal box..."  
Dan knew what he meant. It was a great example of the butterfly effect, where every event - no matter how insignificant - seemed to lead to something completely different, and then that result of the original event would lead to something unique too.  
He imagined if Phil hadn't picked that specific cereal box, hadn't claimed the cheap camera using the token inside, and hadn't uploaded that video all the way back in 2006. Dan would never have come across him, would never have become a fan and met up with him. They would never have fallen in love, and Phil wouldn't be pregnant with twins right now. Then their children wouldn't exist, and neither would their children's children, and their children either...  
How bad could that have been? If Dan had never met Phil, he wouldn't miss him, but the thought was just terrible.  
"Dan!" He snapped out of it. "Is everything alright?"  
"Yeah, yeah," he replied, dazed. "I was just lost in thought. _Way_ lost in thought."  
Phil kissed him on the cheek. "You seemed worried. If there's anything on your mind, I'm always here to talk. Even if it happens to be the middle of the night and you need to wake me up, I'll still be there for you."


	6. The Second Trimester

Phil gasped. "Be gentle," he said.  
"Sorry," Dan apologised, drawing back. "I just wanted to see how much it hurts."  
Phil frowned. Was this a good idea right now? Then again, it was only a little pain. How bad could it be?  
Dan gently inserted his fingers inside him, wanting to pleasure him but scared it would hurt instead.  
"No sex for a while," Phil said quietly.  
Dan nodded. "You should have told me to stop, Phil. I thought you wanted it hard."  
"I did, but I regret it now. I'm just really sensitive, it seems."  
Dan smiled, gently rubbing his fingers against his inner walls. "This is fine though, right?"  
Phil nodded. "That's so good, Dan."  
Dan was sat beside him. Phil reached behind him and gently pushed his fingers into him too, making him give a little moan.  
"Oh, Phil? I wasn't expecting _that._ " He grinned at him, enjoying it greatly. He hadn't experienced the feeling of having something inside him for a while, and it felt beautiful, but not quite as beautiful as penetrating Phil.  
As Phil moaned while his boyfriend rubbed that sweet spot inside, Dan ran his other hand over the bump that was gradually developing on Phil's abdomen.  
He didn't tell Phil this, but he absolutely loved being fingered. Sometimes he missed when he used to bottom, although he was certain by now that he preferred to top.  
He imagined if it was the other way around, if he was the one pregnant with their babies. Would he be anxious? Of course he would, so maybe simply telling Phil "not to worry" wasn't enough.

 

Phil giggled as he pressed the tweet button on the app. How bad could it be?  
A few minutes later, an annoyed Dan burst into his room, holding up his phone.  
"What is this?"  
Phil gingerly looked at the screen.

 _It's so wonderful to feel them inside me. 14 weeks along now!_ It had a sparkly emoji and a baby emoji next to it.

"Delete it," Dan said abruptly.  
Phil sighed. "No one is gonna take it seriously."  
"Delete it!" Dan snapped, feeling humiliated. "How can you possibly have thought this was a good idea? What the hell."  
"You know about the wife and child rumour?" Phil said. "They'll just think it's part of that. They'll think it's a joke."  
Dan snatched Phil's phone from his hands and quickly deleted the tweet. It had received several thousand likes and hundreds of retweets already.  
"I can't believe this, Phil."  
"What can't you believe?"  
"What you just posted on Twitter! First of all, you've outed us. Secondly, everyone's gonna know about the pregnancy now. Thirdly, we have millions of followers, so it's too late to do anything."  
Phil was speechless. _We were going to tell them after I give birth anyway,_ he thought.  
Dan looked through his notifications tab and clicked specifically on the mentions section to read some of the replies:

"WHAT"  
"omfg Phil"  
"PHIL'S PREGNANT"  
"phan is real"  
"Aw congratulations xx"  
"Notice me senpai"  
"PHIL WHAT"

Dan scowled as he read them.  
"Why the fuck did you even tweet this?" he demanded.  
"Same reason you act all flirtatious sometimes while we're filming," Phil replied. "It's fun to watch the uproar."  
"There's nothing fun about this."

 

It was uncomfortably quiet. Dan rested his head in his hands.  
_Such an idiot_ , he thought.  
He switched on his laptop, preparing to face the outcome of what had happened earlier.  
_Why did he do it?_  
Twitter was out of the question, atleast right now. Maybe Tumblr was a safer option. He searched his and Phil's tags, not feeling too concerned.  
He was wrong.  
Of course it had been screenshotted, and multiple times at that. When you had millions of followers, deleting a tweet would do nothing. Thousands had seen it, and he couldn't lie and say that it wasn't real, because it was. He already had a bad reputation for lying about things from the past to save having to admit to them.  
He read countless posts talking about whether it was a boy or a girl, how wonderful it was, and how shocked people were.  
Dan sighed. Of course he himself knew that it was the truth, but it amazed him how everyone had jumped to conclusions. It was sudden and out of the blue. What gave them reason to think it wasn't a joke?  
He picked up his phone and texted Phil, gritting his teeth.

_Fuck you._

Phil replied almost instantly. _Don't drag this out, Dan. All it takes is another tweet to mend._

_Then tweet it, whatever it is. I'm embarrassed._

_I'm so sorry, Dan. I promise I'm going to fix everything. I love you._

Dan suddenly felt a pang of guilt, wishing he hadn't been so angry. Of course he was upset. Anyone would be, after someone - even their soulmate - released information about them that they had intended on hiding. Phil hadn't done this with malicious intent, though. He just didn't think it would cause this much trouble.

_I love you too. I'm so sorry for getting mad. I just thought that was so stupid, Phil._

_I know, but I swear I'll fix it._

He felt a little braver after a few minutes, and decided to sign in to Twitter on his desktop.  
Of course he and Phil had both had lots of mentions, but then he clicked on Phil's profile to see if he had tweeted anything else.

_Guys, I'm sorry about that last tweet. You can blame my brother >.< Thought it'd be funny to stir things up, I guess?_

Was it believable? Maybe, but Phil was known for being very honest, and their fans seemed convinced. The scenario was a possible one.  
Of course, this gave rise to complications with regards to what they were going to do when they finally did announce it. How would people react then, after finding out it was true all along?


	7. Baby Names

Phil hated the silence that was inevitable after some kind of row. Dan wasn't a social person, meaning that his social engagement and unbreakable bond with Phil was something real special. When he refused to talk, that "special" feeling was gone.  
Phil scrolled through Twitter once again. _I screwed up,_ he thought. He was certain not everyone would fall for the excuse that his brother had tweeted it for a laugh, even if many of his followers did seem convinced.  
Then he looked down at the bump and smiled, feeling better. Ever since becoming pregnant, he had felt as though there was this metaphorical glowing heart inside him that grew bigger and brighter as their children developed. Already he felt so much love, so much care for the little humans he hadn't even properly seen yet.

 

Dan poked the sizzling vegetables with his spatula before adding the beans and the spicy flavouring and stirring it in.  
He heard his partner's familiar footsteps and took the food off the heat, putting down the spatula.  
Just as Phil opened the glass door, Dan rushed towards him and tackled him with a hug, almost knocking him over.  
"Whoa, careful," Phil laughed, taken by surprise - a pleasant surprise at that.  
"I love you," Dan said, burying his face into Phil's shoulder. "I love you so much, Phil. _God,_ I love you." He just couldn't seem to express himself enough.  
"I love you too." Phil rubbed Dan's back, making sure that he knew he was forgiven for getting mad.  
"I hope you didn't take those texts to heart. It was the spur of the moment."  
"I know it was, but it was really stupid of me to tweet that. I don't know what I was thinking."  
Dan gently took hold of his sleeve and pulled him into the kitchen.  
"I'm making burritos for lunch. There's plenty for you too."  
Phil looked at him happily.  
"I freaking love burritos, Dan."  
They both laughed. "God, you're just too adorable," Dan said. "So adorable. It should be illegal."  
Dan put the burrito mixture back on the heat. "Maybe our kids will like burritos too."  
Phil paused before replying, "Speaking of kids, I've been thinking. I love the name Daisy, you know."  
Dan nodded. "It's so sweet. I think it's about time we came up with some ideas for names, to be honest."

 

"We need four in total, then. Two boy's names and two girl's," said Dan.  
"Definitely Daisy if we have a girl," Phil said. "I love that name. It sounds so pure."  
"Yeah," Dan said, softly. "I like it. What about Charlotte, or Charlie if we have a boy? I really like those."  
Phil nodded, surprised they weren't having any disagreements so far. "It doesn't have to be definitive right now, though. We have another 23 weeks or so yet. We have until October."  
"Charlotte is such a nice name, though. If we have a girl, we could call her Charlie or Lottie for short."  
"I know. I feel so excited now." He loved the thought of seeing their babies eventually grow up and have their own personalities and individual differences. It was so exciting, the thought of actually creating other human beings and taking care of them as they developed. It was going to be a tough journey, but it was a beautiful experience.  
"What about boy's names?" Dan asked.  
Phil thought hard. "Um... how about Matthew?"  
"That's nice," Dan replied. "Maybe something a little less common though, like Daisy. Or more unique."  
"I love the name Alexander."  
"It's still kinda common, but I love it," Dan said. "So we have four now."  
"We can still change our minds, you know. We have plenty of time before I give birth, and even then we don't have to name them straight away."  
Both of them still couldn't believe it. And twins, at that. Here they were, deciding on baby names - they had come pretty far, considering that Phil was really apprehensive about this whole pregnancy thing at first. Now he regretted nothing. He was absolutely delighted.

 

There was just one thing that Dan was still confused and curious about.  
A short while back, Phil had said he needed to do some "preparation" before giving birth, but had never clarified exactly what he had meant by that.  
Dan was certain he hadn't been referring to those pregnancy classes people go to in order to learn about how to make things go more smoothly. What kind of "preparation" did he mean? Maybe he just meant that he needed to become familiar with the people who would be present when he was giving birth, so that he knew which person did what role and all that.  
Alternatively, Dan had discovered something in Phil's room recently that gave him reason to think otherwise.  
Dan got up and sneaked through the corridor before peering into Phil's room. _Damn._ He was filming, just like he had expected.  
_Will he get annoyed if I interrupt again? I've been doing that all the time lately._  
_Oh, come on, how bad could it be?_  
"Phil," Dan called. Phil groaned and stopped filming. Sensing Phil's annoyance, Dan added, "I won't keep you for long."  
He wandered into Phil's room and sat beside him on his bed. "I just need to ask you something," he said, quietly. "I know you said a while back that you wanted to prepare for this birth, but I wasn't quite sure what you meant."  
Phil hesitated. "Well..."  
"Well what?"  
"It's kind of embarrassing, Dan."  
Dan sighed. "I've already seen what's in your bedside draw, Phil. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and I don't mind if you want me to do it for you."

 

Dan bit his lip and looked at Phil. Wouldn't this hurt? He was so tight.  
The last incident had healed by now, but he was worried about it happening again.  
_I won't keep you for long._ That was out of the window by now.  
"Phil, I promise there's no reason for you to be ashamed. It's me. I've already seen them."  
"Okay." Phil opened his draw and took them out.  
One was pastel pink, with shards of glitter on the inside that gleamed in the light. The other was pastel blue and slightly longer.  
"Goddamn, these are so cute, Phil. I know I've already seen them, but... wow. And they're so _big._ "  
Phil picked up the pastel blue dildo and licked along its shaft. Dan's eyes widened, wishing it was his own cock that Phil was licking. " _You lick that dildo, Phil._ You beautiful little thing, you."  
Phil smiled. "I need some preparation, Dan. I need to make sure giving birth doesn't hurt."  
Dan stroked along the pink dildo. "I'd be happy to stretch you out, baby."


	8. Preparation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A thousand views! :) Thank you so much for reading <3

_The hole is so small. He has to squeeze out two of them, one after the other. How is this possible?_  
Phil said that he wanted to make sure giving birth wouldn’t hurt. Of course that wasn’t possible. There was going to be some degree of pain, no doubt about that – but maybe a little “preparation” could make that better. How bad could it be?  
“I still want this, Dan. Please.”  
Dan nodded. “I know, and so do I. I’ve wanted to try this for longer than you probably think.”  
“I’m just a little scared,” Phil said quietly.  
Dan lightly kissed his neck. “I’ll make sure you enjoy it, baby. I’ll be gentle for as long as you need me to be.”  
Phil sat upright, resting his hands on the warm patch of duvet where his head had been. He turned over, and Dan ran his hands all the way down his back, from his neck to his tailbone. It was comfortably warm in the room, but Dan’s delicate touch easily gave him goosebumps. For a moment they stayed silent, and Dan gazed at Phil’s flawless body, admiring the man he had been deeply in love with for 8 years. Jesus, was he lucky. He could hear Phil’s heavy breathing.  
The anticipation was so arousing to the both of them. Dan smirked, enjoying his power to make his lover wait for it.  
Phil was so fucking hot.  
Finally he made a move and gripped his partner's butt cheeks, moving his thumbs in a circular motion towards his entrance. Dan reached into the bedside draw and picked up the bottle of cherry lube, then poured a little into the palms of his hands and rubbed them both together, warming it up.  
He slowly pushed his slippery fingers into Phil, one after the other. They slid into him with ease, and both could smell the delightful scent of cherries. Dan rubbed his fingers against Phil's ridged, warm insides, making him quiver and tense up, trying his best to suppress a moan.  
"Go on," Dan encouraged, eager to hear his partner express himself.  
Phil began to moan as Dan inserted another finger, pushing apart the walls of his rectum. Finally he picked up the pink dildo and gently pushed it into Phil alongside his fingers. He heard him give a murmur of surprise.  
"Am I hurting you?" Dan asked worriedly.  
"No, no," Phil reassured him. It's just a little stretch, that's all."

 

Phil had a worried expression on his face.  
"Is this safe?" he asked Dan.  
"Perfectly safe as long as I go slow," Dan said. "Which I will."  
Phil trusted him. Dan was a good guy. And even if it did hurt a little at first, how bad could it possibly be?  
He had removed his fingers and the dildo. Even having just those simultaneously had been a little challenge.  
"I feel ready," Phil said, and Dan slowly, gently penetrated him, not going as deep as he fully could just yet. When he saw that Phil was comfortable and okay with the situation, he picked up the pink dildo and began to push it into his entrance, stretching him out a little further.  
Phil nodded at him. "That's good, Dan."  
So he went a little deeper with both and Phil gave a groan as his muscles were stretched to accommodate the large objects inside him. It wasn't exactly painful. Just kind of a cramping, aching feeling that he could easily get used to.  
Dan began to create friction inside him, thrusting both his manhood and the pink sex toy into Phil. "Shit," Phil spoke, his voice cracking a little. "It feels huge. Oh, jesus."  
"I won't use the other for now," Dan said as he pleasured Phil. "The blue can wait."  
Phil suddenly cried out loudly. "Oh my god. _Oh my god, Dan_." He began to sweat profusely, his heart pounding and his breathing accelerated. It felt warm where Dan was thrusting into him, the friction producing heat and making him tingle and squeal with pleasure. This hadn't been a bad idea after all. It felt like fucking heaven now he'd gotten used to it.  
Eventually they both came - Phil was a little earlier than Dan, but Dan didn't stop. He carried on thrusting, and Phil was so far gone he could hardly make a sound.

 

Dan admired his sleeping lover. Phil was a little angel.  
He wasn't strong enough to lift him up and pull the colourful duvet over him, so he grabbed a spare blanket from his own room and placed it over his body.  
Phil had gained a little weight, and Dan had noticed it during sex, but there was nothing wrong with that. It was inevitable during pregnancy and was nothing to be ashamed of. He had been rather skinny anyway, and actually looked a little better with more meat on his bones.  
He was due for his second scan tomorrow. Apparently this one was called the "anomaly scan" and checked for abnormalities, although they were certain their babies were absolutely fine. Dan was thrilled to find out their genders.  
_Daisy, Charlotte, Charlie, Alexander._ Yes, they were perfect. Not too unusual but not awfully common either.  
Then he had a sudden thought. What about their surnames? He and Phil were not yet married. He knew it was decided by whoever signed the register, but he didn't see why this would be a problem. Maybe their children could take on both as a joint surname.  
As Phil slept, Dan noticed a stream of semen on his chin and nose. He had no idea if it was his or Phil's.  
Being careful not to wake his little angel, he pressed his lips against Phil's and used his tongue to scoop up the cum that had ended up on his face and gone unnoticed. He swallowed gladly.  
Phil may have looked innocent now, but Dan knew he was a naughty, kinky little fucker who would give a blowjob in exchange for some pancakes the next morning. Maybe those sort of exchanges weren't a bad idea. Dan imagined it now.  
"Give me a blowjob and I'll make you pancakes for breakfast tomorrow."

 

Dan heard a giggle.  
"I'm back."  
He sat upright and was startled to find himself in Phil's room, on his bed, underneath a thin blanket. He had no idea what the time was or how long he had been asleep, although he did remember curling up next to Phil and holding him the previous night.  
"What's the time?" Dan asked.  
"4pm."  
"Fuck." He got up off the bed, still tired from oversleeping. "I've wasted all day." He rubbed his eyes and asked, "Back from where, anyway?"  
"I had my second scan today."  
"Oh. Oh!" Then he grinned in excitement. "Did you find out if we're having boys or girls? Or one of each?"  
"I did. I'm not telling you." Phil grinned back.  
Dan glared at him. "You've got to be kidding me! You have to tell me. Why won't you tell me?"  
"I'm leaving it until I give birth."  
Dan couldn't bear it. "Oh, for fuck's sake, Phil. This is going to bother me for another 19 weeks or so. You can't do this to me."  
Phil shrugged. "It adds to the surprise." He took his phone out of his pocket.  
"Don't you dare tweet anything else," Dan warned. "Everything about the pregnancy is kept undercover until I give the green light."  
"I'm not tweeting. I'm calling my parents because I still haven't told them about this whole thing yet."  
Dan sighed as Phil began the conversation.  
The whole pregnancy thing probably wasn't even that much of a secret anyway. The fortune telling video on Phil's channel had gotten everyone talking. _Fertility, domestic happiness, and a big change in one's life._ At first they'd just assumed everyone was treating it as a joke - especially the bullshit about Phil having some wife named Janice or whatever - but maybe they were taking it more seriously than it had first appeared. Phil's tweet hadn't helped with that.


	9. The Third Trimester

There were no abnormalities. Their babies were just fine, which had been wonderful to hear.  
Dan was so pissed about Phil purposely not telling him anything else, though. They were his kids too.  
He brought the food over to the dining table and glanced at the empty seats. Two of them would be filled one day. He wondered if they'd fight over a specific colour.  
Just as Phil began to eat, he quickly put down his fork again.  
"What's wrong?" Dan asked.  
"Just had this weird feeling," Phil said, his hand lightly touching his lower stomach. "Like this strange fluttering feeling. Kinda like what you get when you're on a rollercoaster and it suddenly drops down. But way milder."  
"Whereabouts?"  
"Right where the bump is, so I'm pretty sure it's something to do with that. But it wasn't a kick."  
Dan looked at him, concerned. "Is that normal? I've never heard of that happening to anyone before."  
Phil nodded. "It means I'll start to feel some actual kicking soon. It's caused by them turning over and stuff like that."  
He ate a forkful of the pasta bake Dan had made, and said, "I wonder if they like pasta bake."  
"Who?" Dan asked.  
Phil pointed to his abdomen.  
Dan laughed. "They don't _taste_ it, you fool. The nutrients in your blood go through the umbilical cord."  
"I know, but I'm sure they're enjoying it all the same." He rubbed the growing bump and smiled. "Isn't that right?" he said to the small humans inside him.  
_God, he's so fucking precious._  
"I wish you'd tell me the gender," Dan said sulkily. "I have every right to know."  
Phil just smiled and continued to eat. "Thanks for not adding any cheese to mine, Dan," he said, avoiding the subject.  
"Don't ignore me!" Dan quickly got up and slammed his hands on the table, making Phil jump. "Are we having boys or girls? And are they identical?"  
Phil flinched. "Please stop, Dan."  
Dan gritted his teeth. "You're not going to tell me, are you." It sounded more like a statement than a question.  
Phil shook his head. "You'll find out when I have them, though."  
Maybe he was finding this fun, but Dan couldn't stand the secrecy.

 

The fluttering feeling wasn't exactly unpleasant, but it usually seemed to occur while he was eating, or shortly afterwards. Sometimes it startled him enough to choke on his food.  
By week 29, he could feel actual kicks rather than just the fluttering motions he had previously experienced. They weren't all that forceful just yet, but when he and Dan placed their hands on the bump, they could feel the little feet kicking against the inside of him.  
Phil entered the bathroom, closing the door behind him. As he filled up the bath, he stripped off his clothes, and gazed into the mirror in front of him, caressing the bump. Maybe they'd respond to his touch somehow, although he doubted they could feel it.  
He knew he had gained some weight and wasn't sure if Dan had noticed. He probably had, but he doubted he'd mention it.  
Phil climbed into the bath, and after staring at the bar of soap for a short while, had an intriguing idea. He placed the soap on his enlarged abdomen and, roughly two minutes later, a tiny foot or fist from inside him managed to push it up off his skin, ever so slightly. Then it slid right off his wet skin and back into the warm, soapy water.  
"Dan," Phil called.  
Dan wandered in, not expecting him to be naked. "Whoa," he said. "I didn't think you'd be... you know."  
"It doesn't matter. You've seen everything before," Phil said. "Come look at this. It's amazing."  
Again, he took the bar of soap and allowed it to be gently pushed off of the bump and into the water. Dan laughed. "Let me do it with my hand," he said. He placed his hand on it and, soon after, felt the light impact of the baby's hand or foot.  
"Can you tell if it's a hand or a foot?" Phil asked.  
"Not just yet, but I bet we'll be able to soon. My god, this is really happening."

 

Phil noticed the tiny wrinkles on his fingers that were a result of being in the water for so long.  
Dan reached forward from behind and wrapped his warm, wet arms around his partner's chest.  
It wasn't often they shared baths. But when they did, it was always so pure, so intimate, so perfect that they never wanted to get out.  
Dan gently leaned his chin on Phil's shoulder, his wet hair brushing against his cheek.  
Then he leant back and poured a little shower gel into his hand, and slowly massaged it into his lover's back, creating lots of scented bubbles.  
Phil sighed. "That's really nice, Dan."  
Dan smiled and began to rub a little further down. He went into the water, all the way down to the bottom of his back, teasing him a little. Then he reached around and massaged the soapy bubbles into his lower stomach and the inside of his thighs, purposefully avoiding his crotch because he was a goddamn tease.  
"Come on, Dan," Phil begged. He was whining like a little puppy and Dan had the overwhelming urge to give him what he wanted, but he decided to make him wait.  
"You can't have it until later," Dan said, smirking. "When I say so."  
Phil frowned at him. "That's not fair!"  
Dan got out of the bath and dried himself. "Don't pout at me," he said playfully.  
He turned around and felt a splash of warm water against his bare ass, and heard the sound of Phil giggling.  
"You're gonna pay for that," Dan said, wrapping himself in the fluffy white towel. "I'd almost finished drying, as well." He grabbed the sponge and submerged it under the water, then squeezed it over Phil's head. Water trailed all through his hair and down his neck and he laughed.  
"I've just washed my hair anyway," Phil grinned. "So you kinda helped me out there, Danny boy. Try a bit harder."  
"Oh, I'm not afraid to get my revenge," Dan giggled. "Just you wait, baby."


	10. Bedroom Fun

The bathroom was currently impossible to use. The floor was so wet that whenever Dan tried to lay some towels down, they became so saturated that he had to lift them up again and wring them out over the bath.  
So it looked like Phil's bedroom was a more appropriate place for some fun.  
Dan pushed Phil onto the bed, grinning. "You have no idea what's coming, baby."  
The truth was, though, Phil did have some idea, and he wasn't sure whether to be excited or terrified.  
Dan slowly stripped him of his warm, fluffy towel, leaving his bare flesh exposed to his eyes and the cool air around them.  
"That beautiful body," Dan whispered. He planted kisses across the bump at the bottom of Phil's abdomen and then moved down to his thighs.  
Phil closed his eyes as Dan's chapped lips gently grazed along his soft skin. Eventually he travelled North, and settled at that sweet sensitive zone.  
Dan suddenly looked up. "You sure you want this?"  
Phil nodded. "Of course."  
_Fuck, yes, he wanted it._  
Dan held his hard shaft and began to lick all the way along it, dragging his wet tongue right to the tip from the underside and leaving a thin trail of saliva behind.  
Then he gently pushed the end of his tongue right against the tip, and began to make circular motions against it, stimulating all those nerves.  
Phil simply couldn't suppress it.  
He panted and gripped the duvet tightly when Dan licked right against the tip, then loosened his grip a little when he moved his tongue away.  
Finally he stayed in that blissful, pleasurable spot, and began to rub his hand up and down his solid cock. Phil was losing control at a fast rate. He couldn't stop himself from mumbling Dan's name and moaning, delirious from the various sensations that soared through his body.  
And, just as he was on the edge of climax, Dan stopped.  
Phil groaned, coming back down from the high. "I knew it! I knew it was coming."  
Dan laughed. "Oh, but you love it, don't you? You love it and hate it all at the same time."  
"It's the most beautiful form of torture," Phil admitted, turning over. Dan was a fucking tease. A gorgeous, loveable, beautiful tease.  
Dan looked him in the eyes. "Turn back over, angel. I want more, and so do you."  
When Phil didn't obey straight away, Dan spanked his left ass cheek and Phil yelped. Yes, it stung, but _god was that such a fucking turn on._  
"I'm not gonna do it," Phil said defiantly, hoping to be spanked again.  
"Oh, yes you are," Dan declared, before spanking his right cheek with equal force. Phil gasped, basking in the gorgeous pain.  
Eventually he turned over again, and Dan gazed into his blue eyes, holding his chin.  
"I'm gonna pleasure you until you can't bear it."

 

He wanted to tip over the edge. He wanted to _so badly._  
But he wasn't letting Dan down. For the third time, he reached the edge of climax, and yet again, Dan abruptly stopped and allowed him to fall back down again.  
One more second and that would be it, but Dan wasn't allowing that. Of course Phil wanted to. He craved the sweet, sweet rush of an orgasm. He hated being denied of it, but at the same time absolutely loved it.  
"This is torture, Dan," Phil said, a strain in his voice.  
Of course it was torture. It was also amazing.  
"I'm going full on this time," Dan said. And before Phil had time to ask, he began deepthroating him. Phil was surprised at his ability to suppress his gag reflex.  
"Mmm," Phil mumbled, as his heart rate began to increase again. "That's good, Daniel. Oh, that's so good."  
He could feel the warm, wet flesh on the inside of Dan's mouth and throat. It was perfect. Once again, he was sweating, losing control. He pulled on Dan's hair. He bit his tongue.  
And yet again, just as he was on the brink of orgasm, Dan stopped and smiled at him.  
Phil gave a sound of frustration. "I can't take it. It's horrible. But it feels so good."  
Dan laughed. "You sound a little confused there, Phil."  
His mind was foggy with arousal. "I love it," he quietly admitted.  
"Of course you love it. You can't get enough, can you, my angel?"

 

It had taken longer than it should have, but the bathroom was finally free from all the water.  
_No more water fights for a little while_ , Dan thought.  
But he loved how they were both so young at heart.  
Phil was 30 years old and pregnant with their children, and still wasn't afraid to let go sometimes and live a little. Their kids were going to appreciate that. They were adults of the modern age, not some boring old bastards that couldn't give a shit about having fun.  
After cleaning up, Dan exited the bathroom, then headed to the living room to see Phil with his hand over the bump, looking surprised.  
"I think that was a hand," he said softly, and glanced up. "I can almost tell if it's a hand or a foot when I feel something. I wonder how big they are."  
"I think they just seem bigger because there's two, if you know what I mean," said Dan. "The bump's a little bigger than most."  
"I'm just surprised, because two days ago I had no idea if it was a hand or a foot I could feel, but now I can kind of tell. How can that be possible in two days? Babies don't grow that fast."  
"You're probably imagining it," Dan answered. "They probably all feel the same."  
Phil frowned. "I'm not! Some feel slightly different."  
Dan came and sat beside him. Phil was editing his new video. "Can I see some of the comments on your recent videos?" Dan asked.  
"Look on your phone," Phil suggested.  
"It's charging. I wanna borrow your laptop."  
Phil groaned. "Fine, but don't touch anything else, please." He handed it over.  
Dan signed in to his YouTube channel and scrolled through the comments on Phil's most recent video. They seemed to be in the clear, although many of their subscribers were discussing that thing Phil had tweeted a while ago.  
That was weeks ago. Why was that still a thing?  
But luckily, no one actually seemed to be in on the pregnancy just yet. Phil had kept the camera well above the bump, but Dan wouldn't put it past him to forget and go through the whole editing process not noticing that he was about to reveal the whole thing.


	11. Weight Gain

"What's the exact date you're due?" Dan asked.  
"The 15th of October, but it's unlikely to be exactly correct. It's only approximate."  
He was 34 weeks along now, and actually pretty glad of it. No more nausea, not as many weird cravings, and no more spontaneous increases in sex drive that led to random wanking sessions at 4am.  
Phil finally sat up in bed. Dan gazed at him worriedly.  
"You look absolutely exhausted," he said.  
"I've had plenty of sleep," Phil said. "I think I'm just tired in general. From carrying two babies around."  
"They don't weigh that much, though," Dan replied, puzzled.  
"They do when they're inside you, Dan. And I've gained weight." Phil suddenly looked away, feeling ashamed.  
Dan couldn't understand why Phil was so upset. He actually looked better than he previously had. He'd always been kind of thin, and now he'd filled out a little. How bad could a little weight gain be?  
He rested his hand on the top of Phil's head, smoothing down his shiny black hair.  
"I love the way you look, Phil. Pregnant or not."  
"You're just saying that to make me happy."  
Dan shook his head. "I wouldn't lie to you. You haven't gained all that much, anyway. And you actually look better."  
"No, Dan. I can't wait to lose it afterwards," Phil said.  
"How much have you actually gained? It can't be that bad. Plus there's the weight of the babies themselves and all that."  
"I don't know how much I've gained, Dan, but I know I've gained because I both look and feel heavier. My skinny jeans don't fit. And that's not because of the bump, it's because I've gained fat on my thighs."  
Dan leaned forward and hugged him. Phil gave a noise of surprise. "Why, though?" Phil whispered.  
"Why what?"  
"Why are you being so kind to me when I'm like this? I hate my body, Dan."  
Dan physically felt it when he said this. _How am I going to convince him? He's too beautiful for words to describe._  
"I can't let you hate yourself, Philip," Dan said.

 

Dan didn't break eye contact with Phil as he pulled the duvet away.  
"I'm not going to do anything racy," Dan quietly said. "Well. Not too racy."  
He laid down beside him and took hold of Phil's soft, warm hands, then leaned over and kissed the bump on his lower stomach.  
Phil giggled. "That tickles. I like it."  
"Just think," Dan said. "If I thought you were unattractive, I wouldn't be doing this." He kissed him again, and again, running his hands over the bump. He couldn't get enough of his body.  
Phil gave a sigh of pleasure. "That feels great, Dan."  
Eventually he opened the bedside drawer and took out the bottle of lube. "Strawberry," Dan said quietly.  
He took a small handful, rubbed his hands together and began to massage it into Phil's chest and stomach. It was a little cold at first, but the sweet smell and the slick, erotic sensation as Dan's hands glided over his skin was unbeatable.  
It smelled just like strawberry candy.  
"Like I said," Dan told Phil, "I'm not planning on doing anything that would make you scream."  
Phil rolled his eyes, but smiled. "It's just really good, Dan. You don't need to make me scream."  
"And also like I said, if I didn't find you attractive, there's no way I would be doing this." He gently squeezed Phil's shoulders. "I'm doing this because you're fucking beautiful and I'm addicted to your body. A little weight gain isn't gonna put me off. Heck, neither would a lot. I just love you."  
He began to suck on Phil's neck, tasting the strawberry lube that had ran down his shoulders and settled above his collarbones. When he finally pulled away, he noticed the small red patch he had left behind.  
"I'm gonna have to hide it when I go out," Phil said uneasily.  
"Just say it's a bruise," Dan suggested.  
"It looks nothing like a bruise. It's a hickey."  
Dan laughed. "I know it's a hickey. That's why I was sucking on your neck."  
Phil sat up and wrapped his arms around Dan, kissing him passionately. It was long, slow and gentle, neither messy nor hard, and comparable to heaven.

 

They had probably less than 6 weeks and Dan still had no idea about what giving birth would entail.  
Of course he had a rough idea, but it was the miscellaneous details that he knew nothing about. How do you get to the hospital if you don't drive? Is a taxi okay or do you need an ambulance? How do they reduce the pain? What else happens? How bad was it going to be? How bad _could_ it be?  
The questions were infinite.  
Phil seemed more confident than Dan did at this point in time. He'd obviously done his research. Which was great, because Dan was quite lazy, even in these kinds of scenarios.  
"How are you getting to the hospital? And do you want me to come with you?"  
Phil laughed. "Dan? _Seriously?_ Of course I want you with me! Who else's hand am I gonna squeeze?" He shook his head in disbelief. "And to answer your question, a taxi is fine unless the birth is imminent."  
Dan nodded. "Um... how do you know when you're going into labour? Obviously I have some idea, but..."  
"Trust me, I'll be able to tell," Phil said. "And you probably will, too. When I can feel that the contractions are stronger and more frequent, that's a telltale sign. I'll always tell you if I think it's happening soon."  
"What else happens?" Dan asked. "I know it's not gonna happen yet but I want to know so that you'll be at the hospital sooner rather than later."  
"I promise you I'll be able to tell," Phil assured him. "I know the signs. The doctor told me everything I need to know."  
"Don't you start leaking or something?" Dan asked, feeling hopeless. He couldn't remember what it was called.  
Again, Phil laughed. "Oh, Dan... don't worry about all this. You are kind of right, but that's not usually one of the first signs. The doctor told me that my water breaking is one of the last signs I'll notice."  
Dan was confused. When he'd seen labour scenes in movies and soap operas, their water would suddenly break and then they'd realise they were giving birth soon. It was portrayed as one of the first signs, but perhaps that wasn't the case in reality.  
"I'll let you know when the time comes," said Phil. "I promise you'll know when I need assistance. And I know you'll be there for me."  
Dan smiled. "Of course I will."


	12. Coming Soon

He just wanted to get it over with now.  
He was 37 weeks along, but doubted he had exactly three weeks, even though his due date was three weeks today. He hoped it was sooner rather than later, because not only was this huge bump getting on his nerves, but also because he couldn’t wait to see his children for the first time.  
Sleeping was hard considering he had two babies kicking him from the inside every night. They were most active between 9pm and 1am, right when he was trying to sleep, and also after meals.  
There’d been one incidence where he’d genuinely thought he was in labour for real, and he’d gone into hospital only to be told that it was a false alarm and that he had a little longer to wait. The contractions had been stronger and much more rhythmic than any of the others, which had alarmed him.  
Dan was a little pissed off about having to go to the hospital for nothing, but Phil really hadn’t minded at all.  
Having a laptop on his lap was uncomfortable with that bump in the way, which was obviously a problem for someone whose career was based on the Internet. He was so used to being a tall, skinny, lanky guy that having some extra fat and a huge abdomen had pretty much thrown him off balance, making him even clumsier than usual.  
“What if something goes wrong?” Dan asked as they sat together in their pyjamas, legs crossed, holding cups of tea and occasionally spooning soggy cereal into their mouths. Being a coffee freak, Phil had hated having to restrict his caffeine intake during pregnancy, but he knew that a cup of tea or coffee here and there was fine.  
“I doubt it will, but if it does, they’ll know what to do,” Phil assured him.  
Dan looked down at his knees, looking solemn.  
Phil put his arm around him. “What is it?”  
“I’m scared something’s going to happen to you, Phil.”  
Phil gave him a gentle smile. “I promise it’s unlikely, even for a male birth, which is higher risk. I’ve already met all the midwives and doctors and everything. They gave me the once over and said everything’s looking good.”  
“Something spontaneous could happen, though. Especially considering you’re having twins. What if you have to have a caesarean?”  
“Then that’s what’ll happen,” said Phil. “I’ll do everything I can to make sure our kids make it into the world safely.”

 

Thankfully they had everything they’d need. Phil’s mum had helped out, and kindly offered to pay for some of the things they needed, such as clothes, bottles, a changing mat, and a baby monitor. They’d bought the rest themselves. It was getting exciting.  
Dan had attempted to work out whether they were girls or boys by carefully observing the items Phil and his mother had picked out, trying to determine if they were girly or more on the boyish side. Phil had obviously told her about the gender, but not Dan. And unfortunately for him, everything was pretty much unisex, which had probably been done deliberately to keep it a secret.  
Dan growled as he sifted through the soft, adorable baby clothes. “These are both white. One has a bear on and the other has a sheep on. Does that mean we’re having one boy and one girl?”  
“It doesn’t mean anything,” Phil said, not giving anything away. “There’s nothing particularly masculine or feminine about bears and sheep.”  
“I think bears are more suited towards boys, and sheep for girls.”  
Phil shook his head. “I’m not telling you anything.”  
Dan had a look through the other items. “These nappies have a cute pattern! Must be girls we’re having.”  
Phil sighed. “You think a couple purple stripes make something girly? It literally doesn’t mean anything.”  
His partner looked at him with those big brown eyes that always made his knees go a little weak. “Will you tell me if they’re identical, at least?” he pleaded.  
“Nope!”  
“You told your mum and not me. _I’m their dad!_ ”  
Phil was laughing a little. “We don’t have long to go. Just imagine the moment when you get to hold them. You’ll be crying tears of joy.”  
Dan snorted. “I ain’t gonna cry any kind of tears, sad _or_ happy. I’m a man.”  
“There is nothing wrong with crying, no matter who you are. Me and you are gonna be overjoyed, and maybe if I’m not too exhausted, I can shed a few tears of joy too.”  
Dan rolled his eyes, unable to suppress a warm smile. “Oh, alright. But I’ll probably be too worried about you to be happy. I’ll save happiness for later. Depends how everything goes.” He leaned over to Phil and kissed him on the cheek. “You know, I’m scared, but I can imagine you’ll pull through. You’re brave and strong, Phil.”

 

Phil chuckled at Dan’s comment about crying.  
_He’s gonna be a real mess_ , he thought. _Bless him. He’s so soft._  
Perhaps it just hadn’t sunk in for Dan just yet, but it definitely had for Phil. Maybe he was in denial, still not quite processing the fact that he was actually going to be a dad and that they were going to have two babies to take care of.  
Phil continued mindlessly chopping the vegetables, his mind buzzing with thoughts of how Dan was dealing with the whole situation, ideas for his next YouTube video, who would be seeing him in the hospital, how he was coping in general…  
Then he suddenly had the urge to vomit.  
He dashed to the bathroom, only to discover that Dan was in the bath, and so had locked it. “Shit!” he hissed. He hammered on the door. “Open the door, Dan, please. I’m not feeling good.”  
“What? What’s up? I’m getting out. Hold on.”  
“I can’t!” Phil whined, holding his stomach.  
He heard Dan taking a towel off the rack and felt a brief glimmer of hope before vomiting all over the floor outside the bathroom.  
Then Dan opened the door, covered by a towel waist down. “Oh,” he said. “Oh, man, I’m sorry. I’ll clean it up.”  
Phil wiped his eyes, panting. “No, don’t worry about it, it’s fine. It was me who did it. It came out of nowhere.”  
“Are you okay now?” Dan asked. “You go make yourself comfy and I’ll sort this out, don’t you worry about it.” He squeezed Phil’s hand.  
“But it’s so gross, Dan…”  
“It’s honestly fine, baby. It’s only you, and I love you. Now go relax.”  
Phil reluctantly retreated into the living room, ignoring the food he’d left in the kitchen. He didn’t have much of an appetite after that, anyway. _What has brought this on? I was fine, and then the next thing I knew, I was overcome with nausea._  
He rubbed his aching lower stomach. He could feel contractions again, as strong as they were a couple weeks ago. _Soon_ , he thought. _Another week or so and you’ll be out of there._ He had thought there would be no more nausea, but maybe this was a one off. Maybe he’d just eaten something dodgy that his body didn’t agree with.  
He stayed there for atleast fifteen minutes, and the contractions were getting more powerful as well as more painful. It was highly uncomfortable, so he changed positions in the hopes they would go away. Dan entered the room and laughed as he watched him fidgeting about.  
“Eventually you’ll run out of positions and end up balancing on your head or something.”  
“They won’t go away, Dan. It hurts,” Phil complained.  
“What, that squeezing, cramping thing? Contractions, I mean. How long’s this been going on for?”  
“Fifteen minutes or so, maybe twenty. They’re rhythmic like before, and so painful. Really strong.”  
Dan’s eyes widened. “Keep monitoring it. If they’re coming about every five minutes for an hour, we need to get you to the hospital. That’s what Dr. Peterson said, right?”  
Phil nodded. “Yeah, but they’re a little more frequent than every five minutes.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m scared. Please hold me, Dan. I think they might be coming soon.”


	13. New Life

Phil went into labour on the 8th of October 2017, at around 5pm. There was no rush, no panic like they had expected. They had more than enough time to get to the hospital, which was relatively nearby, fortunately. Dan had only just remembered to phone the hospital just before they left, which he had been told to do right before Phil was to go to hospital and give birth.  
Phil had noticed the loss of the mucous plug a little earlier while his contractions were becoming increasingly painful, so he knew this was for real.  
"You feeling okay?" Dan whispered, gently shaking Phil's upper arm. They were in the taxi.  
Phil nodded, his eyes tightly closed. "I am. I'll be okay once I'm there. It just hurts, but-" Then he gripped his lower stomach and wailed. "Oh, god, Dan, it _hurts._ "  
Dan squeezed his hand. "You're going to be okay, baby. I've got you. Hang in there."  
"I feel like they might have to deliver them by C-section, Dan. That's how most twins are born, apparently. I'm really scared."  
"Please try to relax, Phil. Everything's going to be okay. I love you. I've got faith in you."

 

After Phil had changed into a loose hospital gown, he and his partner were taken straight to the male labour ward.  
Phil couldn't cope without Dan. He clung onto him relentlessly for support, but was pleased to discover how pleasant and comfortable the ward was. They had plenty of privacy.  
The midwife asked them what had happened so far while she took Phil's blood pressure, temperature and heart rate, and Dan calmly told her while Phil tried not to be so scared.  
"I need to do an internal exam," she said after hearing what Dan had told her. "It shouldn't be too painful. Please hold still, and tell me if there's any more contractions coming so that we can wait until they've passed."  
Phil nodded and drew up his legs, allowing the midwife to insert her gloved fingers into his rectum. She pressed vertically rather than horizontally, towards his cervix to see how much it had begun to dilate.  
"It hasn't opened too much yet," she said. "But I'm surprised your waters haven't broken."  
"So it hasn't progressed that much yet?" Phil asked. It was extremely uncomfortable as she prodded against his sensitive, internal muscles.  
She shook her head and removed her hands. "No. Expect some movement very soon, though. Because you're having twins, you might have to be given hormones via a drip just in case you need it to help start the contractions for the second baby."  
Phil nodded.  
"Will he have to have a C-section?" Dan asked as Phil groaned loudly again, obviously in a fair amount of pain. "We didn't plan one because everyone said that things were looking normal."  
"Not necessarily," the midwife said. "Everything looks fine so far."  
Dan kissed Phil's cheek. "You're gonna do so well, baby."

 

An electrical monitor was strapped to the bump on Phil's lower abdomen after the midwife listened to his babies' heartbeats. She said it was because they had to closely monitor the both of them.  
"No one is in any danger," she reassured them. "Twin births are just slightly different from regular births."  
Phil suddenly cried out yet again, gripping the thin bedsheets beside him and curling his toes. "Dan," he sobbed, in pain. "Give me your hand, Dan."  
Dan gladly held his hand, bracing himself for the nail digging and the intense squeezing.  
"You're gonna be given an epidural when it gets real bad," Dan whispered to him, rubbing the top of his partner's hand.  
Phil just nodded.  
"You know who everyone is, right? There's some extra people because you're giving birth to two."  
"Shut up!" Phil suddenly snarled, then sighed. "I-I'm sorry Dan. I didn't mean that. It's just- it hurts and I just can't talk."  
Dan understood. "It's totally okay."  
Phil couldn't wait to be taken into the delivery room. He wanted it to happen _now. Just get it over with, out of the way. It's fucking painful and I'm gonna have to deal with this crap for another several hours. I'm tired already_.  
He just wanted to see his precious little babies safe and sound.  
He cried out in pain again as he felt the muscles inside his body squeezing and pulsating violently, for almost a minute this time. It felt like there was a vicious hurricane going on inside him. He was already too hot, too tired, and it had only been about four hours. He had a long way to go just yet.  
His waters had broken not too long ago, which for some reason he had been really embarrassed about because he'd had no control over it.  
He wondered how many more hours he'd have to go.

 

It was a relief when he was taken into the delivery room. He'd been at the hospital for what seemed like forever already, although he was too delirious to even know if it was day or night.  
"God, these babies must be reluctant to face the world," Dan giggled, trying to lighten up the situation.  
Phil had been given an epidural earlier, which had worn off by now but had given him a brief chance to rest. He was aware he had been given some other things as well, but he had no recollection of what they were. Yes, they numbed the pain, but also seemed to have numbed his mental abilities. He could hardly think. The gas and air only magnified this effect, especially because he'd thought it wasn't working at first and started inhaling it violently.  
There were people all around him and lights and equipment and he recognised Dan's voice, but he sounded so far away, and the room seemed so large. He felt close to the ceiling, like he was floating in the air. Now he knew why people described it as being "high". _He was literally high_. He felt like he could touch the ceiling.  
"Phil? Phil," a female voice was saying to him. "Can you hear me?"  
He mumbled something that was supposed to be a yes.  
"We need you to start pushing now. As much as you possibly can, please."  
_I've been pushing for the past eight hours or so already. God help me._  
He felt the familiar, cool, soft skin brushing against his hand. "It's here if you need something to squeeze," the male voice said.  
Dan? Yes, he remembered Dan being there, but he didn't recognise the two women and the other man. Maybe he recognised one of them. He couldn't tell. He wasn't all there.  
Eventually the strange, _I-can-touch-the-ceiling_ sensation was gone and he found himself pushing involuntarily, as if they were the actions of someone else. He was in so much pain, but the pain seemed far away, and he just didn't care. He pushed and pushed and pushed, and after Dan wiped his soaking forehead and he was able to catch his breath, he pushed some more.  
He was more self aware now. Not so out of it, and he wasn't really floating anymore.  
And, just after he gave a loud groan, Dan glanced at the floor and gleefully said, "That's a big spider."  
"Oh, my," one of the women said as Phil suddenly gave an extra-large push and screamed, mustering up every ounce of strength he had. "I hope it doesn't come too near."  
"I don't give a toss about no spider!" Phil growled, digging his nails into Dan's hand. He didn't care how big it was. He couldn't have cared less if it crawled all over him. He was too busy pushing two humans out of his body to be scared of some spider.

 

"Almost one down. Keep going, Phil. You're doing amazing. Keep that up and they'll be out in no time."  
He wasn't listening. He didn't know who had spoken. He just had to focus.  
After an endless amount of pushing, tears, shouting, squeezing, groaning, pain, hyperventilating, worrying, and stress - he finally, above everything else, heard the cry of his first child.  
_Come on._  
_You've done it once and you can do it again._


	14. Two Bundles of Joy

The second had been a little easier. Atleast, from what Dan could tell.  
Phil was fast asleep and had been for the past hour and a half. Their non-identical twins were currently under the watchful care of the hospital staff as well as Dan, who had been asked to hold them so that he could bond with them.  
Every test they had undergone was normal. The second baby's heart rate had been a little slow right after birth but quickly returned to a normal rate.  
He peered at their tiny wrinkled faces below him and felt a warmth within him that he had never felt before. He felt happy. He felt as though he had found purpose and meaning.  
He glanced at the tags around their little tiny wrists: Charlotte and Daisy Howell-Lester.

 

Phil stretched his arms out before opening his tired eyes. He seemed startled at first, probably because he'd forgotten he was in hospital and had expected to wake up in his own bed.  
"How are you?" Dan asked. Surprisingly, he wasn't exhausted. He'd been awake for well over 24 hours taking care of Phil, but of course it was worth it.  
"Not bad," Phil said. "Well..."  
"What is it?"  
"God, it hurts."  
Dan nodded. "As long as you're feeling okay apart from that."  
Phil leaned back and sighed. "It was such a wonderful feeling, seeing their beautiful faces. Our two girls. I'm so freaking happy, Dan."  
Dan had cried a little earlier. He had been so overcome with joy - but it wasn't like he was going to admit this to Phil.  
"Just wondering," Phil began, "what were you guessing? Did you think they'd be identical? I thought that at first."  
"I did, originally," Dan replied. "But after a while, I just had no idea. I can't believe you hid it from me, Phil. I didn't know if we were having boys, or girls, or one of each."  
Phil rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Well, now you know. Two non-identical twin girls. Daisy and Charlotte."  
Dan wandered over to where their newborn babies laid asleep. He couldn't stop looking at them - their tiny little fingers and toes, their little button noses... they were so precious and delicate.  
They were able to go home tomorrow. Everything was looking good - they were in good health and so was Phil.  
Their families had been to visit earlier while Phil was awake. He felt as if he just wanted to sleep, and sleep, and sleep.

 

Dan peered at the food that had been left by the sink. He scraped the slightly dried up vegetables into the bin. Phil had shortly gone into labour after he'd left the unprepared food and so it had been left there for a couple of days.  
He heard a few voices from the living room and smiled. Being brand-new parents, of course they needed a little guidance from their own parents. Phil had done plenty of his own research while he was pregnant, which had helped.  
They had been given this diary kind of thing that contained all the information they needed, and that they were to fill in to track their children's development. They'd been given one for each child.  
Dan wandered into the room and sat down. Phil was holding Charlotte and his mother was holding Daisy, gently whispering to her while she slept. Dan's parents were just across the room.  
"They sure sleep a lot," Dan said. "Not that I'm complaining."  
Phil glared at him. "What do you mean, not that you're complaining? That's such a horrible thing to say!"  
"How is it a horrible thing to say?" Dan asked.  
"You're implying that you can't stand them when they're awake! What is wrong with you?"  
Dan sighed. "I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that I really don't mind them sleeping a lot because they need it considering they're only just over a day old."  
"Ah," Phil responded. He gently tucked the blanket over Charlotte's little head, which was covered with just a few tufts of dark hair. "Such a cutie," he said softly.  
There were a few congratulations cards and some gifts in the living room, which the two of them were flattered to receive. Phil was still in pain and had been told he was going to bleed for a few more weeks, but this didn't seem to bother him when he had so much to look forward to. Yes, it was going to be hard - they were going to lose sleep taking care of crying babies at 3am, they were going to have to put YouTube on hold, they were going to have to change nappies - of course it was going to be hard, especially with two of them. But that didn't mean it wouldn't be worth every minute.  
Dan scooted over to Phil and gazed at Charlotte's face. She looked a little like Daisy but not entirely. And anyway, it was hard to distinguish differences between them at this point because, admittedly, they looked just like any newborn babies - but they _weren't_ "just any" newborn babies. They were Dan and Phil's babies and they loved them with all their hearts.

 

"Promise you won't judge me? I'm an amateur," Dan said, giving a wry smile.  
"Of course I won't judge you," Phil said, while Dan was watching over the twins. "Let me show you what to do. I'm an amateur too, you know. If you'd like, I'll write down the steps. Hygiene is vital, and you can only boil the water once. This water's already cooled to the right temperature. Or you can cool it under the tap."  
Dan nodded.  
Phil seemed so educated. He was smart, and had learned everything in a seemingly short space of time. Dan was so happy to be with someone so capable and trustworthy.  
"That powder looks so unappetising!" Dan complained, as his partner dissolved it in the water.  
"It's not you who's gotta consume it," Phil laughed, and gestured to Daisy and Charlotte. "They're the ones who need feeding."  
"Are you sure formula is okay?"  
"Of course it's okay, Dan. And besides, I don't have breasts because I'm a man - obviously - so I'm confused as to why you seem to think there's another option. It has everything they need."  
Dan nodded again.  
Daisy gave a little yawn, then opened her eyes and began to wail.  
Dan held her in his arms to comfort her while Phil was making up the formula. She wasn't too heavy but was heavier than she looked. She and Charlotte had both weighed 7.8lbs straight after birth, which was pretty much average.  
"If you want to, you can feed them," said Phil. "Just remember to support their head, and don't make them finish the whole bottle if they're full or they might be sick. All over you."  
"I know, I know," said Dan. "God, you know everything, Phil."  
"Only because I've been taught," he replied. "People say that when you have children you tend to be clueless at first, which is true to an extent - but if you actively find out what to do in which situation, as well as what not to do - it can help make you feel more at ease."  
Dan smiled. He had Phil by his side and he was slowly learning. How bad could it be?

 

Phil climbed into Dan's bed. "The sheet is so warm," he said, surprised.  
"I warmed it up for you," Dan said softly as his partner laid down. "I was lying there a few minutes ago."  
"It's nice."  
Phil glanced over to where their babies slept in their cribs near to the bed. "They've been asleep for three hours," said Dan. "They fall asleep straight after they get fed."  
"They're likely to wake up in the middle of the night," Phil told him. "You know where everything is, right?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"Like blankets, nappies, bottles of infant formula, et cetera."  
"How can you tell what's wrong when they're crying?" Dan asked.  
"You can't," Phil admitted. "You have to try everything. They might be too cold, too hot, need their nappy changing, something might have scared them, they might be hungry... the list goes on."  
Dan closed his eyes and snuggled down into the black patterned pillow. He knew he was going to get this right. How bad could it possibly be?  
They were a real family now. He still couldn't believe it - Phil had been pregnant, and now those weeks were over. He'd given birth to two beautiful babies and now, here they were, sleeping peacefully.


	15. The Reveal

Dan slowly regained consciousness, and became aware of the sound of a baby crying before remembering that he was a new dad and that he had twins now.  
"What's going on?" he mumbled, opening his eyes to the seemingly blinding light.  
"It's okay, honestly," Phil reassured him. "I'm sorting it. Go back to sleep."  
"What's wrong?"  
"She needs her nappy changing. I'll take care of it."  
Dan exhaled and leaned back as Phil left the room. Surprisingly, Charlotte hadn't been woken up by Daisy's crying - she was in her crib, fast asleep, safe and sound. He stayed in bed where it was warm.  
Phil soon returned and gently tucked Daisy back in, and she fell back asleep.  
"All good now?" Dan asked.  
"All good," Phil replied, turning off the light. "I mean... you're kinda lucky that it's my job to change them."  
Dan laughed quietly. "What if you're not with me? I'll have to do it, and I'll have to try not to heave."  
"It's not that bad," Phil admitted. "Just not something you look forward to when you have kids. But it's gotta be done."  
"Of course it's going to be hard at times," said Dan. "What about when they're teething? They get so loud."  
"I can cope with the noise. I just don't want them to be in pain," Phil said.  
"When do their teeth start coming through?"  
"At about 6 months, so we're gonna have to prepare for quite a bit of screaming."  
Quite a bit of screaming.  
How bad could it be?

 

Phil bit his lip as he stared at the blue button on his iPhone.  
He hadn't been able to compress everything into just 140 characters, so he had typed it into the Notes app and taken a screenshot, then attached the image to his tweet. Dan was fine with it now, but the thought of revealing everything that had gone on for the past 9 months - no, since 2009 - was slightly terrifying.  
This would literally go down in history in the phandom. They weren't just YouTubers, they were celebrities with a huge number of followers - many of whom "shipped" them in a relationship known as "phan", which neither Dan nor Phil had yet confirmed.  
He reread what he'd written.

 _Hey guys._  
_So this may or may not come as a shock to most of you, but I'm just coming out with it. Me and Dan have been dating since 2009 and I have recently given birth to our children, two twin girls._  
_We're aware this changes everything, but please understand why we kept it a secret until now. Yes, this is 2017 and we know it's unlikely anyone will resent us because of it but we just felt it was too personal to share. Thank you for understanding. You guys are the best fanbase in the world and we are forever grateful._

He had typed two little girl emojis at the end and a smiley face.  
Once he pressed tweet, that was it - thousands would see it as soon as it was tweeted - and there was no going back.  
So he held his breath, and just got on with it.  
He saw the tweet appear on his timeline and felt his heart thumping in his chest. _It's only a tweet_ , he thought, before changing his mind and telling himself it's _not_ just a tweet, it's probably the biggest thing that's ever happened in the phandom to date.  
He was scared that they would gain a bad reputation from this. What if people began to view them as deceitful liars for lying about their relationship for all those years? What if people were homophobic towards them?  
Of course, this would be a minority. He and Dan had many loyal fans that were supportive, and many of whom were homosexual themselves. Yes, of course this would change everything, but perhaps it could even be for the better.

 

"Phil!" Dan yelled. "Phil, come quick."  
Phil rushed into the room to see Dan holding Charlotte... with sick all over his T-shirt.  
He burst out laughing. "I thought it was an emergency or something."  
"It is an emergency!" Dan hissed, handing Charlotte to Phil. "This is disgusting! Please help me out. She hardly even had anything and then brought it up again, all over me!"  
Ah, the joys of having two-week-old babies.  
"You were probably feeding her too fast," said Phil, while Dan removed his shirt. He wasn't phased by it at all, but Dan was completely overreacting, making loud retching noises and acting traumatised.  
"I can't cope!" Dan wailed, taking his dirty shirt into the bathroom. Phil followed him, laughing at him. "Don't follow me!" he snarled. "You should be looking after Daisy too. Go away."  
Phil walked back into the room, a grin on his face. Poor Dan. He was getting there, but he had a long way to go. Surely he knew that babies didn't have control over their functions at this age. It wasn't their fault.  
Charlotte began to cry, probably hungry because she'd been sick. Phil picked up the bottle and began to feed her, which calmed her down instantly. Sure, having two babies in the house could be a little gross at times like these, but they really were so wonderful.  
Dan and Phil always made the most of it when they were awake. They had really pretty eyes, and it was lovely to see them open, watching what was going on nearby.

 

Phil watched Dan fondly. "I don't think they can see all that well just yet," he said.  
Dan glanced over to him, but continued. "I'm sure it's still good for them, though. It must be so boring, being a baby."  
Phil changed the subject. "How are liveshows going to work now? I mean, we haven't done one since I gave birth, which was nearly three weeks ago."  
"What do you mean?" Dan asked, pulling a strange face infront of Charlotte. She began to cry.  
"That's exactly what I mean," Phil said, gesturing to Charlotte. "It's not going to be easy hosting a livestream with babies in the apartment. And what did you do to make her cry?"  
"I was pulling a face. I thought she'd like it," Dan shrugged.  
"First of all, they're too young to understand," Phil said, comforting Charlotte. "And secondly, I highly doubt anyone would find that face amusing. Your face is gorgeous as it is."  
When Charlotte was calmer, he placed her back in her crib. She'd seemed rather irritable today.  
Dan blushed. "I could say the same about you." He smirked, eyeing Phil up and down. "What are you looking at?" Phil giggled.  
"That body," Dan said wistfully, gazing at his partner. "I know it's been difficult recently what with the new members of the family and all, but... I've got a craving, Phil. A craving that I can't satisfy by myself."


	16. Smile

Phil peered back into the dimly lit room, feeling a bit apprehensive. Atleast it was nice and cosy for them. They seemed to like just having the lamp on.  
"It's fine," Dan urged. "I set up the baby monitor ages ago. It senses their motion and everything. They're less than ten seconds away."  
Phil shook his head. "I know the babies will be fine; that's not what I'm worried about. If we do it too soon after birth, it could cause an infection."  
"What am I meant to do, then?" Dan moaned.  
"Deal with it yourself."  
"Deal with my own hard on?"  
Phil nodded.  
Dan stared at him angrily. "I need this _so bad_ , Phil."  
Phil rolled his eyes. "Listen. I'm willing to let you do anything that doesn't involve penetration." How bad could it be?

 

Dan gazed into Phil's bright eyes. "It's been, like, a month," he said. It was funny - Dan was obviously the dominant one in the relationship and yet, as of now, he seemed to be the neediest.  
"Honestly, I'm more than happy if this is all you want, Dan."  
"You know what to do, right?" Dan asked, seemingly uncertain.  
Phil sniggered. "I'm what you should consider an expert, Daniel. It's not like I've forgotten."  
Dan began to unbutton his jeans, not breaking eye contact with Phil. _You could go swimming in those eyes._  
As he took off his shirt and underwear, he leaned back, deciding it was best to lay down. Phil knew it was his turn to make a move, to give Dan what he'd had an intense craving for.  
Phil wrapped his pale hands around his partner's firm penis, and Dan reached forward, stroking Phil's head as he pleasured him, taking it into his mouth and sucking tightly, creating pressure between Dan's shaft and the inside of his wet mouth. Dan gave little panting sounds as Phil pushed his head forward, and then back, running the slippery insides of his cheeks against his large manhood.  
"You're so good, Phil," Dan whispered, his head resting on Phil's colourful, warm pillow. Phil glanced up, his eyes smiling as Dan's panting slowly turned to moans. He was so happy to give him what he'd been wanting.  
"Good boy," Dan praised, a strain in his voice as he got more and more aroused. _Holy fuck, Phil_. He could do this all night.  
He took him deeper, leaning forward to push it deeper into his throat. Dan thrusted his hips up off of the bed a little, making it easier. Phil seemed calm and in control despite the fact that he had a huge cock down his throat that was making it difficult to breathe.  
"You sure you're okay with this?" Dan asked.  
Phil nodded eagerly. In all fairness, Dan was enjoying it far too much to stop, and before he could express his concern for the man currently deepthroating him, he came, and groaned as he shot his cum in Phil's mouth, running down the sides of his throat.  
Phil took his partner's cock out of his mouth, seemingly out of breath. Dan was laying down on the bed with his eyes closed, facing the ceiling, his chest rising and falling with each shaky breath he took.  
"You," Dan began, still shaky from his orgasm. "You haven't done that before, have you?"  
"I did once," Phil said quietly.  
Dan smiled. "Shit, Phil. That was so satisfying. I can't understand how you're so good."  
Phil glanced at the baby monitor. "I can hear one of them crying," he said. "I gotta go get dressed and see what's wrong. I'll be right back."

 

Dan stayed where he was, the back of his body sinking into the soft sheets. He could hear Phil muttering to either Charlotte or Daisy.  
Phil entered his room again. "She's okay now. I feel bad about not being in the same room as them though. Are you sure it's okay to do that when they're this young?"  
"Yes. They're not going to get hurt, Phil. We just needed some intimacy. They're only a few metres away."  
Phil bit his tongue. "They're very vulnerable at this age. There's this thing called sudden infant death syndrome, and I know you're horny and all, but is it worth the risk?"  
"Of course it isn't worth the risk," Dan said, using a pillow to preserve his modesty. "That isn't worthy of any kind of risk. I'm just saying it's highly unlikely. They're constantly being monitored. It's okay."  
Phil nodded, reluctantly. He sat on the bed, and felt Dan's hand lightly touching his back, before travelling downwards, towards his ass. He giggled. "I like that."  
"You like it?" Dan said, before sliding his hand underneath Phil. He tugged on his arms, gently pulling him backwards, closer to him.  
"I miss doing that," Phil quietly admitted.  
"You miss when I fuck you in the ass?"  
Phil nodded. "Shamelessly explicit, Dan. I guess... I guess it couldn't hurt too much at this stage."  
"You sure?" Dan asked. "I mean, I really want to. But only if you want me to, and if you do, I'll go slow. And gentle."  
"I want to," Phil said. "I miss that, bear."  
Dan seemed taken aback. "Bear? You haven't called me that for years. That's my family nickname. Not that I mind. It's cute."  
"Please fuck me, bear."

 

Phil closed his eyes and leaned back. All he could think about was their three week old children, and whether or not they were okay, but Dan managed to reassure him.  
"You said it wasn't the babies you were worrying about," Dan said. "You said you were just worried because you're supposed to wait a certain amount of time before having sex again."  
"Truth is, both worry me. But I feel a bit more relaxed now."  
Dan kissed his neck. "I'm so glad, baby."  
Phil was laying on his back, his feet over Dan's shoulders, Dan's hands gripping his waist. Phil had his eyes closed, and Dan was gazing at his face, which was covered with an expression of anxious anticipation and excitement.  
Dan pushed his hands a little more firmly into Phil's skin, simultaneously penetrating him, slowly. Phil opened his eyes and gave a small sound of pain. "Dan!" he said.  
Dan stopped. "Sorry," he said, feeling terrible about hurting him. "How painful is it?"  
"It's, uh, bearable," Phil admitted. "But I'm still sore. You can carry on. I really want this."  
Again, Dan slowly, gently entered him, watching Phil's face intently. He loved to see him sweat, to see him close his eyes, to hear him moan uncontrollably. He actually managed to bottom out before Phil gave a gasp of pain again.  
"You want me to pull out?"  
"No, don't," Phil answered. "It's fine, honestly. It feels sore, but please keep going. I like it. How bad could it be?"  
Dan slowly drew his hips back, then thrusted into him again, still going slow, not breaking the gaze between he and his partner. He heard a quiet moan from deep within him and it was wonderful to know that he was enjoying it, so he went a little faster, noting his reaction.  
"Mmm," Phil moaned, Dan's fingernails gently digging into his skin. God, they'd both missed this. They'd missed it _so much._ Nothing could beat this kind of passion.  
"How does it feel?" Dan asked.  
"So much better. _Jesus christ_."  
Of course it was still painful, but Phil just didn't seem to care. He was ecstatic, and when Dan finally came inside him and Phil gave a cry of pleasure, the younger slumped on top of Phil's body, resting on him, listening to his quickened heart rate until it slowed back to normal.

 

By the first week of the second month, Dan was finding parenting a lot easier. He could feed them without them being sick everywhere, change their nappies without getting too grossed out, wind them when they needed it, talk to them, play with them, et cetera. He felt proud, not only of himself but also of Daisy and Charlotte, purely because they were his children and he loved them.  
Their hair was a little thicker than it had been at birth, and covered more of their head. Charlotte's hair was darker than Daisy's, whose hair was a light brownish-ginger colour, still quite thin and wispy.  
Dan sat on the sofa, holding Daisy on his lap while Phil played with Charlotte just across the room.  
As Dan was speaking gently to Daisy, she gave him a big, toothless smile.  
Dan's eyes went wide. "Phil!" he gasped. "She just smiled at me! I didn't know they did that at two months?"  
Phil wandered over, holding Charlotte. He was beaming with excitement over what Dan had just told him. "Seems like she's taken a shine to you after all! I feel like they didn't like you at first because I was the one looking after them most of the time."  
Dan looked at him, displeased. "I reckon if we'd have had boys, they would like me more. These pair just can't relate to me." He started looking helpless again.  
Phil found this funny. "It's nothing to do with the fact that they're girls, Dan. It's purely because I learned how to do everything while you sat around being lazy, meaning that I had to teach you at the last minute. They view me as their carer - their _dad_ \- and you're kinda like some older brother who's never around."  
"That's not true!" Dan protested. "Atleast, not anymore. I've been contributing so much lately. I've been making their formula, feeding them, washing their clothes, giving them baths, talking to them, the whole lot!"  
"I know, I'm just kidding with you. They're warming up to you now. If they didn't like you, Daisy wouldn't have smiled at you just now. Or maybe it's _only_ Daisy that likes you."  
"Charlotte will get used to me eventually," Dan said. "I just think Charlotte's a little fussy. It's her temperament, kinda like me. You know how moody and pedantic I get."  
Phil sat next to Dan, and Daisy gazed at her sister, probably wishing she could interact with her but being too young to know how.

 

They were able to play with a much more diverse range of toys now they were over two months old. Phil had bought a few textured baby toys that could be attached to the inside of their cribs, as well as some that could be hung above them.  
They were still so young, but already they were noticing differences and individuality in their personalities - Daisy frequently got excited, shown by the way she thrashed her little arms around whenever Phil entered the room. Charlotte cried more often than Daisy and hadn't smiled already like Daisy had, but when she wasn't crying, she was usually very quiet and content.  
"Look how cute these are, though," Dan said, showing Phil the clothes his mother had bought for their two daughters. One was pink with a white letter "D" on the front, and the other was white with a pink letter "C" on the front.  
"So beautiful," Phil commented, running his hands along the material. "And so soft, too. Looks like they'll be nice and warm for the winter."  
Dan suddenly stopped arranging the clothes and towels, and glanced up at Phil.  
"Um, you know that tweet from about 8 weeks ago?" he said.  
"Yeah?"  
"Do you think it was a good idea?"  
"I do," Phil replied. "You seen how many likes it got? Nearly 200k. Nearly 200 freaking thousand!"  
"I'm talking about people's reactions, not likes. You think people took it well?"  
"They took it great, Dan," Phil told him, emptying the dirty washing basket. "Although I haven't actually been on Twitter all that much recently. The replies I saw were very positive, though."  
"You do realise that **#PhilTops2k17** is still trending, right?"  
Phil snorted with laughter. "People know I was the one who gave birth, though. I mean-" He was cut off by a small wail that came from Charlotte and walked over to see what was wrong. "I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like I would _hate_ to top. But I consider myself a bottom. I'm a sub."  
Dan nodded. "We gotta stop talking like this around them," he said. "What if they remember it and start saying it when they begin to speak?"  
"I doubt that'll happen, but you are right. I want to raise them really well," Phil said. "Really polite and well-mannered, and kind. And I guess we can start by not discussing our, ahem, habits while they can hear."


	17. The Vaccination

Dan peered at the letter before opening it and reading what was inside.  
"Phil," he called. "They have to go for another vaccine soon."  
"Which one?"  
"Meningitis B, apparently."  
Phil came and sat down beside him. "I feel so bad when they have to have vaccinations," he said, sadly. "Their skin seems really sensitive, and the needle must hurt."  
"I know, but imagine if vaccines didn't exist. Geez, we'd all be overridden with disease and dying."  
"Yeah... Daisy seemed okay last time. I don't think she even saw the needle, and probably didn't even feel it."  
"We can take turns going in," Dan said. "I'll take Charlotte, and you take Daisy. Hold her on your lap like last time."  
"You'd better take Daisy instead. Charlotte doesn't like you," Phil joked.  
"Well maybe if I look after Charlotte, that'll give her a chance to bond with me and realise that I'm not some helpless dude who doesn't know how to bring kids up."

 

Dan held Charlotte closely as the lady pressed the small needle into her thigh. She gave a little wail from the slight pain and almost began to cry, but Dan whispered to her softly, making her feel safe.  
"That was so quick," Dan said, surprised. "She was really good. She got quite stressed last time."  
"It's probably because I kept the needle out of her sight this time, to stop her from being frightened," the nurse said. "She might have a slight fever a little later, but that's normal, and you can give her some paracetamol. Just make sure it's the correct strength and dosage for her age."  
The nurse scribbled down some details into the book that Dan had been asked to bring, and then he left the room. Phil was in the waiting room with Daisy and turned around as soon as he heard the door. "How'd it go?"  
"Great!" Dan said. "She was a little upset, but she was really good, and it didn't take long at all." Then, as Phil got up to leave, he added, "Maybe she doesn't hate me after all."  
"She doesn't hate you at all," Phil said. "Both of them love us just as we love them both. I really hope they get along well when they're older."  
Once they got back into the apartment, the first thing Dan did was sign in to YouTube. He had uploaded a new danisnotonfire video yesterday and was anxious about reading what his audience had to say. He decided to play a little game and count all the baby-related comments he could find.  
Dan gazed at the screen and read, out loud, " _Wow, you look so gorgeous in this video, you should wear pastel more often like you did in that video earlier this year. Also, I hope the twins are doing well_."  
Phil stopped what he was doing and listened. "That's such a nice thing for someone to comment."  
Then he read some more. 

"Have you actually had kids? That's freaking amazing!"  
"What do they look like?"  
"What are their names?"  
"OMG I'M STILL SHOOK" "Congratulations!"

Phil grinned, as did Dan.  
"I feel like everything's going to be okay," Dan said, and they both laughed, feeling relieved to discover that their subscribers were genuinely happy for them.

 

Charlotte and Daisy were now three and a half months old, and Dan couldn't help admiring the way Charlotte poked about at her reflection in the mirror in his room.  
She squealed and gurgled at the little human in the mirror, grinning curiously. Dan couldn't work out if she actually knew it was herself she was seeing, or if she just thought it was another baby. Either way, she was having fun.  
"I have an idea," Phil said, and brought Daisy over too, so that the two of them were both seeing their own reflections as well as the other's.  
They brought them a little closer, and Daisy extended her arm, trying to reach out to her reflection.  
"Their brains must be working so hard," Dan commented. "All this information that we take for granted... they have to learn it all. No wonder they sleep so much."  
When Daisy realised that she couldn't communicate with her reflection, she reached sideways over to Charlotte instead, clumsily tapping her on the nose. Dan and Phil both laughed. It was just too freaking cute.  
"You know, bear, I honestly can't wait for when they start speaking," Phil said, happily. "I wonder what their first words will be. It'll be lovely to hear them talking to us, as well as to eachother."  
Dan blinked at him. "Did you call me bear again?" He'd hardly even registered the rest of what Phil had said.  
"I did, mostly because I'm feeling super nostalgic about when we first met and all that. I had no idea we'd become a family, Dan. You were so young."  
"I know," Dan replied. "I kind of miss those times. Filming the first _Phil is not on Fire_ in your house, talking for hours on Skype, the first time we met up in real life... I didn't expect it to turn into something this big."  
Phil watched as Charlotte tried to reciprocate her sister's actions. "I feel like these two have kind of marked the fact that we'll be spending our lives together. I mean, we really should get married soon, because I definitely want to... I just hope it's something you want too."  
"Of course!" Dan exclaimed, almost startling the two girls. "Phil, I've been madly in love with you for ages. I want us to be husbands _so bad_."  
Phil was surprised by how happy it made him to hear this.  
He sniffed, and turned away, embarrassed by the cheesiness and lovey-dovey-ness of the moment. He loved Dan so, so much, and when Dan took Daisy off him and put the both of them back in their cribs, he leaned over to him, rubbing his back.  
Phil looked up at him, his eyes watery and red. He was a teary, soppy, lovestruck mess, and Dan found it fucking adorable.  
"I can't believe I mean this much to you, Phil."  
Phil wiped his eyes on his long sleeve. "You mean the world to me. My dream has been to marry you, ever since we first met in 2009 and you were one of my fans and you always commented on my videos... I never thought the day would come when we both realised we were in love and now I-I can't believe you want to marry me."  
Dan held him gently. "I've wanted to marry you for years, baby."  
"Really?" Phil asked, shaking a little.  
"Yes. And I think it's about time we made it happen. I know kids usually come _after_ marriage, but honestly, I think having Daisy and Charlotte has actually brought us closer." He kissed Phil passionately before saying, "We're going to get married, Phil, and it's up to us to make our lives the best they can be."


	18. Babbling

It was all happening now. Marriage, babies, the whole lot.  
They decided it would be best to leave the marriage until their kids had grown up a little, because things were quite expensive at the moment and a wedding would only complicate things. Sure, they had the money, but now wasn't the time.  
"Hey, come on," Dan said, rubbing Phil's back as he pouted.  
"I don't want to hold on any longer, Dan," he said, sulkily.  
"I know, I know. But we have a lot on our hands at the moment. We're juggling both our careers and two baby girls. We're currently doing our all."  
Phil sadly agreed. "I understand. I'm just so excited, and kind of impatient." Then he added, "I can't wait until they grow up into individuals. It's going to make this apartment feel a lot more like home."  
Dan allowed himself to slowly fall into Phil's lap, who began to stroke his cheeks and soft, curly dark brown hair. He twiddled his fingers around a large curl near his forehead. "Glad you're embracing your hobbit hair, Dan."  
Dan chuckled. "Everyone seems to love it. No idea why."  
"Because it's cute as hell," Phil told him. They were doing it again - all soppy and cheesy and lovey-dovey like they were a few days ago. They couldn't help it.

 

Daisy was developing a little faster than Charlotte, but the both of them were very healthy and happy 4 month old babies.  
Daisy seemed fascinated by bright colours and interesting textures, whilst Charlotte preferred more relaxing, calming toys and would probably rather take a nap than play.  
Dan had bought a large, soft, plushie dice that was covered in different textures and numbers on each side. As of now it was Daisy's favourite thing in the world. She squeezed it, pressed it, held it, tried to put it in her mouth and even wanted to sleep with it.  
They could both roll over now, but still needed support for them to sit up. They also seemed to get hungry less frequently now.  
Dan sat beside Daisy as she explored her environment, feeling different textures, listening to different sounds. She pinched the toy dice, listening to the crunchy sounds it made when she applied pressure to one of the colourful textured patches.  
"You like that toy, Daisy?" Dan asked her.  
Daisy stared at him, running her small hands across the synthetic fur on the other side of her toy. When she got bored, Dan turned it over, revealing a little square mirror on the other side. He raised it to the height of her head and she peered into it and giggled.  
"That's you!" Dan told her. "What a beautiful little baby." Daisy gave him a toothless grin before leaning forward and biting into the soft material. It was probably nice and cool on her gums.  
"What do we need for when their teeth start coming through?" Dan called to Phil.  
"You can buy teething rings and other things that they chew on. You put them in the fridge and then they bite on it, and it makes them feel better. Also, teething gel can help, too."  
Dan looked up at him in surprise. "You really know everything, don't you?"  
Phil shrugged it off dismissively, just smiling a little. "Not really. I don't know anything about when they start on solids. Looks like I have a bit more homework to do."  
He stooped down and gently placed Charlotte on the floor. Dan held her beside Daisy, supporting the both of them. Charlotte didn't seem interested in Daisy's favourite toy at all.  
Dan turned back to Phil. "Honestly," he began, "your memory is amazing. You're like a walking encyclopaedia."  
Phil giggled as Charlotte watched her sister reaching for the soft toy that was just out of her reach. Dan pulled it towards her.  
"What kinds of stuff do they eat when they start on solids?" Dan asked. "Obviously I have a rough idea."  
"Mushy stuff," Phil said. "Also, things they're unlikely to be allergic to."  
"Ah, okay. You gonna make the food yourself? If so, I'll help."  
"That's what I'm planning on doing," Phil answered. "I'll probably use jarred baby food if I'm in a pinch, though."  
Charlotte began to whimper, which turned into a loud cry. "I think it's her nappy," Dan said. "I'll go and change it... I guess." He looked at Phil reluctantly, who laughed at him.  
"C'mon, Dan," he encouraged him. "It doesn't take long at all. Sure, it's unpleasant. But you gotta do your part too. How bad could it really be?"  
Dan groaned. "It was me who did it last time! Can't you go and do it?"  
"No, it was me who did it last time. Hurry up or she'll get nappy rash."  
Dan gritted his teeth at him and carried her out of the room. This was pretty much the only thing he hated about having babies. He couldn't wait until they were older and knew how to go themselves.

 

Phil had been told that reading to them softly was a good idea even when they were really young, so he began reading to them at night. His soft voice soon sent them to sleep, and they slept through the night more often now than when they were born.  
He peered at Charlotte, who was in her crib looking kind of sleepy, but happy all the same. She'd need a larger cot in a couple of months.  
He'd just been reading to her, and she seemed to enjoy certain words.  
"Papa," Phil spoke, wondering how she'd react. "Pah-pah."  
Charlotte just looked up at him for a minute or so, before mumbling, "bababababababa."  
Phil laughed, both surprised and delighted. Yes, she had a few months before she'd be able to speak properly but it was heartwarming to hear her first attempt.  
Dan poked his head around the door. "Wait, was that Charlotte?" he asked, puzzled.  
"Yeah," Phil replied. "I kept saying "papa" because I was curious as to how she'd react, and she started babbling at me."  
"Oh my god, that is so cute!" Dan exclaimed. "Can I try?" He wandered over to her before saying, "Daddy. Dah-dee. Daddy."  
She just gazed up at him. Phil almost found it funny how she completely ignored Dan but was willing to try and communicate with his partner.  
"Dah-dee," Dan repeated. She remained silent and he gave a sigh. "You try it again, Phil."  
"Pah-pah," Phil spoke, slowly. A few seconds later, Charlotte mumbled, "ababagagabaga".  
Dan looked at her, bewildered, while Phil laughed. "It sounds so funny," Phil said, giggling. "Aw, bless her. Atleast she's having a try. She's just getting used to the consonant sounds."  
"Has Daisy startled babbling yet?" Dan asked.  
"I haven't heard her," Phil replied. "But I'm sure it'll happen soon."

 

Phil had been invited to some kind of family gathering on the 11th February, which of course he was excited about, but was also worried about who would look after Charlotte and Daisy.  
"Why don't you leave them with me?" Dan asked, confused. "I know how to do everything now."  
"I thought you were coming with me?" Phil asked.  
"It's a family gathering. I'm not allowed to go."  
"That's not true! My parents would absolutely love it if you came with me. We are family now, Dan. We'll be even more so when we get married."  
Dan blushed, realising it was the first time he had thought about it like that. "I guess it couldn't hurt if I tagged along with you."  
"My family love you," Phil told him. "Seriously, they do. They're incredibly grateful for everything you have done for me over the past 8 years or so."  
Dan rested his head in his hands to hide his smile. He was truly flattered, and he suddenly realised that this situation was just like what had happened the other day when he'd told Phil that he really wanted to marry him. Phil had gone into full-blown-soppy-cheesy mode, and now the same was happening to him.  
"But who's gonna look after them while we're gone?" Dan said.  
"Maybe your parents could," Phil suggested. "I'm sure they wouldn't mind. Just give them a call and ask. They've met them before."

 

Dan watched his mother intently as she held Charlotte on her lap. He was rather jealous.  
"What's wrong, Dan?" Phil asked.  
"How come," Dan began, "that I've been looking after these pair for over four months and my mum, who has seen them a total of four times, bonds with them instantly?"  
His mother laughed. "It's a lot easier when you've had kids before. You're a dad in training, and there's nothing wrong with that. It gets easier after a while."  
As Dan sulked enviously, Phil decided to change the subject by saying, "Don't worry, you'll only need to take care of them for a couple of days. And we brought everything you'll need." Daisy looked content on Dan's father's lap, almost as if she was going to fall asleep.  
"I hope you have fun," Dan's mum said to the two of them. "You really do deserve a little break. I promise it's no trouble at all!"

 

Phil wasn't used to his family home being so packed. He had quite a large extended family, and was surprised to see so many people hanging around in the kitchen, sat on the sofas chatting, and greeting him at the door.  
When he and Dan had a little time alone, Phil whispered to him, "You do realise my uncles and cousins and everyone don't know that we're more than friends, right?"  
"I forgot about that," Dan said. "But, y'know, I really don't see any reason to hide it. They all seem pretty nice to me." How bad could it be?  
Phil shrugged. "Please, Dan, just act platonic. I know we shouldn't have to, but... I feel like quite a lot of these people have rather outdated views regarding homosexuality and all that."  
Holding hands was a habit, and it wasn't going to be easy having to act like nothing more than best friends for a few hours.  
They headed into the kitchen to get some snacks. Phil watched Dan filling his plate with all kinds of shitty junk food, and felt the need to judge him for it like Dan had judged him while he was pregnant. "You tell me off for not eating healthily enough, and here you are shoving an endless amount of crisps and cakes onto your plate."  
"But I'm at a party," Dan mumbled, his mouth stuffed full of cake. "No one eats healthy at a party."  
"Don't speak with your mouth full," Phil told him. "Jesus, Dan, I can't believe I'm telling you this." He took hold of his arm. "Come on."  
They found a space to sit in the living room, and fortunately, most of the people around them were people who both Dan and Phil were familiar with.  
"It was so kind of your family to have me here, Phil."  
Phil put his arm around him and kissed him, before remembering that they had planned to put on an act while they were here.  
They heard a disapproving voice from across the room and dreaded the worst.


	19. Intolerance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little note that there will be some homophobic remarks/slurs at the beginning of this chapter. These do not reflect my views; I am 100% supportive of the LGBTQ community. <3
> 
> Thank you to all my readers for encouraging me to keep writing and for enjoying this story! :D x

Dan glanced up. Phil was too anxious to make any kind of eye contact, so he stayed put, staring at his lap.  
A middle-aged man - maybe somewhere between 50 and 60 - was staring at them from several metres away, although Dan hadn't actually seen him yet. The room had quietened down a little, and everyone seemed curious about what was going on.  
Dan bit his lip. _How bad could this actually be?_  
Finally the man spoke again, and Dan's eyes met with his. "I'm not tolerating that kind of behaviour," he said abruptly. Dan felt his stomach turn. "And I can imagine you're making everyone else here uncomfortable too."  
Phil's mum stood up and headed over to the man. "How dare you!" she exclaimed. "It's none of your business!"  
"Oh, it is my business," the man said. "Did you just see what they were doing? Fucking queers."  
Phil's mum, brother and dad were absolutely livid. "That's my son and his partner you're talking about," she said angrily. "Leave them alone. They haven't done anything to you." The man just smirked.  
Phil had his head in his hands as they argued. "Hey," Dan whispered to him. "Come on, baby. It's fine. It's just one person. We can leave if you want." Phil peeked at him through his fingers.  
Dan hugged Phil, and asked, "Why is he so angry?"  
Phil hesitated before answering. "Well... I guess he's just ignorant," he shrugged. "Worst part about it is that he's my uncle and that we used to be really close when I was a child. He's never known that I'm gay up until now. I'm actually quite shocked."  
"I promise it'll be alright," Dan told him, taking hold of his hand. "Come on. I know this shouldn't be happening, but we gotta stand up for ourselves. We can hold hands and kiss if we want. Screw that guy. He's a dick."  
"He's my uncle, though. I had no idea he was so intolerant."  
They looked up and listened to what people had to say. Many of Phil's other relatives had joined in now, and it was horrible being in the middle of this sudden argument, feeling like the source of the trouble. He and Dan knew this wasn't their fault. They were just being themselves, doing their thing like any couple should be allowed to at a party.  
"Listen," Phil's dad said, grabbing Phil's uncle by his shirt. "I had no idea you were so damn ignorant. That is _my son_ you're talking about and _your nephew_. He isn't hurting anybody, so just leave them be, and don't say another word to them. We don't need any more hate in this world."  
"Your dad is amazing," Dan giggled, nudging Phil. "What a legend." Dan held his partner's cheek and pressed his lips against his, kissing him passionately, his tongue intertwined with Phil's.  
"I have every right!" the man yelled, pulling away from him. "Did you see them? It's fucking disgusting! Look, look over there, even now - _two men kissing_ \- I can't stand the sight of it." He turned to Dan and Phil. "You better leave before I knock you into next week. Gay scum."  
Phil actually began to cry and Dan held him tighter as the man argued with Phil's relatives. "It's okay, baby, I promise," Dan told him. "Please, try not to let it get to you. Your family is standing up for you and they love you. It's just one person." He nuzzled against Phil's shoulder. "One homophobic is greatly outweighed by the rest of these people here, who are all tolerant of it."

 

Phil had wanted to appear stronger, to show that he wasn't going to let an idiot like that dictate his life, but he and Dan just had to leave.  
They sat together on a wooden bench in the park. "I feel horrible," Phil told Dan. "We were going to stay the night and everything. I'm really sorry about that, Dan."  
"Don't apologise," Dan said. "We're the innocent ones. This is freaking 2018. That man is stuck in the past. He's also a twat."  
"I agree," Phil said reluctantly. "It's just, uh, you know. He used to see me a lot when I was a child and I loved him. Guess he hates me now."  
Dan squeezed his hand. "I don't think this will happen again, Phil. Most people are well-educated nowadays. He was just a one-off."  
Phil sighed. "What are we going to do now? They arranged for us to stay the night and leave early in the afternoon the next day, then give us a lift home. London is miles away from here."  
"We can take a train," Dan said. "There's a train station within walking distance, although it'll take about half an hour to get there. We'll be fine, I swear. We'll get home today, and then tomorrow we'll go to my place and pick up the girls. Taxi both ways."  
"This has ruined everything," Phil said, sadly. "This has ruined absolutely fucking everything, Dan."  
Dan was surprised. "Phil? You don't usually swear at all."  
"I'm just really upset, bear. That's all."  
"I know." Dan leaned into Phil, inhaling that warm, comforting scent - he smelled like warm toast, fluffy cotton towels, and home. Phil opened the front of his jacket and Dan scooted right over, almost on his lap, his head against his chest as Phil enveloped him in his warm arms. Dan could faintly hear his heart beating.

 

Dan knocked on the door, and a minute later, his mother answered it. "Hi!" she said. "They've been very good."  
"Aw, I'm glad," Dan said, wiping his feet on the doormat.  
He and Phil entered the living room. Charlotte was currently asleep in the travel cot that had been set up in one of the bedrooms, but Daisy was in the living room, being fed by her granddad - Dan's father.  
"They really took a shine to you guys," Phil said. "Sorry we're a little earlier than planned. Something came up yesterday and we had to leave the family gathering thing I was invited to."  
"Oh no, what happened?" Dan's mother asked.  
"Well, as it turns out, a relative of mine is very homophobic," Phil explained. "He was really rude towards us yesterday and this big argument just sparked out of nowhere. We were getting stressed, and it was just too much, so we had to leave. Fortunately, the rest of my family stood up for us."  
"That's awful," Dan's mother said, upset. "So ignorant and sad. So you didn't stay the night after all?"  
Dan shook his head. "Nope. And it looks like Phil's lost all respect for his uncle."  
"I'm not surprised," Dan's mother replied. "I'm so sorry to hear about that, guys. I hope it doesn't happen again. You don't deserve to be treated like that at all."

 

2017 and 2018 had been two very significant years so far, for the both of them - pregnancy, birth, coming out to their followers, and the rest of Phil's family finding out that they were dating.  
They began to wonder if this was what they really wanted - of course they were glad they'd had children, but it was the coming out part that still scared them, even though they'd already done it. Their followers had taken it very well and many of them had actually been delighted that they'd revealed phan to be canon. It was their experience the previous week that was concerning them - that man had been so nasty, insulting them and trying to pick some kind of fight just because his views went against the majority.  
Just before the man had started on them, six significant words had been in Dan's head: _How bad could this actually be?_ Well, this time, the answer was: _very bad._  
"You know, Phil," Dan called, snapping out of his daydream. "I've been wondering. How bad could life be?"  
"Life in general? That's very pessimistic," Phil asked. "Maybe you should ask instead: How _good_ could it be?"  
"I've lost a bit of my faith in humanity ever since that homophobic encounter last week. Whenever I'm unsure of what's happening next, I always think, _how bad could it be?_ And, you know, I can't tell if I'm implying that things will turn out really bad, or if they'll turn out good because they can't possibly be that bad."  
Phil lowered his eyebrows. "What?"  
Dan shook his head. "Never mind. I'm just being deep and philosophical."  
Daisy began to cry. "Hold on a second," Phil said. "I think she's a bit cold. I'll fetch her blanket."  
Dan watched over Daisy while he was gone, and smiled. When he saw his daughters, saw that they were happy and healthy and doing well, he never worried about how bad his life could get. All he thought about was the goodness that the future held, things to look forward to, like marriage, seeing his children grow up and moving into a proper house.  
Screw the homophobes. Screw the haters, the Internet trolls, the bullies, the snobs, everyone who gave them undeserved grief. _Phil and I are good people. I shouldn't have to constantly question how bad everything could get. I have a family, I have lots of money, I have millions of fans, and I'm healthy and safe. The only thing I should be asking is how good everything could get._


	20. Morning Wood

Not a sound could be heard.  
Dan sat up, surprised to see Phil laying next to him before remembering that the pair of them had gotten a little busy in bed last night.  
The sky was a very dim blue, covered in clouds. The orange glow of the streetlights was reflected on the wet ground. It had been snowing heavily for the past couple of days, although most of it had either melted or just turned to brown slush now.  
Dan checked the time on his phone. 6:42am.  
"Hey," he whispered, gently shaking Phil.  
Phil woke up and gazed at Dan's face. He looked bleary.  
Then he laughed and reached over to Dan, twiddling his brown curls. "Bed head."  
"It's not my fault," Dan told him. "I shift around a lot in my sleep, and I always wake up looking terrible." He pushed the duvet off of his body and stood up, before realising that he could feel the cool air in places that were usually kept covered. He got back into bed. "Shit. I'm stark naked."  
Phil lifted up the blanket and peered underneath. "So am I." Then he snuggled right up to Dan, the two of them basking in eachother's body heat. "All the more reason to stay in bed, then."  
"I guess it _is_ a little too early," Dan said, sleepily. "Are Charlotte and Daisy okay?"  
"They are," Phil replied. "Sleeping soundly. You know, I can't wait to decorate their room properly. It's kind of boring at the moment."  
"Mmm," Dan responded, his eyes switching between gazing at Phil's face and his huge boner that was visible from under the duvet.  
"What?" Phil asked, before looking down. "Oh." He bit his lip nervously. "Morning wood, I guess."  
Dan chuckled. "No need to be embarrassed, baby. I'll help you sort it out if you want."

 

Phil was a lot more anxious than he knew he should have been. "You actually have more control this way," Dan said. "Come on. I promise it'll be fine. We can stop if you don't like it. How bad could it be?"  
"I know," Phil said. "Here. Let me put this on you." He pushed the duvet back ever so slightly and rolled the condom onto Dan's cock. "You feel so warm. And hard."  
"I'll be even warmer in a minute," Dan smiled. He was sitting up in bed, his butt leaning against his black checked pillow.  
Phil climbed on top of him, his legs wrapped around Dan's waist. Dan leaned his head forward, admiring Phil's face. "You're a beautiful man," he said softly, cupping his chin with his hand. "So beautiful. You're an angel."  
Phil blushed, feeling flattered.  
Dan reached forward and lined his solid cock up with Phil's entrance, allowing Phil to lower himself onto it. Dan gave a sigh of pleasure as he felt himself sinking inside his partner, his tight walls around his cock.  
Phil began to ride him, panting as he felt Dan's hard cock hitting his prostate, gently sliding into him, then out again, with ease. They were going slow because Phil wasn't used to this position and he was a little nervous, but _jesus_ , was he enjoying it.  
"Oh, baby," Dan moaned, running his fingers through Phil's dark hair as he felt himself gliding into him once again. "Fuck, _yes,_ you're so good at this, you little angel." The duvet was pretty much covering the both of them, providing a layer of warmth between them and the mattress that creaked slightly beneath them as a result of their movements.  
Phil leaned into Dan, who cuddled him as he thrusted his hips upward and went even deeper inside him, causing him to give another moan from the sudden increase in pleasure. He began to caress Phil's butt, gently pinching and squeezing his cheeks as he fucked him, rubbing his back and pressing into his skin.  
"Yes," Phil moaned, never wanting it to stop. "That feels so good, Dan. My _god_."  
Dan squeezed him a little harder and Phil gave a gasp of enjoyment. "I want to make you feel good, Phil."

 

The sun was way too bright for March. It shone through the blinds and directly into his eyes.  
Phil sat up, and suddenly became aware of the sharp pain from within him. "Oww," he groaned, looking around him. 1:22pm.  
He remembered when he and Dan were stretching him out while he was pregnant in the hopes that it would make it hurt less while he was in labour. Maybe it had made a difference, but he couldn't tell. It was still extremely painful, and even now, sex sometimes still hurt the next day when Dan got rough.  
He could hear Dan speaking softly from another room, obviously talking to either Charlotte or Daisy.  
He knelt on top of Dan's bed and rubbed his sore ass before remembering that he and Dan had gone hard twice in the span of about 8 hours. Phil had fallen asleep straight after orgasm, yet Dan had stayed awake, looking after the babies.  
_He's a good man_ , Phil thought.  
He got up off of the bed and got dressed, and as soon as he left the room, he was greeted with something adorable.  
"Adadadadadada!"  
He turned to see Daisy sat on Dan's lap, grinning and thrashing her arms about with excitement as soon as she saw him entering the room.  
"Is she trying to say "daddy"?" Phil asked, laughing. She sounded so funny.  
"I'm not too sure," Dan replied. "I'm just proud she's getting the sounds right. I can't wait until she says her first word."  
Dan stroked her head, his fingers flattening her wispy ginger curls. "What do you reckon her first word will be?"  
"Probably "daddy" or "papa"," said Phil. "That's what we keep saying to her."  
Daisy turned her head towards Charlotte, who was currently sat in a small play gym. The babies absolutely loved it, but Phil was kind of annoyed that he'd been given it on his birthday, because the gift really wasn't for him at all considering it was for babies. Sure, it was great for Daisy and Charlotte, but he'd assumed his presents would have been for him.  
Phil gave a little yawn. “Have I really been asleep all morning? What a waste of time.”  
“Obviously you needed it,” Dan said. “Think about how much babies sleep. They’re always tired because they’re growing and learning at an incredible rate.” He winked at Phil and said, “You probably needed a rest from that little… workout.”

 

She wasn’t quite ready for him to move the cushions yet. They were still there for support, and just in case she fell over.  
Dan placed Daisy’s favourite toy in front of her, her legs on the floor in a V-shape.  
“I think she’s actually doing it!” he said. “She’s sitting up without me having to-“ He spoke too soon, because then she lost her balance, and Dan placed the cushion behind her. “I think a little more practice is needed.”  
“She’s getting there,” Phil said. “Getting stronger. I think Charlotte’s on the verge of mastering it too.”  
Dan gently lifted Daisy up. “Come on, up you get,” he said, and she looked at him with her big blue eyes and blew a raspberry at him.  
He laughed, and so did Phil. “Oh, gosh,” Dan giggled. “She’s getting sassy! That’s the first time she’s done that. So cute.”  
“I think she actually knows what makes us laugh,” said Phil. “She likes hearing us laugh because she probably perceives it as some form of praise, so she’s trying to learn what makes us laugh so that she can hear us do it more often. Kind of like a reinforcement sort of thing."

 

They were currently just over 5 months old. Having snow in March had been unexpected, but it was quite pleasant at the time, seeing the whole of London covered in a pristine white blanket. It was a shame it had all melted.  
"Hey, look, she's doing it now!" Dan said. Daisy was sat up on her own without support, playing with her favourite colourful fabric dice. "Gosh, she's doing so well. I can't believe how fast the time is going, Phil."  
Phil nodded sleepily, puzzled as to how he could possibly still be tired after having all that sleep.  
"I was in a fair bit of pain earlier, Dan," Phil said, before taking a sip out of his coffee. He was drinking out of a cup with the word "daddy" printed on it, and Dan was never sure whether to find it cute or disturbing.  
"Was it... too rough?" Dan asked, quietly.  
"It didn't feel too rough at the time," Phil replied. "I mean, _geez,_ it felt beautiful. It's usually the next day or a few hours later. I don't know, bear. Maybe I'm just sensitive."  
"I'm at a conflict," Dan said. "Because you usually want me to go slow at first so it doesn't hurt, and then when you've gotten used to it, you wanna go fast. But then you end up feeling sore the next day."  
Phil had to try not to laugh, kind of embarrassed about the awkward conversation. "Next time we'll just go slow. It's still nice like that. Like I said, I'm probably just sensitive."  
Dan smiled a little. "Remember when we were, um, trying for them?" he asked, gesturing to Charlotte and Daisy who were just across the room. "Remember when you kept saying how you couldn't walk for a week last time, and I kept reassuring you because you were nervous? I can't believe that's over a year ago now."  
Phil cast his mind back to before he got pregnant. "My god, that seems like five minutes ago. We've come so far in such a short space of time." He leaned over to Dan and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you so much for being such a huge part of my life, bear."  
Charlotte suddenly made a noise. "Bahbarbarbahba," she babbled, straight after Phil had said "bear".  
"I think she likes that word!" Phil said, grinning with excitement. "Gosh, it's so freaking cute when they make those noises."

 

Phil scrolled through the videos on their gaming channel. "Great," he grumbled. "We haven't made a gaming video in ages and we've lost over 3000 subscribers."  
"That isn't bad at all," Dan told him. "We've got over two million. I'll make some on my own if you want me to. We really can't make them together at the moment, unless we film them at night while they're asleep. They usually sleep through the night now."  
Phil took another sip out of his cup that had the word "daddy" on it. Dan shuddered.  
"We're making a new Sims video tonight, whether we want to or not. People are gonna think we're inactive. We'll just make it while the girls are asleep," said Phil.  
"When do we start weaning them onto solids?"  
"Give it another month. Some people do it now, but six months is usually considered the best age."  
"Aw, imagine when they learn to feed themselves!" Dan squealed. "That'll be so cute." Then he added, "And... messy." He wandered over to Charlotte and picked her up. "I bet you're fed up of having to live off of the same substance for five months."  
Just when he least expected it, she reached up and wrapped her little arms around her dad's neck, holding onto him while he held her.


	21. Teething

Poor little Daisy had been in quite a lot of pain all day. Her left cheek was a little flushed and she was drooling, as well as biting onto things a lot more than usual.  
Charlotte had been experiencing some of the same things as her sister, but a little milder.  
"Are you sure it could be their teeth coming through?" Dan asked. "It seems rather early."  
Phil continued scrubbing the cutlery and a plate before answering, then placed them on the drying rack. "It usually starts between 3 and 6 months, so it's normal. They won't actually show for a while," he said. "They're just growing. It hurts because they have to push out through her gums." His slippery hands dropped a plate and it crashed onto the counter, smashing into pieces. "Fuck! Dan, get me the dust-pan and brush."  
Dan glared at him. "Phil! No swearing."  
"So it's ok for _you_ to swear?"  
"Not infront of those two, it isn't."  
"Hurry up and get the fucking brush!"  
Dan groaned extremely loudly and started delving through the cupboards before passing him the brush.  
Phil gave a little noise of pain. "Can you sweep up for me? I've cut my finger," he complained, as Dan swept up the sharp pieces. "Everything's suddenly gone wrong in the space of 2 minutes."  
Daisy began to cry.  
"Great!" Phil grumbled. "You go see what's wrong with her and just leave the tidying up for now. My hand's covered in blood. Where're the plasters?"  
"In a green first-aid box in that cupboard," Dan replied, gesturing to it before rushing over to Daisy. "Over there."  
Just as Dan left the room and Phil began to root around in the box, he smelled an alarming burning smell and turned around.  
"Dan!" he shouted, furious and very stressed. "You forgot about the toast!" He ran over just as the bread popped up, completely black. It smelled awful.  
"Shit," he hissed, his bleeding finger dripping onto the counter. He ran and grabbed some kitchen roll to wrap around it before pulling the burnt toast out of the toaster. It was so hot that it almost burnt his fingers.  
"I won't be long," Dan called from the living room. Yes, Phil was in a spot of bother, but how bad could it really be?  
As soon as everything was under control, Phil leaned against the counter and sighed.  
Today had been a bad day, for six reasons:

1\. Charlotte and Daisy had been wailing and dribbling everywhere all day.  
2\. Dan had received a copyright strike on YouTube.  
3\. Charlotte had been too rough with one of her toys and broke it.  
4\. Phil had broken one of the chairs in the gaming room again.  
5\. Another stupid YouTube glitch had robbed Phil of nearly 23,000 subscribers.  
6\. And now, everything was going wrong in the kitchen.

Dan came back in, holding Daisy. "She feels a bit better now," he said. "I put a little teething gel on her gums and it worked real fast." He sniffed the air. "Sorry about the toast, Phil. I was kind of busy."  
" _You_ were busy?" Phil asked, sarcastically.  
"Yeah, I was. Is everything good now? Did you finish sweeping up?"  
"I did. Talk about domestic chaos."  
"Today has been awful," Dan murmured. With Daisy held securely in his left arm, he wrapped his right arm around Phil, leaning forward to kiss him. They had been together for almost 8 years and yet every kiss between them felt like the first - warm, exciting, tingly, sweet.

 

So far everyone had been enduring a whole week of terrible sleep - Dan and Charlotte were extremely irritable, although Daisy and Phil were coping a little better.  
"When will this end?" Dan complained. "Why can't they sleep through the night like they used to? I'm having to wake up and look after them multiple times every night."  
"Think about it from their point of view," Phil told them. "They have teeth pushing out through their gums. It must be so painful! I'm not moaning about it because I feel sorry for them and want to make them feel better." He kissed the top of Charlotte's head, who was sat on his lap. She kept biting into his thighs, leaving wet mouth marks on his jeans.  
"Charlotte, no," Phil told her, gently pulling her away from his clothes.  
"Their bottom gums are really red," Dan said worriedly. "Is that normal?" Daisy began to cry and he rushed over to her to see what was wrong.  
"It's normal," Phil reassured him. "They're just very sore and tender at the moment. It'll probably be their front bottom teeth that come through first. I don't know if there's a specific order that they appear in, though."  
Dan squeezed a little teething gel onto his clean index finger and gently rubbed it into Daisy's bottom gum, which was bright red and very sore. He was always so amazed at how quickly it began to take effect. A minute later and she had pretty much stopped crying, although she still clung onto Dan for comfort.  
"I can feel a tiny bump inside her gum," Dan told Phil. "Really tiny, but it's there, growing. Geez, I can't wait until they're done teething. They're so _loud_."  
"Don't be like that!" Phil said. "How bad could it be? They can't help it, and they're obviously in pain, so be a bit more compassionate. They're attached to us and they love us. It's our job to try and make it easier for them."  
"I know, it's just... I've been surviving off of a maximum of five hours of sleep a night for the past seven days, and a sleepy Dan is a grumpy Dan."  
"A sleepy Charlotte is a grumpy Charlotte, too," Phil pointed out. "She's been ever so moody recently. Broke one of her toys the other day." He gently pressed his hand against her forehead and the back of her neck. "Feels like she's got a temperature, too. Better keep an eye on her."  
Dan gazed at Phil as he cuddled Charlotte, causing her to smile, feeling safe and happy. "I wish I was a better dad," Dan said quietly, looking at the ground. "You always know what to do, Phil. You're the most perfect father, honestly. Better than me."  
Phil gave a flicker of a smile. "Come sit next to me. Bring Daisy with you."  
"Why?"  
Phil didn't answer, just patted the seat next to him. Dan carried Daisy over and sat beside Phil. The two girls looked at eachother and Daisy stretched her hand out to touch her sister's shoulder. "Nummnumnum," she mumbled.  
"I'm not a better father than you," Phil told him. "Look - you're holding Daisy exactly the same way as I'm holding Charlotte. You give them the same amount of love and care as I do. You feed them, dress them in cute clothes, give them baths and take care of them when they're unhappy."  
"What's your point?"  
"My point is that I don't want you beating yourself up, bear. They'll grow up to love the both of us - it doesn't matter that I know more about parenting, because I can help you out with whatever you're struggling with, and I know you're doing your best." He rested his head on Dan's shoulder. "These two love you so much, Dan. You call me a perfect father, but I believe you are too."  
"Oh, Phil." He squeezed Phil's hand. "You're too kind, baby."  
Dan gently tugged on the sleeve of Daisy's lilac T-shirt. "Doesn't she look so cute today? Aw, look her tiny little shoes! Baby clothes are just so tiny and adorable. I think Charlotte would look great in black, if I'm honest."  
"No," Phil responded, shaking his head. "Don't impose your weird fashion sense onto one of our daughters! She looks great in that cute blue top I bought for her. She'll be a lover of bright colours just like me."  
"I disagree. I think Charlotte will be just like me. She'll be all dark and sarcastic and witty. I think Daisy will be like you, Phil - cheerful, a ray of sunshine with a heart of gold."


	22. Baby Food

"Mmm," Charlotte groaned, rubbing her head against the bottom of her crib.  
"Feeling better today, Charlotte?" Phil asked, gently lifting her up so she was sat with her back against the inside of the crib, staring at him.  
She gave him a little smile and Phil's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh, your teeth! They're here now. I didn't even notice how much they'd come through over the past few days."  
She had two tiny front teeth on her bottom gum, as well as some other small, growing bumps elsewhere in her mouth. She seemed a bit calmer today, although she kept grunting every now and then and making strange faces.  
Phil wandered over to Daisy to see how she was. "Wow, you're looking chipper!" She grinned at him, leaning forward and clinging onto the wooden bars of her crib. Her teeth were growing a bit faster than Charlotte's, and she was back to her old excitable, smiley self. Charlotte was still a bit mopey.  
"I bet you can't wait to eat some proper food," Phil said as he lifted Daisy out of her crib. "You'll be able to soon."  
He knew they were too young to understand, but he loved speaking to them, even if they had no idea what he was talking about. It was the soft, kind tone of his voice that he was using to tell them that he loved them, that he was there to take care of them.  
Charlotte began to wail - quietly at first, then louder, until Phil had to ask his partner for some help. "Dan? Can you take care of Charlotte? I need to go and feed Daisy."  
Dan was surprisingly alert considering he felt absolutely knackered. He came in from his room just as Phil left, looking rather sleepy and worse for the wear.  
"Nice hair," Phil called jokingly. Dan scowled, his eyebrows furrowed, producing two angry lines at the bottom of his forehead. He twisted his finger around a particularly large curl before yawning extremely loudly.  
Charlotte seemed to enjoy the sound and actually stopped crying for a second to listen, but soon began to wail again. "Ah, great," Dan grumbled. "Is it your nappy?" She just looked at him, pouting. He sighed. "Come on, then. Let's get you sorted out."  
Phil grinned to himself as he listened to Dan quietly complaining to himself. Poor Dan. They had _ages_ to go before they'd be able to start potty training them, and even then it was highly unlikely that they'd get it right the first time.  
Daisy looked way too cute today in her fluffy white pyjamas and soft pink socks. Phil held her little foot in his hand, and it always warmed his heart to see how tiny she still was, how delicate and gentle she was. He was so proud - he had given birth to these two beautiful, perfect little humans, and it made him indescribably happy to see them happy and healthy, doing well.

 

Daisy couldn't take her eyes off of what Dan was eating. He sat there munching on some kind of sandwich, and she kept craning her neck to look at him, curious.  
"Do you think we should start weaning her onto solids?" Dan asked, with his mouth full. "She only has to have a little at first, alongside her regular milk."  
"I think she might be ready," Phil said. "I've already bought some ingredients that I can cook into mushy baby food. She can sit up straight and I've seen her making chewing motions with her mouth. She can pick things up and put them towards her mouth, too."  
"What's the best sort of stuff to give her?"  
"Soft fruits and vegetables. Stuff like sweet potatoes and peaches are good. We should ask the paediatrician before starting her on solids."  
Phil looked down onto Charlotte, who was asleep on his lap, sucking her thumb. She gave a little mumble before slowly waking up and stretching her arms out. "I don't think Charlotte's ready just yet," said Phil. "I'm sure she will be soon." She looked up at him with her big brown eyes, nibbling her soggy thumb with her growing teeth. "She looks like you, Dan," Phil pointed out. "Look, even her hair and everything. Exactly the same colour as yours. Maybe Daisy will look like me."  
"Maybe," Dan said softly. "Her hair's redder than your natural colour, but I can see where you're coming from, especially her face. Her eyes look just like yours. Pale blue and absolutely beautiful, with faint freckles around her little nose."

 

"Mmnumyumnumm!" Daisy knew what was coming and seemed very happy about it.  
Dan giggled. "You hungry, Daisy?"  
"She'll only want a tiny bit at first," Phil said. "Watch carefully in case she chokes."  
Daisy reached forward and started dipping her hand into the mushy food in front of her. "No, silly girl," Dan said, trying not to laugh as he took her hand away. "You'll make a mess."  
He raised a spoonful of the cooked fruit to her mouth. She tilted her head back, looking at it, not quite sure. Then, when she decided it looked good enough to eat, she opened her mouth and allowed Dan to spoon the food into her mouth. She began to mash it with her gums. "Mmmm," she burbled.  
"Is that yummy?" Dan asked. She gave him a wide smile, enjoying the taste.  
No mess so far. She didn't even have any on her bib yet.  
"Honestly, it looks really unappetising," Dan said, staring at the mashed up apple.  
"Babies' tastebuds are really sensitive," Phil explained. "They only need plain food at this stage. It probably tastes like heaven to her compared to what she usually has." Dan lifted another spoon to her mouth and she eagerly leant forward this time. "Wow, she's a hungry girl! I wonder when Charlotte will be ready. Probably soon," Phil said.  
"You should probably go check on Charlotte," Dan told him.  
Phil wandered into the girls' room where Charlotte sat up in her crib, looking around. "Looks like you'll need a bigger cot soon!" Phil said, smiling. Charlotte was a little lighter than Daisy, but the two of them had pretty much doubled their birth weight, which was a great sign.  
He imagined what Charlotte would be like when they started her on solids. She'd probably be really apprehensive at first, and then suddenly take to it instantly, grabbing the spoon off of he and Dan whenever they tried to feed her. He laughed internally at the thought.  
Her teeth were still giving her trouble, but she had gotten used to the feeling by now, and wasn't in as much pain as before. Just looking at her face reminded Phil of Dan. She had a dark look about her that hid a pure heart inside her. _She'll grow up to be smart_ , Phil thought. _She'll be smart and cynical just like Dan, but a complete softie beneath the surface._  
_And Daisy? She'll be like me - always giggling and smiling, being optimistic. Eccentric and fun to be around. I can't wait to see our girls grow up into people like us._

 

Dan peeked through the crack in the doorway. "Phil? Are you filming? I need to borrow your-" Then he stopped. "Hey, are you alright? Can I come in?"  
"Sure," Phil replied, not taking his eyes off of the mirror.  
"You look so upset."  
"I kind of am," Phil admitted.  
Dan paused before adding, "Of course you don't have to tell me, but I want you to know that my door is always open to you and that I love you."  
"I know. I love you, Dan. Thank you." He bit his lip, only making eye contact with Dan via his reflection in the mirror. "I can't feel comfortable in my own skin anymore."  
Dan wandered forward and wrapped his arms around Phil's waist. Phil shuddered a little as he ran his hands over his stomach. "Not there. Please." Dan obeyed and moved his hand.  
"What's brought this on? It just seems rather random."  
"I've been like this for ages," Phil said quietly, slowly lifting his top up to reveal his stomach. "I've lost most of the weight I gained while I was pregnant. But look. I hate these... these marks."  
Dan stepped forward, peering at the red stretch marks on Phil's lower stomach. He was skinny, but his skin was loose and soft because of how much it had to stretch while he was pregnant.  
And, to Phil's surprise, Dan knelt in front of him and began to kiss him, all over, pressing his warm, wet lips against his stretch marks. "These don't matter a thing to me, baby."  
Phil gave a tiny smile.  
"I remember when you were upset about your weight gain while you were pregnant," Dan mentioned. "Sorry to bring it up. I know it's a sensitive topic and that you're insecure. I thought you were okay with it now."  
"I'm okay with my weight," Phil said. "I just hate what it's done to my body. It's not just my stomach, either. I have those horrible marks on the inside of my thighs. I just can't stand the way I look."  
"I didn't notice until you told me," Dan said to him. "That's the truth."  
"Only because I'm always covered up now."  
Dan shook his head. "What about, um, the other night? You weren't very... covered up... then." Dan cringed a little, feeling awkward.  
Phil sighed. "Of course you noticed."  
"Honest to god," Dan began, "I didn't. You're attractive. I see you as attractive. A few marks here and there isn't going to change that." He threw his arms around Phil and kissed him. "You gorgeous idiot, you. You don't know how gorgeous you are."  
Phil laughed. "I don't know where I'd be without you, bear."


	23. Body Confidence

Phil gave a little sigh as he ran his fingers over the dark red marks beneath his stomach.  
"I won't touch if you don't want me to," Dan said.  
"No, no, it's fine," Phil insisted. "I just hate the way it looks and feels. That's all. I'm okay with you touching me now." How bad could it be?  
Dan knew that this was normal after pregnancy. Phil knew it was normal, too - but that didn't stop him from hating it.  
_It's not fair,_ he thought. _I've got two beautiful daughters now, and I had to sacrifice my body for it._  
"Let me show you something," Dan said, before removing his clothes. He stayed where he was, right beside Phil who was laying down with his arms behind his head.  
"Don't tell me you're going to try to compare yourself to me, bear."  
"I see no reason not to if it's going to help make you feel better."  
Phil turned his head away, feeling awkward. Dan was naked now, in front of him, exposed. "I don't know why you're showing me," said Phil. "You have a great body. And before you say it, I know I'm slimmer than you and all, but weight certainly isn't everything."  
"Look at me," Dan said. "I want you to look at me and tell me what you see. I'm not afraid to show myself to you."  
Phil looked at him, studying his masculine form, admiring him. "All I feel is attraction."  
Dan hesitated before answering. "You're not taking my flaws into account. Look - see this birth mark here? I even have a little cellulite on the back of my thighs. I have a little pouch of fat on my stomach. I'm not perfect, Phil, and you don't have to be either." He leaned forward and kissed him, allowing Phil to wrap his legs around his waist.  
"Um," Dan began, running his hands along Phil's chest. "Do you want to..."  
"Do I want to what?"  
Dan opened the drawer beside them and slowly lifted out the dark glass bottle. He undid the lid and lifted it up to Phil's face, offering him the beautiful almond scent.  
"I want to," he said softly.  
Dan smiled at him. "Just think, Phil. If I wasn't attracted to you, I don't think I'd want us to be in an intimate relationship."

 

Phil laid back, allowing himself to relax. Allowing his partner to pleasure him, to explore his body - even if he hated it himself.  
_I'm 31 years old and I've recently had two kids and he still wants my body._ He couldn't understand it, but it made him extremely happy all the same.  
"I want to blindfold you," Dan said. "Can I? I just want to try it."  
"Haven't we done this before?" Phil seemed slightly anxious.  
"I don't remember," Dan admitted. "But I swear you'll love it. How bad could it be? Let's just try it. Please."  
"Go ahead." He'd tried to come across as nervous, not wanting to admit that the thought of being blindfolded was actually extremely arousing.  
Dan took his black necktie from his wardrobe and sat beside Phil, before gently lifting his head up to tie the knot on the back of his head.  
Phil gave a little whimper, desperate to be touched. "It's okay," Dan reassured him. "Stay calm, baby." He couldn't see a thing. He was thrilled, butterflies in his stomach that were begging to be tamed by giving him what he so badly wanted.  
"The girls are asleep," Dan reassured him.  
"Obviously," Phil said. "It's pretty late. Of course they're asleep."  
Dan continued admiring Phil's naked body, eyeing him carefully, before reaching for the sweet almond oil a couple metres away. He unscrewed the lid and Phil cocked his head towards it, wondering what was going on. "It's fine," Dan reassured him. "You'll enjoy this." Phil relaxed again, trusting him.  
"Why are you doing this for me? I don't deserve it."  
"That's ridiculous, Phil. You're freaking gorgeous. I can't resist your body." When Phil gave a doubtful expression, Dan added, "You don't have to believe me, but I'm not lying. I've got to do something about the way you see yourself."  
Again, Phil wrapped his legs around Dan's waist, whose hands were coated in the almond oil. Phil could smell its sweet, distinguishable scent as he massaged it into his skin, over his thighs and calves, his hips and just above his crotch.  
Phil sighed with pleasure as Dan caressed him from head to toe, rubbing the oil into the marks on the insides of his thighs and below his stomach, smiling at him even though he couldn't even see. They felt a little bumpy, kind of rough, and looked like thick veins just below the surface of his skin - dark pink and varying in colour intensity.  
"These marks will eventually fade, baby," Dan said softly as he coated his hands in the oil again and travelled upwards, running his hand over his partner's nipples and gently squeezing them, causing him to give a little grunt. He stopped, and heard him exhale before he moved downwards, rubbing the oil just at the base of Phil's cock, causing him to give a little shudder and moan that he couldn't stop.  
"I think it's safe to say that you're big," Dan said, before rubbing his oily hands up and down his length, pleasuring him. "There's nothing about you that anyone could perceive as unattractive, Philip."  
Phil gasped and curled his toes, wondering if the oil was safe to use in such a sensitive area but not really caring because it felt _so_ good. The blindfold made everything so much better. His sense of touch was seemingly amplified, more sensitive. It was just wonderful, hearing Dan's praise as he pleasured him, making his partner feel loved even though he was so insecure about his body after pregnancy.  
Yes, Dan was dominant. But he was also a lover and a carer of his submissive - he loved Phil with a passion, wanted to make him feel like the most beautiful man in the world. He wanted him to submit himself to him, to allow himself to be touched and to hear his moans, but also to care for him, to give him love.  
"Mmm," Phil moaned as Dan gently squeezed his slippery fingers against the tip of his cock. "Please keep going, Dan."  
"I will," said Dan. "Because you deserve it." He wanted to lick him, to taste his beautiful manhood, but the thought of swallowing the oil was very unappealing. "You deserve it, and I can't get enough of your body. You're too freaking beautiful, and I'm gonna make you believe it."  
In contrast to earlier, Phil was so content, so deliriously happy at this moment in time as Dan touched him, showered him with praise and did his best to convince him that he was beautiful. It was passionate, intimate and just really fucking hot. Dan was fucking hot. The way the sweet-smelling oil slid against him was fucking hot.

 

Phil woke up, and initially he thought he had actually wet the bed before realising he'd fallen asleep covered in the oil.  
Dan had clothed him while he was asleep, although couldn't resist stretching out the waistband of his pyjama bottoms and boxers to take another few peeks at his perfect body.  
All Phil could smell was almonds. It reminded him of the scent of Bakewell tarts and marzipan, but less sickly sweet.  
He got out of bed, wide awake but rather uncomfortable, the oil sliding down between his legs, cool and damp on the inside of his pyjamas.  
He entered the kitchen to see Dan feeding Charlotte. "Good girl," he praised as he spooned the food into her mouth, and she mashed it with her gums before swallowing. She seemed to be really enjoying this, because as soon as she'd finished that mouthful, she actually leaned forward and tried to snatch the spoon out of Dan's hand.  
Dan suddenly glanced up, noticing Phil watching in amusement. "Good morning!" he greeted him as he tried to feed Charlotte without her trying to grab the spoon and making a mess everywhere.  
"What a hungry girl," Phil said in surprise. "Seems like she's really worked up an appetite. Can't give her too much at this stage, though."  
"Why is she trying to take the spoon off me? She can't possibly feed herself just yet."  
"Because she's smart and she wants to do it herself."  
"At _this_ age?"  
"Yes," Phil replied. "I'm just worried about her choking or being sick if she eats too fast."  
"How do I get her to stop flicking the food everywhere?" Dan asked, looking helpless as Charlotte pounded her little hands on the table. "I bring the spoon up to her mouth, and then she tries to take it off me. She's too young to do it herself."  
"Just keep trying," Phil said. "We haven't had this problem with Daisy, have we? Charlotte seems a bit more... I don't know, aggressive."  
Dan snorted. "I don't think babies can be aggressive, Phil." He flinched as a piece of avocado landed on his face. "Oh, my god. Please, get me a tissue. I don't think I can do this."  
Phil wandered over to the kitchen roll and almost slipped over before realising that the oil had slipped down his leg, all the way to the bottom of his feet. "Is it the oil?" Dan asked. "You better go take a bath or something."  
"Will you be okay feeding them?" Phil asked apprehensively, while Dan was trying to clean up before Charlotte made any more mess.  
"I'll be fine," Dan replied. "Really. Charlotte's pretty much had enough now, anyway... although it seems like more of the food is on the floor and table than in her stomach." He gave a little laugh as he scooped a chunk of avocado purée off of the floor.

 

Daisy was a little angel. She was a lot easier to feed than Charlotte, and allowed Dan to spoon the food into her mouth without getting it absolutely everywhere.  
"Aww, you're such a good girl," Dan said. The only time feeding her had been a struggle was when they'd tried to give her mashed carrots and she'd absolutely _hated_ the taste. Maybe when she was old enough to try other foods, she'd hate cheese too, just like Phil.  
Charlotte was a fussier eater than Daisy. She much preferred fruits and baby rice over any kinds of vegetables, although she absolutely loved sweet potatoes, probably because of the sweet taste. Daisy had liked everything they'd given her so far other than carrots, which had made her scrunch her face up in disgust.  
"Did you know," Phil said, wandering in with about three towels wrapped around him, "that if you give them lots of carrots and sweet potatoes, they turn orange."  
Dan nearly burst out laughing. "Don't be ridiculous. And why do you have to use so many towels?"  
"Because I'm cold," Phil said, his wet hair dripping everywhere. "And no, I'm not being ridiculous. It's common for babies to turn orange if you give them lots of orange foods. Something to do with too much vitamin A. Look it up."  
Dan sniggered. "Even if it's true, I'm not planning on trying it. Sounds harmful."  
"It's not harmful. They just get an orange tint, which makes them look tanned. Anyone can get it, but babies are more likely to."  
"I'm not doing that," Dan said, cleaning up the surface with a wet wipe. "I'm not having my daughters turning orange."  
Phil started laughing. "Imagine waking up one day to discover that they'd turned orange overnight."  
"No thanks," Dan said. "If they want to get a tan when they're older, they can, but I don't want orange babies. I'm not feeding them sweet potatoes anymore."  
Phil lifted Daisy up, and she reached out towards him, putting her arms around him as he hugged her. "You're a little angel," he said to her.  
"Babadadaba," said Daisy.  
"I don't know what that means, but thank you very much," Phil said. He turned to Dan. "I'd love to know what she's thinking."  
"All babies think about is food and sleep," said Dan.  
"Maybe newborns," Phil said, "but not at this age. They socialise with us and they smile and everything. They're playful. They're bonding with us."  
"Only because we're the ones who feed them," Dan grinned.  
"No," Phil protested. "They love us. They're attached to us and they know who we are. They're clever, Dan. They're a lot more aware than you think they are."


	24. A Little Angst

Daisy had mastered crawling by the time she turned 7 months old. Charlotte had mastered rolling over, but wasn't quite ready to crawl just yet. Sometimes she sat upright and managed to shuffle her bottom along the floor, which was very amusing to watch.  
The both of them responded to their names now. They turned their head whenever they heard Dan or Phil say their names, which was already making everything so much easier because now they knew how to draw their attention.  
"Hey, she loves this," Phil said. He was holding Charlotte upright, supporting her under her arms, balancing her legs on his lap. She seemed to enjoy the feeling of having her weight upon her feet, almost as if she was standing, even though she hadn't reached that milestone just yet.  
Charlotte cooed at him as he raised her higher and then lowered her again, smiling. "Sounds like someone's having fun," Dan noticed. "We should take them outside more often now the weather's a bit warmer. If only we had a garden."  
"Yeah," Phil agreed. "I wish we had a swing seat and a table and everything. That's the only reason living in this apartment sucks."  
"That and the constant drilling noise," Dan grumbled. "What are they even building? They stopped for a while and now they're back again, waking the girls up too early in the morning which in turn wakes _us_ up because they start crying."  
"We'll get used to it again," Phil said. "We should start going out a little more often to get away from it. We've hardly been out anywhere in the past few months."  
"Yeah, I wonder why," Dan said, sounded peeved.  
Phil reached out and touched his shoulder. "Don't be like that," he said. "You were the one who wanted a baby. Of course they tie you down. It's totally worth it."  
"Ba," said Charlotte, joining in.  
"What was that, Charlotte?" Dan asked softly.  
"Ba."  
He looked at Phil helplessly. "I don't know what that means."  
"Of course you don't know what it means. She's just making nonsense vocalisations; she's practicing. It may mean something, but for now, that doesn't matter a thing."  
"Ba," Charlotte said, sounding as if she agreed.  
"She sounds like a little sheep," Dan said. "Baaa!" he bleated, loudly, doing a sheep impression. She began to cry.  
"Now look what you've done!" Phil said. "Surely you know by now that they hate loud noises?"  
"I don't know how else to get her to laugh!"  
"Being loud isn't the way. Just interact with them. Smile at them, hold them, talk to them gently. Assist them when they're playing with their toys. You really should know this by now, Dan."

 

"Weee!" Dan giggled, shifting the pushchair upwards slightly, doing a wheely. Daisy began to laugh, reaching out towards the tall flowers and weeds on the side of the path. She closed her hand around a prickly holly leaf and began to cry.  
"Oh, no," Phil sighed, who had stopped walking, handing Charlotte's pushchair to Dan. "Keep an eye on her while I sort Daisy out." He bent down in front of her and took hold of her hand. "Where did it get you, sweetie?" She had three tiny spots of blood on her palm where the spines had dug into her skin. He took some tissue out of his pocket and dabbed the blood off, holding her until she felt more comfortable and had stopped crying.  
"She's fine, Phil," Dan said impatiently. "Will you hurry up? The shop's closing soon." He gently pushed Charlotte's pushchair back and forth, rocking her because she'd started to whimper.  
Phil kissed Daisy on the top of her head before standing upright again. He turned to Dan. "I know she's fine. It was nothing big, but babies are more sensitive, and the thought of her being in any kind of pain saddens me."  
"It's only a little pain. Everybody feels pain."  
"I care about her," Phil said flatly.  
Dan scowled at him. "Are you serious? You're actually accusing me of not caring about my own kids?"  
Phil was exasperated, wishing they weren't out in public. "Who said I was accusing you of anything?"  
"It's just the way you said "I care about her". You emphasised the "I", implying that you care and I don't."  
Phil took a while to answer. He was frustrated, confused as to how Dan had jumped to this conclusion. "Whatever you say," he finally replied. "I don't want to argue."  
Dan remained silent and they carried on walking, pushing Charlotte and Daisy in their pushchairs. The girls were so fascinated by the outside world and everything it had to offer - a blue sky, the scent of mown grass, sweet birdsong, colourful flowers and the crunching of gravel underfoot. It was all still quite new to them.  
"Um, Phil? I care about them, you know."  
"I know," said Phil. "Who said you didn't?"  
Dan bit down on his tongue, hard. He felt a slight pressure inside him, and he had the urge to inflict it upon something as a method of release. Instead of resorting to violence, he simply clenched his fists.  
"It's the way you said it," Dan said in a low voice. "You sounded really... I don't know, full of yourself. Snobbish."  
Phil scoffed. "Are you serious? Are you actually kidding?"  
Dan looked at him blankly. The heat rose inside him once again.  
"Me? A snob?" Phil laughed uneasily before playfully hitting Dan's shoulder. "Come on, let's stop this crap. We've got things to do."  
When Phil turned away from him, he scrunched up his nose, his hands tightly gripping the handlebar on Daisy's pushchair. He heard her cough, and for some reason it really irritated him. He was full to the brim with angst. Arguments with Phil really tested his patience, along with his ability to keep his cool.

 

"Dan, you need to change her! I can't leave this spaghetti to boil over," Phil called from the kitchen, feeling like a real slave.  
Dan gave a very loud, very unnecessary groan. He wasn't happy. He hadn't been happy at all today, or yesterday, either.  
Then, as Phil was stirring the pasta, he had an idea. "Hey, Dan! If you _really_ cared about them, you'd change her right away so she doesn't get a rash on her butt."  
"Don't start this bullcrap again!" Dan responded, his voice muffled against a sofa cushion. "I'm not fucking doing it. I'm tired and annoyed. Fuck you."  
Phil's eyes widened in surprise. Giving up to his partner's moodiness, he took the food off the boil and scooped Charlotte up, taking her to the bathroom. "Hey, Dan," he repeated. This was his chance to _really_ annoy him. "If you _really_ cared about them, you wouldn't be such a bad influence by swearing around them."  
Dan thrusted his head against the armrest, feeling frustrated. _Why does every single little thing make me want to punch somebody?_  
He remembered when he and Phil had actually been arguing about who cared the most about their children the other day, which was absolutely ridiculous.  
When Phil returned with a much happier looking Charlotte, Dan glanced up at him and gazed at his face for atleast ten seconds. _He's fucking beautiful,_ he thought, before clenching his fists and toes. _I love him, but seeing him like this makes me angry, and I can't understand why. Nothing's out of the ordinary._  
The black-haired man just smiled at him before returning to the kitchen and the food he was cooking.  
The idea of jealousy came to mind, but Dan was aware he really had nothing to be jealous of when it came to Phil. No, they were both attractive, young men with plenty of money and plenty of success, and it was nothing to do with subscriber count, because he actually had quite a lot more than Phil.  
Phil was a ray of sunshine. He was unique and irreplaceable, and absolutely wonderful - he was great with their children and charmed everyone who crossed his path. There was something so attractive and desirable about him, but Dan couldn't put his finger on it, and it was making him _so_ mad.  
He loved him. His love for him was greater than physics would allow. Sometimes Dan wondered if he loved him a little too much, but that was inevitable considering Phil was literally an angel. Something about him was making him so angry, so frustrated, so bitter. He was just so perfect. Perfect for him, perfect for his children, perfect for his fans and his family.  
Dan thought Phil Lester was too goddamn perfect, and it was bothering him. It was bothering him tremendously.


	25. Engagement

Dan glanced down at his dark-haired daughter, who he held in his warm, strong arms. She stared at him, not breaking eye contact, tugging at his long black sleeve.  
He looked at her face and suddenly broke down. "I'm sorry," he whispered, holding her tightly. "I promise I'm going to be better from now on. I know you're hungry. I'll feed you, and I won't complain." He sniffed. He loved them so much.  
Unbeknownst to Dan, Phil was watching him from the top of the stairs and smiling. _Good,_ he thought. _He understands._  
He and Dan had been rather distant from eachother for the past week. Phil knew that Dan was holding onto some kind of insecurity that he hadn't been willing to tell him about, but he was almost certain that it was something to do with parenting, and feeling inadequate.  
"Hey, bear."  
Dan looked up to see Phil staring at him, his cheeks slightly flushed.  
"What do you want?"  
"If there's anything you want to talk about, I'm here. You know that, right? My door's always open to you."  
Dan hesitated, looking extremely uncomfortable. "There's nothing wrong. Leave me alone already." He felt so angry, so pissed for virtually no reason whatsoever other than the fact that Phil was too goddamn nice to him, all of the time.  
Phil wandered down the steps just as Dan tried to get away. He took hold of his wrist and leaned over, kissing him, pushing his tongue into his mouth. Dan was so taken aback that he almost dropped Charlotte. "You idiot!" he snapped. "Now's not the time."  
Phil wouldn't let him go. "I love you so goddamn much, bear." He sniffed and added, "Why are you so bitter?"  
"Let me put Charlotte down where she's safe and I'll spill everything out to you."

 

 _This is awkward,_ he thought.  
The two were sat on Phil's green and blue bedsheets in silence, Phil tapping his foot on the floor purely because he had no idea how to break the silence and couldn't bear the awkwardness of it all.  
"So are you gonna tell me what's been going on?" Phil felt like he was stepping on eggshells.  
Dan cringed. "I've been treating you like shit for the past week, Phil. God, I'm so sorry."  
"That's not what's concerning me. I'm concerned because you've seemed deeply unhappy ever since our little falling-out."  
Dan began to cry. These weren't silent tears that you could hardly even notice. He was full on sobbing and gasping, clutching at Phil's clothes, burying his head in his lap as the hot tears spilled out onto his skin and Phil's jeans.  
"I've fucking hated myself recently, Phil."  
"Oh, bear," Phil said softly, stroking Dan's wispy curls. He had to remember that Dan was an envious, angsty boy who struggled to cope with people who were just too loving.  
"I love you, Phil, I really do. I'm just sad, because your heart is so pure and I can be a real dick sometimes, even towards the girls... I know you don't mean to, but you make me feel so inadequate."  
"I'm so sorry, baby," Phil whispered as Dan clenched his fists.  
"You're better than me. You know everything. And you didn't drop out of fucking uni like I did. You've got a masters degree and a Bachelor of Arts. I'm mad because I'm not you, and it's all I can think about." He wiped his eyes. "Even Daisy and Charlotte prefer you over me. Remember when Daisy hurt her hand and I kept saying she was fine? That's my problem. You're a better father. You're a better everything."  
"No, no," Phil urged, desperate to convince his partner of his worth and ability. "No, come on, Dan. None of this is true-"  
"Yes, it is!" Dan yelled, sitting upright. "And I couldn't give a toss about what you say about me being more successful and all that. I don't care. I'm angry because you're too perfect and I just love you, and..." His voice trailed off into a little whine.  
Phil grabbed him and kissed him. He kissed him again, and again, and again until he'd stopped crying, until both of their mouths were numb and red around the lips.  
"Screw it. We're getting married, Dan."

 

Dan didn't care that he had to deal with Daisy getting food everywhere whenever he tried to feed her. He didn't mind being woken up at 5am because somebody needed their nappy changing. He didn't mind doing any task he had to do, because they were his children, his flesh and blood, his life.  
"Ahh, you little cutie," he laughed as he spooned the food into Charlotte's mouth, not caring about the mess. It could be cleaned up, and she was a happy, healthy little girl, which was all that mattered.  
Phil held his phone against his ear, a smile on his face that he simply couldn't control. He heard his mother pick up from the other side. "Hello?" she spoke.  
"Hey, it's Phil," he responded, his voice a little shaky. "Got some pretty good news."  
"Getting married?"  
His smile turned into a huge, dopey grin. "Wow, mum. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that you guessed."  
He heard her laugh. "My gosh, that's so wonderful! When did you propose? Or did _he_ propose?"  
"Oh, nobody really proposed," Phil explained, his heart pounding. "We've wanted to for ages but have been holding it off because everything's been expensive at the moment. We just thought, _Sod it, it's what we want to do, and we've got the money_." He took a deep breath and added, "Admittedly, Dan's been feeling a little down recently, so we figured getting married would help bring everything back together again."  
She sounded ecstatic. "I am so proud of you, child. You have no idea."  
Phil gave a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of his head as he stared at the ceiling. "Oh, mum," he chuckled. "I'm not a child. Thanks anyway."  
"To me, you'll always be my child. And one day, you'll be saying the same to Charlotte and Daisy!"  
Phil felt a unique warmth within him and couldn't help but grin again. "I'm so glad you're happy for us, mum. I love you so much. See you soon."  
"I love you too. See you, Phil!"  
He ended the call and breathed a sigh of relief, feeling so much better after calling her. She was so lovely, and Phil figured that maybe she was the one he'd gotten his own charming personality from, since others always told him he was a little ray of sunshine.

 

Dan scrolled through the list of contacts on his phone. He always joked to his audience about having no friends - other than his partner, of course - but that was all part of the branding. It took him ages to scroll through them all.  
"I'm not telling him," Phil said to Dan.  
"Not telling _who_?"  
"You know. Remember that man?"  
Dan's eyes suddenly widened. "Oh! Him? Your uncle? You didn't have to be so vague."  
"I know, but I hate to think of him. He's a bastard."  
"Don't invite him to the wedding. You need to cut him out of your life for good."  
Phil looked uncomfortable. "I understand that his behaviour towards us was awful, but can't I give him a second chance?"  
"A second chance?" Dan asked, looking surprised. "He's a homophobe, Phil. He's not going to change. He hates us because we're gay, and for no reason other than that. Just forget about him."  
"He's blood related to me, Dan. And homophobes can change. I have a couple former classmates who used to pick on me for being gay. They're entirely different people now."  
"The difference is," Dan began, "that your uncle is about 50. He's set in his ways." He cupped Phil's chin and said, "We're the innocent ones, baby. You're a homosexual. He can't stand homosexuals for no reason other than the fact that he's a dick. If we let people like that into our lives, we're setting ourselves up for disaster."  
Phil gently nodded. Deep down he agreed.  
"And you seem to be forgetting that we're getting _married_ , Phil. What's he going to think of that?"  
"I want him to be proud," Phil said, almost crying.  
"Hey, hey," Dan whispered, running his fingers through Phil's soft black hair. "I know you do, and so do I. I wish he was more tolerant, but there's really nothing we can do. Besides, he's in the minority. Everyone else we're inviting will be overjoyed to see us."  
Dan's fingers tickled Phil's scalp and neck, causing him to shudder. Just the other day, it had been Dan who was feeling down and needing support. It was going from one load of angst to another.  
"I'll stand up to him," Phil suddenly declared. "I don't care anymore. I don't care about him. We've got everything we need."  
"That's the spirit!" Dan encouraged, smiling.  
"We have a family now," Phil said bravely. "We have a home, plenty of money and two gorgeous baby daughters. It's all coming together. Screw the homophobes. We'll get married and we'll have our own happy ending, even if we aren't what some would consider a conventional couple."  
Dan squeezed him tightly. "I fucking love you, Philip."

 

Informing everyone of the news had taken ages.  
They were excited to make the arrangements. Phil planned on purchasing the engagement rings today.  
"She just loves banana," Dan said, as Daisy took another huge bite. "And have you heard the noises she's making? It almost sounds like she's talking!"  
"Mmanana," Daisy mumbled with her mouth full.  
"Watch you don't choke, sweetie."  
"Did she just say banana?" Phil asked.  
"Not quite. She can put syllables together, but she can't quite pronounce them all correctly as a whole word. Pretty sure she knows what they mean, though."  
"Nanabana!" Daisy suddenly screeched, laughing.  
"My poor ears," Dan complained. "Man, she sure loves food. Takes after the both of us." Daisy scooped a piece of banana up before flattening and molding it with her hands. She seemed to enjoy the texture.  
"Should I be letting her do that?" Dan asked. "I mean, she's having fun, but she's making a mess."  
"Let her be," said Phil. "You only get to be a carefree baby once. Let her enjoy it."  
Dan smiled fondly as he watched her. "I'm feeling a lot better now, you know. I'm sorry for being such an idiot recently."  
Phil didn't say a word. He just showed his love to him with a hug.  
"I sound crazy, but you're so perfect that it makes me angry sometimes. Some days I just wish I was you. I get jealous and insecure, and I know I shouldn't."  
"It's totally okay, bear." He squeezed him tighter.  
"Thank you." Dan cuddled up to him. "I get bitter because I feel like you have more potential as a parent. I'm scared the girls won't even like me."  
"Now you're just being irrational. They absolutely love you. You're always making them laugh. I see huge smiles appear on their faces when you enter the room."


	26. The Diamond Ring

The tiny jewel sparkled brightly in the light and the silver around it had been polished so thoroughly that it almost resembled a small mirror.  
"It's beautiful!" Dan gasped, gazing at it in awe. "My god, Phil! How much did you spend?"  
"That doesn't matter," Phil said. "It's money, Dan. We've got more than enough of it. How bad could it be?"  
Dan grinned. "Not bad at all."  
"Well then, there you go!" Phil smiled. "Pretty, aren't they?"  
"Gorgeous," Dan agreed. "Real diamonds?"  
"Of course! All real. The silver's real, too."  
Dan laughed nervously. "Maybe I don't want to know how much you spent."  
"I swear it's no big deal. You spent a thousand and a half pounds on a pair of shoes from Christian Louboutin! How can you be worrying about these?"  
"You're right," Dan admitted. Phil picked up his own ring and admired the way it gleamed in the light. "I can't wait to wear them," Dan said. "Holy crap, I'm excited."  
"I've already started planning," Phil said. "We've got ages yet. We're shooting for spring next year, right?"  
"That's right. This is going to be so perfect, Phil. Imagine who'll be there - we can invite other YouTubers and our childhood friends and everyone - and imagine the hotel! What will the cake be like? We'll have to pick our clothes soon!" Dan squealed, grinning excitedly. _Bless him,_ Phil thought, smiling at him fondly. _He can't contain his little heart._

 

Daisy rolled around on the soft pink mat on the floor, tightly gripping a donut-shaped toy filled with beads encased in hard plastic that made rather loud rattling sounds whenever she shook it about.  
"Did you hear, Daisy?" Dan giggled, crouching down beside her. "Daddy and Papa are getting married, and you'll be there! Won't it be lovely?"  
"Numnum!" Daisy laughed.  
"You'll be over a year old then. You'll probably be talking."  
"Dababa," Daisy burbled, biting her sleeve.  
"Daddy," Dan encouraged.  
"Dababee."  
He laughed. "Aw, you precious little thing. Well done for trying, Daisy." He hugged her and she started gnawing on his shirt, leaving wet teeth marks, but he didn't mind at all.  
He sat in front of her and, to his surprise, she raised both of her arms in front of him, her palms flat.  
"What does that mean, Daisy?" Dan asked, before realising. "Oh, I know. You want to play pat-a-cake?"  
She leaned forward, trying to press her hands against his, like a double high-five - alas, she lost her balance and fell forward. "Whoops," Dan said, helping her up. "Try that again." She clapped her own hands together and then pressed them against Dan's, who began to join in with her little dance. He could hardly take the cuteness. She was just too adorable.  
"Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man," Dan sang as Daisy began to laugh, having fun. "Bake me a cake as fast as you can. Pat it and prick it and mark it with B, then put it in the oven for baby and me." When he'd finished, she began to clap, giggling.  
_I'm guessing Phil taught her it,_ Dan thought. _It's so freaking cute. She's gonna grow up to be smart._  
He sighed with happiness as he realised that this was the life he wanted - family life, domestic bliss, marriage and a cosy place to live. His concerns and insecurities that had plagued him recently seemed far gone now already, too insignificant to have even happened. He was going to do his best to only look up from now on, view the glass as half full rather than half empty.  
When Charlotte shuffled over to her sister and began to communicate with her, in their own unique, baby-talk way - Dan realised that no matter how bad anything seemed, he always had this wonderful life right behind him that stood out above everything else.  
_I need to stop asking how bad everything could be._  
_Like I've asked myself before, I should ask again: how_ good _could it be?_

 

The only annoying part about having two daughters who were now very adequate crawlers was that it was a lot more difficult to keep them safe, and that they had to keep an eye on them almost constantly.  
"I hate those weird things you keep putting at the top and bottom of the stairs," Dan moaned. "I know it keeps them out, but it keeps me out too!"  
"What, the baby gates? Just climb over," Phil suggested. "Aren't they easy enough to open?"  
"No, they're not! I can't climb over without making a hole in my jeans." He bent over to show him. "Look! Can you see that? My underwear is showing!"  
Phil snorted with laughter. "Just wear sweatpants. They should be easy enough to open anyway."  
"I've ruined about four pairs of jeans from Topman!" Dan growled.  
"It can't be _that_ bad, Daniel. We need to keep them away from the stairs."  
Dan eventually gave in. "I know," he said in a small voice. "I just like to complain, that's all. It's not easy living in a flat that's catered for babies. I'm always tripping over toys, finding random socks everywhere, spilling baby powder all over the place, and now I can't get from room to room."  
"It's worth it," Phil reminded him.  
"What do you mean?"  
"It's worth sacrificing a few things," Phil explained. "They bring so much joy and energy into our lives."  
Dan gave a flicker of a smile. "I know. I love you, Phil. And I love Charlotte and Daisy, too." He squeezed Phil's hand. "I'm starting to love my life."  
"You deserve to," Phil said, kindly. Then he smiled and added, "Even if you've ripped a few pairs of jeans while trying to climb over the baby gates, I'm sure having them around to brighten up our lives is priceless."  
They sat comfortably for a while, and Dan kept poking his finger into the hole in his jeans, sighing. "Are they asleep?" he asked quietly.  
"They are indeed."  
The expression on Dan's face slowly changed into a seductive smirk as he placed his hand on Phil's thigh. "What do you say we have a little... fun?"

 

Phil heard a loud siren rushing past the apartment, which made him jump. Ah, the joys of living in London.  
"You okay?" Dan whispered, sensing that something had startled him.  
"I'm good. It was just that noise."  
It was almost completely dark in their living room, except for the orange street lights that provided a faint glow, reflected off the windows which were covered in raindrops. The window was open ever so slightly, and outside they could hear cars running over the wet roads, skidding through the puddles. Every now and then an impatient driver beeped at the long line of cars in front of them, unable to cope with the traffic congestion that occurred almost constantly in the country's capital.  
"Slow and gentle?" Dan asked Phil, the both of them previously having been distracted by the outside world.  
Phil nodded. "Slow and gentle. Please."  
His eyes were closed, his head resting on a nebula-patterned cushion just below the arm of the sofa, his knees bent and his legs enveloping Dan's body.  
He gave a little gasp as Dan penetrated him, his hand tightening around Dan's. "I love you," Dan said quietly as he gently moved inside him, thrusting just a little, slowly, gently. Beautifully.  
"Mmm," Phil sighed, leaning his head back and bucking upwards slightly as Dan's hard shaft brushed against his insides, hot friction tingling his body from head to toe. "That's good, bear. That's really good."  
It was everything that love should be - passionate, genuine, kind, warm and intimate. Phil smiled as Dan made love to him, quivering slightly whenever he brushed against his prostate. There was no screaming, no hair pulling, no loud moaning. Just gentle, pleasurable sex that neither of them wanted to stop.  
"How does it feel?" Dan asked quietly, gazing at Phil's beautiful, smiling face.  
"I never want you to stop."  
Dan giggled. "I guess that says it all." He focused on the sound of Phil's heavy breathing and noticed that his own short, sharp breaths began to occur in time with his, the two of them intertwined in mind and body, mentally and physically.  
The two of them were completely taken over by the sensations that soared through them, as well as the sound of eachother's breathing, the warmth between their skin, and the gentle shaking of Phil's thighs as he neared orgasm, the sounds of his little pants that occurred with each thrust.  
Phil finally lost it, his fingernails digging into Dan's hand as he continued his rhythm - in and then out, then in again, the perfect pace, working him through his orgasm. Everything suddenly felt very hot for a second and when he gained back his control, he opened his eyes to see Dan gazing at him with a look that signified real love.  
"I love you," Dan said again, wrapping himself around him and breathing in his cosy scent. "I love you. I love you."  
"I love you too," Phil smiled.  
"I love you so much," Dan said, sounding desperate. He was trying to prove some kind of point before realising that Phil would never be able to comprehend how much he loved him because it was unfathomable. Infinite.  
There was no denying that marriage was something that needed to happen as soon as possible.  
Phil nudged him and grinned, "So, Dan, how bad could it be?"  
Dan giggled and replied, "Not bad at all."


	27. First Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little preview:
> 
> "Memories?" Dan asked, sounding confused.  
> "Yes, memories. They're our children, bear!"  
> Daisy cocked her head. "Bear!" she cried.  
> Phil gasped with delight. "Oh my goodness! What did you say, Daisy?"

Phil clicked on the image to enlarge it, and as soon as he saw how beautiful it was, his eyes widened.  
It was _perfect._  
It looked a little like a forest or park, but something about it looked so neat and fancy. There were a few old buildings nearby that looked a little like chapels or castles. He scrolled through some other images of the same venue, but this time ones that had been taken just before a wedding was to be held there, with beautiful chairs and decorations and tables and a white floral arch.  
_Holy macaroni_ , he thought. _It's freaking perfect._  
"Dan!" he called, swivelling round in his chair. "I think I've found it!"  
"You found a good venue?" Dan asked as he wandered into the office and peered at the screen.  
"You like it?" Phil asked. "I knew you wanted one outside, and I think this one's wonderful."  
Dan's eyes lit up. "Jesus. It's gorgeous. That's not gonna be cheap."  
"Don't fret about the price. We'll just have to churn out loads of videos to earn it back," Phil grinned. "How bad could it be? You'd have to be crazy to pass this up. And it's not even far. Pretty sure all the guests can make this."  
"Apart from the poor sods we're inviting over from America and places like that," Dan sighed. "How are _they_ supposed to get here? And why would they want to travel all that way just for a couple days?"  
"It won't just be for a couple of days. We're accommodating everyone," Phil reminded him. "They're our friends, Daniel. They _want_ to come. Do you have any idea how excited Tyler and Connor were when I DMed them on Twitter? They were absolutely thrilled!"  
"I know," said Dan. "I suppose it'll be worth it. I'd feel awful leaving people out."  
"Exactly. Of course they'll go out of their way to come. People like them have been supporting us in our careers ever since day one."  
Dan suddenly stood upright and said, "I'd better go and check on Charlotte in case she's woken up. Is Daisy okay here with you? She's seemed awfully quiet."  
"She's doing great," Phil said, patting Daisy's little head. She had been sat on his lap for the past forty-five minutes, watching him editing videos and researching wedding venues. She was quiet as can be, but seemed happy and content. Every now and then she grabbed one of her favourite toys off of the desk, just next to the computer mouse, and rattled it about as violently as she could, sometimes hitting her dad in the face by accident.  
"I'll see you in a bit, then," Dan called, just about to head downstairs.  
"See you," Phil called after him, and just as he did, he heard the sound of fabric tearing and an angry groan.  
Phil burst out laughing. "Dan, you idiot! Have you done it again?"  
"Yeah," Dan said, vexed. "That's five pairs of jeans I've ruined now! How am I supposed to get past this thing?"  
"Just open the gate."  
"I don't know how to! I wish you'd get rid of them."  
"We can't get rid of the baby gates," said Phil. "They're important. They keep them out of danger. Just wear sweatpants or something."  
Dan gave another groan as he clambered over, not even caring anymore. "Oh, boy," he said. "I can't wait until they're a lot older and we don't have to watch them so much."

 

Phil felt as if he was the one doing all the effort, but he knew it wouldn't be right for him to complain, especially considering he was actually having a lot of fun organising it all. They had plenty of time, anyway.  
"Imagine what these two will be wearing!" Phil giggled, gesturing to Charlotte and Daisy. "They'll look so cute in little dresses!"  
"I think black will suit Charlotte," Dan said.  
"Stop pushing your fashion sense onto them!"  
"I'm not pushing it onto them, Phil. I just think she'll be like me - dark and gloomy and angsty-"  
"She won't be like that at all. She'll be like me. Smiley, always laughing, optimistic... a lover of bright colours."  
"No," Dan disagreed.  
"Yes," Phil insisted.  
"I'm buying her a black dress!" Dan said. "You can't stop me. And yes, I'll be wearing a black suit. Everything will be black - black tables and chairs, black invitation cards, black flowers, black decorations, the whole lot. The girls will both be wearing black! The only thing that won't be black is our wedding rings."  
"Oh, god," Phil grumbled. "You want a gothic wedding? I'm not allowing that. Weddings are associated with the colour white in Western culture."  
"In case you haven't noticed," Dan began, "we are two gay men, so I don't think we'll be wearing white dresses unless you suddenly change your fashion sense."  
Phil burst out laughing. "You donk! I just mean we can't have everything black. Cater to the both of us, and everyone else, too. You can wear black if you want, but I'm wearing grey, and everything else will be absolutely beautiful. White and blue."  
Dan sighed. "If you insist."  
He looked at his two daughters as Phil went back to editing. The two of them had started a new series on their gaming channel recently, and each video was almost an hour long, which took ages to edit. Editing wasn't the problem, though - it was the filming part that wasn't easy, because they could only film while the girls were asleep, safe and sound in their room - and they had to check up on them regularly.  
"You'd look so good in a cute black dress," Dan said softly, lifting his dark-haired daughter onto his lap. Then he turned to Daisy and lifted her up too, the both of them balanced safely on his lap. "And you'd look so pretty in pink."  
Phil turned around, a confused look on his face. "You just said you wanted them both in black! Make your mind up."  
"I've changed my mind," Dan replied. "I mean... she even looks like you, especially the eyes. You're right. She's a little ray of sunshine."  
Dan hugged them both tightly and Daisy giggled. Charlotte turned her head and grinned at him, eager to see him smile back at her.

 

"The only trouble at this stage, bear," Phil said, "is that we have to keep buying so much stuff because they're changing all the time. Physically and mentally."  
"What are we going to do with the clothes they don't need anymore?" Dan asked.  
Daisy suddenly looked up and tried to mimic his words. "Annynore," she burbled.  
" _Anymore_ ," Dan giggled, emphasising the word to help her grasp it a little better. The two of them were 11 and a half months old now.  
"We can take the older clothes to the second hand shop," Phil replied. "I want to keep some, though. For the memories."  
"Memories?" Dan asked, sounding confused.  
"Yes, memories. They're our children, bear!"  
Daisy cocked her head. "Bear!" she cried.  
Phil gasped with delight. "Oh my goodness! What did you say, Daisy?"  
She clapped her hands as if to applaud herself.  
Dan didn't want to admit that he was almost crying with joy. Her first word. Her first word was _bear._  
"Bear," Daisy said, looking straight at Dan.  
_Oh my gosh_ , Dan thought. _She knows it's my nickname because Phil calls me it. Holy crap. This is too much._  
"Good girl!" Phil praised. "Clever girl! Daddy and Papa are so proud of you. Well done."  
"Bear," Dan sobbed. He was a beautiful mess.

 

Charlotte had always been developing just a little bit slower than Daisy, but they were both still perfectly normal and healthy.  
Daisy had learned quite a few words now. Ever since her sudden breakthrough, she'd started picking things up really quickly, realising that now she could pronounce one word correctly, she could pronounce many others too.  
Their first birthday was in just a few days, and Dan and Phil were having a little squabble over what to do about it.  
"Honestly, cake is fine as long as there's no choking hazard," Dan insisted. "They don't have any allergies from what we know. They've tried plenty of foods now."  
"I'm just worried," Phil said, concerned. "It has a lot of sugar, and I don't think it'd be good for them at this age."  
"I promise it's fine!" Dan said. "They don't have to have _loads_. Just _some_. They'll love it. We'll get one without any weird dyes or ingredients that might make them hyper. Just a plain vanilla cake or something."  
"Oh, alright. The problem is, though, we've never really given them any kind of junk food, so it might take some kind of toll on their bodies. They've hardly had any added sugar. What if they love cake so much that they start rejecting their regular food?"  
"Food," Daisy repeated, listening.  
"Don't be ridiculous," Dan said to Phil. "A little cake won't hurt them. They haven't shown signs of allergies to anything we've given them, and I'm sure they'll know somehow that it's just an occasional treat. Don't be so het up."


	28. Birthday Babies

Charlotte wanted to destroy the cake. Dan could see it in her eyes. She was grinning excitedly. "Happy birthday, you two!" Phil said cheerfully.  
They had invited a few close family members round for a little get-together, who clapped from behind them after Phil said happy birthday to his daughters. Much to Dan's frustration, the two girls really seemed to prefer his mother over him, and crawled right over to her whenever she went to visit them.  
Dan glanced up at Phil. "We should have bought two cakes. One for them to play around with, and another for the guests. Look, she really wants to dig into it!"  
"We'll save this one for the guests for now," Phil decided as he sliced it and placed each slice on a pink paper plate with a napkin. "We can always get another one. Or bake our own."  
"Good idea." As Phil lifted another slice, Dan snatched it out of his hands and began to eat it. "Hey!" Phil cried, surprised. "Wow, talk about rude!"  
"It just looked _so good_ ," Dan mumbled, his mouth full. He heard his mother say, "Dan, I taught you better than that!"  
"I know, right?" Phil agreed. "Don't set a bad example. _Ask_ for food, don't just grab it out of people's hands." He finished cutting the cake and said, "We've got plenty, guys. You can always take some home if you want."  
"I love cakes," Dan moaned. He sounded sexually aroused.  
Charlotte reached for a slice. "CAKES!" she shouted.  
Dan, Phil and a few of their relatives laughed. "Oh, man," Phil sniggered, "Is that really her first word?"  
"Her first word was _cakes_ ," Dan laughed, picking her up. "Well done, you! On your birthday, as well. Good girl!"  
She nibbled on the white icing on the outside of the cake's spongy interior. "Mmm," she mumbled, enjoying it. Daisy was watching her as she ate hers, and began to clap as if she was proud of her sister. Maybe she knew that she'd said her first proper word and that it was a huge milestone. Maybe she was congratulating her.  
"Thank you so much for inviting us round," Phil's father said, wandering over to see his two granddaughters. "I'm so happy we got to witness Charlotte's first word! I have a feeling she'll grow up to be real clever."  
"They both will, dad," Phil said, admiring his children proudly. "You know, I was the one who wasn't sure about this whole thing at first, but having these two is the best thing we've ever done."  
"I told you it couldn't be _that_ bad," Dan said, nudging him and smiling.  
"It turned out to be wonderful," Phil said, trying not to cry. The emotions were getting the better of him.

 

Phil glared at Dan. "I told you the cake was a bad idea!"  
Daisy and Charlotte couldn't keep still. They were incredibly giggly and fidgety, knocking things over and getting overexcited. Both Dan and Phil knew it was because of the sugar, but they were sure it'd wear off soon.  
"Do you know how hard it is to take care of them like this?" Phil asked. "Had to give Daisy another bath because she was covered in cake, and she wouldn't stop kicking and splashing the water all over me. They're hyperactive."  
"This won't happen again," Dan reassured him. "They didn't have much, anyway. It shouldn't last too long; they'll calm down soon." He picked up Daisy, holding her close. "You're being a bit wild today, aren't you?"  
"Bear," Daisy said.  
"That's right, Daisy. _I'm_ bear."  
"I'm so happy they've both started talking," Phil said happily. "Charlotte really made me laugh earlier. What are we going to tell her when she's older? "Your first word was "cakes" because it was your birthday and your dad was talking about cakes and you copied him"."  
Dan giggled. "That was funny. Daisy's was so sweet. I was expecting "daddy" or "papa" because they're the words they hear the most. That was a bit of a twist." Then he added, "Just think, Phil - if we'd never bought the cake, Charlotte probably wouldn't have said her first word on her birthday, and it might have been an entirely different word."  
"Probably something more normal, like "papa"," Phil grumbled.  
"Don't be like that. She's like us - delightfully unique!"

 

Phil knew that he'd be better off printing out the wedding invitation cards while Dan was out, lest them getting into another argument about the colour. "Black invitation cards?" Phil muttered to himself. "No way."  
He had discovered a perfect set online, which were printable and customisable, and not too expensive. Another reason he was doing this on his own was because he couldn't trust Dan to not make any typos. The cards were an off-white colour and intricately decorated around the edges, made of thick card with fancy writing in the middle. They had been aiming for sometime in the late spring, but had been told it was a little too soon, especially considering many people remained engaged for up to 16 months. They'd finally settled on an official date for the ceremony - the 19th of July 2019, a Saturday. It was to be held just after lunchtime.  
He kept the guest list beside him and ticked off the names every time he typed out their personalised card. This wasn't exactly a quick job, and it began to get rather tedious.  
Finally he heard the apartment door open and a pair of footsteps clambered up the stairs, along with the sound of plastic bags rubbing against eachother.  
"Phil!" Dan called. "I got the cereal you wanted. So don't go stealing mine, okay?"  
"Okay, I won't," Phil called back, not really meaning it.  
Dan entered the room, sounding out of breath. "What are you doing?" he asked.  
"Printing out some cards. You like them?"  
Dan squinted at the screen. "Not really. They're boring."  
"What do you mean, they're boring? They're gorgeous. Perfect."  
"Bog-standard," Dan insisted.  
"They're just cards, Dan! I _knew_ you'd have a problem with them. That's why I thought I'd sort them out while you weren't here."  
"I guess they'll do," said Dan, giving up. "I'm still wearing a black suit."  
"Black suits are the norm. That's fine."  
Dan left the room, glad he'd been able to conceal his excitement. He was secretly thrilled and thought the wedding just couldn't come soon enough, but he was insistent on hiding his joy from Phil. He'd already succumbed to his emotions way too many times infront of him and now he felt like this was his last chance to preserve his manliness.  
As he returned to the kitchen to put away the rest of the groceries, he thought hard about possible ways he could stop Phil from stealing his cereal like he always did.  
Then he had a fantastic idea, and a cheeky grin spread onto his face as he rummaged through the cupboard under the sink.  
There was a mouse trap they always kept under the sink, although they'd never used it because they felt it was too cruel to catch mice by trapping them in such a painful manner. But that wouldn't stop him doing the same to poor Phil. Phil was always delving through his Crunchy Nut and scooping the dry cereal into his mouth, so maybe if he placed a mouse trap inside the box, he'd get a painful surprise and wouldn't do it again.  
He quickly shoved the box of cereal into the cupboard when he heard Phil heading to the kitchen. "Hey," Phil greeted him, his eyes slightly bloodshot from staring at his laptop for so long.  
"Hey, man."  
"I'm just getting a snack," Phil told him, and Dan had to turn his head to stop him seeing his sly grin. He loved Phil with all his heart and wanted _so badly_ to marry him, but his cereal-stealing was something that really had to stop, and he was sure his naughty little plan would do the trick.


	29. Wedding Planning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for 4000 views! I'm so grateful for everyone who reads, comments and leaves kudos on this phanfic. I wasn't expecting this to be successful! :)

Dan couldn't help laughing at what happened to Phil.  
"Atleast you won't steal my cereal anymore!" Dan laughed. Phil was lying on his bed, looking exasperated, and Daisy was finding it hilarious.  
"My hand is killing me, Dan. That was too far."  
"I'm sorry," Dan apologised, still sniggering. "I'm sorry, baby. You know I love you, right?"  
Phil turned over and looked at him, unable to contain his grin. "Oh, whatever. You're an idiot, but god, I love you."  
"Just think," said Dan. "Once we get married, you'll be putting up with my terrible pranks forever. Remember that time I put the wolf mask on and scared you when you came out of the bathroom? Hilarious."  
"Not hilarious," Phil corrected him. "That was awful. No more pranks. Not for a little while."  
And then, when he was least expecting it, Dan pounced and tackled him in a rough, playful hug, squeezing and cuddling him on the soft bed. It reminded him of all those years ago back in 2009 when they filmed the very first Phil is Not on Fire, except this time it was Dan doing the hug-tackling, not Phil.  
"You've changed so much," Dan suddenly said, softly.  
"I know I have." They were both sharing the same thoughts, reminiscing.  
"Dan," said Daisy. Dan groaned, annoyed that she was calling him by his name. "It's _dad_ ," he corrected her, escaping from Phil's loving arms and lifting her up onto the bed, on his lap.  
Daisy just laughed, clapping her hands as she stared at him. "Dan, Dan, Dan!"  
" _Dada_!" Dan said as Phil laughed, trying to teach her the best way to address him.  
"Oh, bless her. She calls you Dan because she hears me calling you that, and now she thinks it's the right thing to do."  
"Dad," said Daisy.  
"Good girl!" Dan praised, kissing the top of her head. "Well done!"  
"I sure wish Charlotte would say something else other than "cakes" and "biscuit". I guess she's got a sweet tooth, like me," Phil shrugged. "They sure are unusual for first words, don't you think? We need to teach her to say "Dada" and "Papa"."  
"I suppose she will, in time. She'll copy her sister. They'll help eachother learn... how bad could it be?"

 

Charlotte looked around her, and once she realised that the soft carpet wouldn't be too painful to fall over on, she attempted to lift herself up.  
"Nearly," Dan said. "You can do it."  
She looked at him and eventually pushed herself up off the floor. It still felt odd and kind of disorientating for her, just like before, but she was smiling. When she felt more secure, she moved the muscles in her right thigh and took a shaky step forward, before bringing her left leg with it. With her arms out to steady herself, she began to slowly wander forwards.  
She knew this was a good thing, because her parents were always so smiley and proud whenever she did something new.  
"You did it!" Dan cried. "Well done, you! Oh, Charlotte, you're such a clever-" Then she fell over and gave a groan of surprise. "Oh, dear. Let's help you up again." He took hold of her waist and gently pulled her upright until she was standing unaided. She had stood up unaided before, but often fell over soon afterwards.  
"Can you do that again?" Dan asked, just as she attempted another step. "See if you can do it without daddy's help." She completed a few more steps this time. "One... two..." Dan counted. "Three... four... oh, dear!" She'd fallen over again. "You did so well, sweetie!"  
And she knew this. "Yay!" she giggled, shaking her fists.  
Dan hugged her. "You're such a smart girl."

 

Dan smirked and folded his arms, standing back ever so slightly. _Yeah_ , he thought. _That's perfect. The blackest of the black._  
Little did he know that Phil was standing in the doorway, taking a peek. His eyes widened as he took in the beautiful sight before him. Dan was always beautiful, even if he did wear too much black. "You look a real charmer," Phil said warmly.  
Dan gasped, shocked to hear his voice. "Phil! You didn't see me getting dressed, did you?"  
Phil chuckled. "Of course I didn't. Besides, I really don't think it'd matter too much considering it's only me. Just can't take my eyes off you."  
Dan blushed and turned to face him, looking down at his suit, the velvety material gleaming in the light.  
"Why so soon, though?" Phil asked.  
"Why not? Usually I'm the one who prepares last, so I thought I'd make a change. Don't ask about the price, though. Truth is, I got it made especially for me."  
Phil was confused. "How? And how were they so fast?"  
"Don't ask me!" Dan was still blushing, kind of embarrassed and flattered by the way Phil gazed at him. _No wonder they call him love-eyes Lester_ , Dan thought. "Oh, and I also got this, for Charlotte! It's so cute. Imagine her wearing it on the big day!"  
Phil gently picked up the tiny, delicate, black garment. Admittedly, it was cute, and although he didn't always approve of Dan's dark and gloomy style, there was no denying that this was gorgeous. The girls were likely to be walking fairly well by the time of their wedding, so it would be so wonderful for them to stand by their fathers, holding their grandmothers' hands just in case they hadn't quite mastered balancing on their feet properly.  
"Daisy's is white," Dan reassured him. "So you don't need to worry about that."  
"I wish Charlotte's was white too."  
"It's fine!" Dan insisted. "It's all good. The two of them will look great. Like little angels."

 

Ever since they'd began preparing for the wedding, Dan's behaviour had changed, and certainly not in a bad way. He was motivated and wanted everything to be perfect, which was unusual for someone who was infamous for procrastinating and leaving everything to the last minute.  
The nights were beginning to draw in once again, and their two daughters always seemed to be tired at around 5 O'clock just as it was starting to get dark, so they often had a little nap on their fathers' laps because that was the place they felt safest.  
Christmas was less than two weeks away, and when Phil glanced at the date on his phone, it suddenly dawned on him that they were nearing the end of 2018. It had gone so fast, and the twins had grown and changed in so many ways already. They were hardly even babies anymore - more like toddlers, especially considering that they were beginning to walk now.  
Well, kind of.  
They had both taken their first steps, but they frequently fell over, and found it rather difficult to control their direction. But that wasn't really a problem at all, because it was just _so_ cute.  
"Come on, Daisy!" Phil encouraged, standing in front of the sofa as the ginger-haired little girl stumbled towards him, balancing her weight on her legs, a feeling that was still unfamiliar. She got there eventually and Phil lifted her up, a big smile on his proud face. "Wonderful! Well done, princess."  
She giggled as she sat down beside him. Phil looked at her. She was so beautiful, and now that she was 14 months old, her features were really starting to show. She was quite pale, just like Phil, with wispy, curly ginger hair and a few pale freckles that were slowly becoming more pronounced. Her eyes were blue just like Phil's.  
He noticed that her face was a little similar to Charlotte's - they both had Dan's nose and Phil's eyes, although Charlotte's eyes were brown, and she had straight, dark brown hair. He picked Charlotte up and sat her beside her sister, and whenever he did this, he always noticed how not-obvious it was that they were sisters.  
They were twins - unidentical, but still twins - and yet they didn't seem all that alike. But that was no problem. He just hoped they'd get along fine when they were older.

 

"Their first proper Christmas! Shall we tell them about Santa?"  
Dan rolled his eyes. "No, silly. They're too young to understand, and besides, Santa isn't r-"  
"He _is_ real!" Phil cried, genuinely peeved.  
Dan smiled gently. "Oh, Phil. You're so precious."  
"Anyway," Phil continued, "do you think they're excited? Do they know about Christmas? What should we get them?"  
"Whoa, slow down with the questions!" Dan said. "I doubt they know about Christmas at this age. They probably know the word, and they're probably wondering why there's tinsel everywhere and where the big tree came from, but... other than that, I doubt it."  
Phil looked upset. "I just want to buy them some nice things. Even if they don't know that they're presents. I want to get them some really cute plushies. Daisy loves soft toys, and I think she's bored of that cloth dice we got a while ago."  
Dan casually nodded as he reached up, slipping a long piece of tinsel on top of the red mirror in their living room. The room was filled with cardboard boxes, pieces of tinsel, pine tree needles that Phil kept stepping on, and random baubles that were rolling around.  
"Keep them away from that stuff," Dan said. "They put everything in their mouths at this age, and I feel like swallowing tinsel won't be good for them."  
Phil snorted. "You _feel like_ it won't be good for them? Oh, Dan. Of course it won't be good for them. They'll choke." Charlotte, who was sat beside him, gave a whine. "What's up, Lottie?" he asked. "You hungry? You haven't wanted much to eat today."  
"Mmrgh," she vocalised, rubbing her stomach. Then she suddenly said, "Hungry."  
Dan turned around. "New word, huh? I feel like she doesn't know what it means, though."  
"Everything she says is food-related!" Phil noticed.  
Dan laughed. "Relatable. She's just like me."


	30. Christmas Day

Dan looked at the Christmas cracker, then back at Phil. "Let's not pull it now," he decided. "The noise will probably scare them." Phil nodded in agreement.  
"Enjoying your dinner, Charlotte?" Phil asked. She was sat in her high chair, eating the food her parents had prepared for her. "It's lunch," Dan insisted. "It's early afternoon."  
"Whatever you say," Phil replied. "By the way, I think we should show them the dresses we bought. I mean, they won't know it's for them. But it'll be cute to see their reaction."  
"Charlotte will love hers! I'm sure she'll love black."  
"I'm sure she won't!" Phil disagreed. Dan shook his head and sighed before Phil added, "Don't you think this is sweet? Our first Christmas engaged, and their first proper Christmas." He gestured to their daughters.  
"Our first and _only_ Christmas engaged," Dan laughed. "We get married in July, you silly."  
Phil watched the two girls. They were leaning over to eachother, occasionally stopping to giggle or grin or do something else adorable. It was so beautiful to see that they were getting along so well.

 

"They can talk now?" Dan's mother asked, seeming surprised.  
"They can, kind of," Dan replied. Charlotte was sat on his mother's lap and Daisy was sat on his father's. "They know a handful of words, but haven't actually constructed sentences yet, and we're not sure they know what the words actually mean."  
"Which is why we need to cut down on swearing!" Phil chimed in, eyebrows raised. Dan just gave him a look of defiance, but agreed deep down.  
"What were their first words?" Dan's mother asked, smiling.  
Dan hesitated. _Shit,_ he thought. _Daisy's makes me tear up, and Charlotte's is kind of silly._  
"Daisy's was "bear"," Dan said reluctantly, looking at his daughter as he said it. "You know... that thing you guys used to call me. Phil calls me bear now. It has a special meaning. To me, anyway."  
His mother looked at him before wrapping her arms around him and hugging him as tightly as she could. "Oh, Daniel," she said, lovingly rubbing his back. "You'll always be our baby, even if you have babies of your own. You'll always be our little bear."  
"Bear!" said Daisy. Charlotte turned to look at her before repeating, "Bear!" with the exact same intonation.  
Dan sniffed. "I love you guys. You're the best family ever. I couldn't think of anyone better to spend Christmas Day with. You guys, Phil's family, and Phil himself... I couldn't cope without you."  
"Jesus, Dan," Phil said. "Keep that up and I'll be a mess."  
"I'm already a mess," Dan said. "I know this is so cheesy, but I don't know what I'd do without a wonderful family to take care of me. When you guys are around, I feel like a kid again, safe, with no care in the world."  
"Oh, bless," Dan's father chuckled. Charlotte began to giggle, almost as if she was laughing at her father's emotional outburst. Even if Dan could be rough, harsh and sarcastic, he was a gentle little soul who just wanted to love, and be loved in return.  
"I'm too soft," Dan criticised, embarrassed. "I'm a grown man. I'm 28 next year and I'm still like this, ready to break down at any moment because I can't contain my feels."  
"Nobody is too old to cry," his mother said, taking hold of his hand. "Anybody can cry. You're a loving person. You'll cry at the wedding and you'll cry on the girls' first day of school, because that's how you are, inside - a gentle soul. A perfect husband and father."

 

 _Maybe she's right_ , Dan thought, as he picked up one of his presents.  
Today had been perfect. Even as a man in his late twenties, he still got way too excited for Christmas, although he knew himself that it wasn't a bad thing.  
The girls had had a wonderful day too, although they were probably confused as to why they were getting lots of new things and seeing their relatives all of a sudden.  
"Not gonna lie, I'm actually jealous of your suit," Phil admitted sheepishly. "I know I said I'm not keen on black clothes, but it's so beautiful."  
Suddenly Dan remembered something he'd been hiding for a short while, although he wasn't sure if he'd been doing the right thing by hiding it, and decided now was the best time to reveal it. He cleared his throat before saying, "I bought you one, too."  
Phil looked taken aback. "You did? That's a really unusual thing to do, but thank you."  
"I hope I did the right thing," Dan said in a low voice, blushing slightly. "I know this is taking away the whole surprise aspect and all that, but we live together, so there's no point trying to hide it anyway."  
"Please show me!"  
Dan smiled at him. "I'll bring it from my room. I'm sure you'll love it. And if you don't, well... I apologise in advance."  
Phil smiled back. How bad could it be? He was buzzing with warm energy, left over from a day of socialising and joy and a little too much chocolate... and now his fiancé was about to surprise him with something wonderful.  
"I need to be careful not to crease it up too much, but I hope you like it," Dan said, shyly hiding it behind his back before showing him. It was a beautiful, shiny, metallic grey, more like silver - with a cyan-coloured tie and cyan trimming around the collar and sleeves. "It's _amazing_!" Phil said, reaching out to touch it. "And so soft... god, I love this, Dan. I love _you_."  
He gently placed it beside him before Dan grabbed him and pulled him onto the sofa, on his lap, kissing him passionately. Phil let out a tiny gasp each time their lips parted before they were quickly mashed together again, hot and wet and sweet.  
"Fuck," Dan moaned, unable to resist him. "Fuck, I can't get enough of you." Phil tasted of love - warm, delicious, soothing. He smelled of warm toast and soft cotton. Dan needed more, all of the time, but especially now, on this cold Christmas night.  
"Can we..." Phil began, feeling his cheeks redden. "Can we, you know, make some noise?"  
"If you want," Dan grinned. "They're in their rooms fast asleep, if that's what you mean. Doors are shut. They can't hear a thing. Quit worrying about that all the time."  
"Give me the best Christmas present anyone could ever give me."

 

Phil wouldn't stop fidgeting.  
"I'm scared."  
"Don't be," Dan said. "They're fine, trust me. Fast asleep."  
"Okay," Phil replied hesitantly.  
It had been a while. They were even busier nowadays, now that Charlotte and Daisy were growing up so quickly - they required attention and things to occupy them more than ever, which didn't often leave much time for... other things.  
Dan stayed still. The both of them did, Phil resting his head on Dan's chest, their bare bodies transferring heat and comfort to one another. "You okay now?" Dan whispered, tucking a piece of black hair out of Phil's blue eyes.  
"Yeah," he replied softly, nervous but filled with joy. Through his peripheral vision, he saw Dan's hand sliding lower until it rested on his soft, warm ass cheek, gently groping it.  
He'd missed this. A month without Dan's touch had driven him crazy, and using his own hands was never the same, because it was too predictable. And it wasn't Dan. For it to be good, it had to be Dan.  
His other hand had moved downwards now, gripping his cheeks and gently spreading them apart before rubbing against his sensitive hole. Phil gave a tiny moan, and Dan saw this as his cue to carry on, and although he loved to tease him and see him get all flustered, he decided to be nice - especially since it was Christmas.  
Phil exhaled loudly as his lover inserted a finger into him, then another, then another until his groans were involuntary. "It's like birthday sex," Dan commented, slightly amused. "Except it's no one's birthday."  
Phil fidgeted yet again and said, "More, please, now. Something better."  
Dan pinched his skin and he whined in response to the twinge of pain. "You know who's in charge here, don't you? If you want cock, you're gonna have to wait." Phil felt like some kind of whore when he told him this, but he certainly wasn't complaining.  
"You got protection?" Phil suddenly asked. Dan nodded and replied, "I got it when I went to get your suit from my room. I could, um, kinda tell that there was something you wanted. Your cheeks usually turn pink and your eyes sparkle. It's cute."  
He sat Phil upright before reaching around with his other hand, gripping his length and pressing his thumb against his sensitive tip before rubbing along his shaft, pumping faster until he finally gave in to his desire and pleaded, "Now. Please."  
Dan laughed. "Well, being as you've been saying please, I suppose teasing would be a little cruel, don't you think?" Phil nodded eagerly. "In all fairness, you deserve this considering how much work you've been putting into this family."

 

Phil squinted at the bottom of the Christmas tree, eyeing the mess that was inevitable after a day of fun - tinsel bits, shreds of wrapping paper, glitter and food crumbs. He wasn't all there. Every now and then he closed his eyes for another five minutes, never wanting his paradise to come to an end.  
"You're a little looser than before," Dan panted as he slammed into him again, bottoming out, their warm skin brushing together.  
"Mmm," Phil mumbled. "Oh, Dan. _Dan_."  
The younger man just smiled as he pleasured him. "What is it?"  
"Don't stop."  
Dan hated to be told what to do, especially in these kinds of situations. Dan just wanted to dominate, to show his beautiful boy who's boss - but if Phil didn't want him to stop, he certainly couldn't argue with that.  
Dan increased the firmness of his grip on his partner's skin, going faster, harder. _Better_. Phil wailed with every thrust, Dan hitting his prostate each time, hitting that spot, doing it right. Phil wondered how he'd gotten so lucky, to be here with this handsome young man, to have him inside his body, sighing and moaning. Dan Howell was just too fucking hot and Phil couldn't get enough.  
"Bear," Phil choked as he orgasmed, his cock leaking onto the soft fabric in front of him, warm, white and viscous. Dan thrusted another couple of times before he, too, came inside him, the two of them wishing there wasn't a condom shielding it from dripping down inside him.  
"Fuck," Phil sobbed, grabbing Dan and cuddling him, his soft hair tickling his partner's bare chest.  
Dan smiled and petted him fondly before suddenly saying, "You should stop swearing."  
Phil looked at him with surprise. "I-I don't swear. Not much. And besides, you swear all the time."  
"So do you! Remember when you hardly swore at all?"  
"Not really. I picked up my potty mouth from you. Do we have to discuss this now? I just want you to hold me until we fall asleep."  
Dan finally gave in, his eyelids growing heavier and heavier. "Oh, alright. Whatever." He lowered his head and snuggled into Phil, nuzzling the top of his head and his neck, stroking his body. He knew Phil was tired after climaxing but he reached over and began to touch him anyway, stroking his ass before fingering him again.  
He didn't moan. It seemed to relax him, and Dan watched his pretty face as he smiled and sighed, resting against him.  
It was a cold Christmas night, and the two husbands-to-be fell asleep.

 

The fireworks were a nightmare. There was a rule regarding which times you were and weren't allowed to set them off - as not to disturb people who were trying to sleep - but the boneheads setting them off obviously didn't give a toss about that.  
It wasn't actually New Year's Eve. It was the 30th, which made matters worse, because they knew that tomorrow would be ten times worse.  
"Daisy's not afraid," Phil said confidently. "I was assuming she would be. I always thought Charlotte was the bold one."  
"They're both brave," said Dan as he hugged his dark-haired daughter. "Charlotte just hates the loud noise." He looked at her and said, "Don't you worry, kid. They'll probably stop soon, and then you can finally get some sleep."  
Phil looked puzzled. "I'm so confused. I always thought Daisy was just like me. Bubbly and cheerful... don't you think she's changed?"  
"She has," Dan admitted. "But that's not a bad thing. Their brains are changing all the time. She's still a happy girl." Then he said, "You could say the same about Charlotte. She used to be a real fusspot! Remember that? She's good as gold now, and absolutely delightful. Not that she wasn't before, but she's a lot more smiley now."  
A wide grin appeared on Charlotte's face as he said this. "Dada," she said.  
Dan looked at her expression. "She seems to know what she's saying," he pointed out before another firework went off outside, startling his daughter. "She knows I'm her dad. _She knows_. Oh, man, I can't deal with another emotional outburst."  
Phil giggled. "Don't be ashamed. You're like this because we're a real family now. You've got a severe case of _"the feels_ ", which is what happens when you form attachments with people. You feel things. Mostly love."  
"Love?" Charlotte spoke, her tone implying an interrogative.  
"Yes, love," Dan repeated, hugging her. "Plenty of it, for you, Daisy and Phil. Plenty of love to go round for everyone."


	31. Domestic Bothers

The weather grew colder and colder, and peaked at a freezing -12°C in early January. There hadn't been much snow at all this winter - just solid ice that formed overnight and turned to cold wet slush the next day.  
Dan and Phil's apartment was freezing. A significant number of the heaters had broken and some of the water pipes had burst, so currently, living wasn't easy - for both them and their neighbours, who were having the same problems. The bath had to be filled up using hot water from the kettle, which took absolutely ages, and if you took too long, it'd go cold before you even got in.  
"When are they coming?" Dan asked, shivering, keeping Daisy warm inside his thick black hoodie next to him. "The guys who are gonna fix this, I mean. And how much is it gonna cost?"  
"I don't know yet. But they're coming on Wednesday," Phil answered, Charlotte on his lap, also keeping warm. The reason the pipes had burst was because they'd frozen as a result of the cold, and then Dan had stupidly tried to melt the ice by pouring hot water down the drain... which caused them to crack and burst.  
"A little closer?" Phil asked, inviting Dan to scoot over, who was in what he dubbed the "browsing position" - the laptop was on, the eyes were focused on the screen, and the fingers were typing. These were just a few common signs that spelled out **DO NOT DISTURB** , but Dan scooted closer anyway because he was cold.  
"Sweet warmth," Dan sighed, resting his limbs on Phil's thighs. Neither of them had any elbow room, but they had no choice but to share eachother's heat. Dan gently lifted Daisy up onto Phil's lap so she was sat next to her sister, sharing the warm garment. They both looked so happy and cosy, their little faces poking out, their noses slightly pink from the low temperature.  
"We need to put the girls first," Phil said. "No matter what." And that's exactly what they did.  
"Smaller bodies lose heat faster," Dan said. "If there's anyone I want to stay warm, it's those two. Geez, I need my duvet. I'm covered in goosebumps and I feel awful."  
Phil picked up his phone and tapped on the weather app. "It's -10° out there," he said. "A little more bearable than yesterday, I guess. I wonder how cold it is in here."  
"Fucking freezing."  
Phil raised his eyebrows. "Dan! No swearing. You told me off for swearing, and you just did it infront of those two! Hypocrite."  
"Shit. I mean, sorry," Dan spluttered, the expression on Phil's face becoming fiercer. "If they pick that kind of language up," Phil said, "you're the one to blame. And they _will_ pick it up if you carry on, just like with all our other words. They don't know it's bad."  
Dan didn't reply, just felt for his lover's hand and squeezed it, the equivalent of an apology. "Cold," Phil said softly as Dan traced his fingers over his icy skin.  
Phil reached over and took hold of Daisy's hand, then Charlotte's. "Their hands are warm," he said, glad. "As long as these two are safe, everything will be okay."

 

 _A little physical activity will do me good._  
Dan felt terrible, and had been feeling that way for a couple of days now, ever since the heating broke. He was sure he was coming down with something.  
"I'm not trying to tell you what to do," Phil replied, after Dan complained, saying he just wanted to lie in bed all day and take medicine. "It's just, this place is a mess, and I've already done my bit. You don't want those two breathing in all that dust, do you?"  
Dan shook his head and sighed. "Oh, whatever. I'll get to work."  
Phil snuggled back down into his blanket fort on the sofa and smiled. "Domestic bliss, Dan. Domestic bliss."  
"Yeah, for _you_. I'm freezing my ass off. I also feel sick." Just then, Charlotte wandered over in her fluffy nightgown and began to tug on his sleeve. "Hey, what's up, Lottie?"  
She took hold of the cloth in his hand. "Clean?" she asked.  
Dan nodded. "That's right. I'm cleaning the windows and shelves. Do you... want to help, maybe?"  
She smiled.  
Dan took hold of her hand. "That's my girl. I'll fetch you a cloth, and we can do some housework together."  
"Yay!" she exclaimed.  
He had a throbbing headache, and walking made him dizzy, but he knew she wanted to have something to do. He pressed his hand against his forehead and the back of his neck. _Jesus... I'm hot enough to fry an egg._  
"You look flushed," Phil called. "I'm sorry for not helping out. It's just, I'm not feeling 100% myself."  
"Don't worry about it. I'll be fine."

 

He pulled the stool out from under the sink before placing it beneath the window. He lifted her up onto it, and held her waist just in case she lost her balance.  
"I'll spray," Dan said, holding the bottle of window cleaner. "You can scrub with the cloth. I can't believe how grown up you are already! Are you sure you're okay with this?"  
"Mm!" Charlotte responded, nodding vigorously. He knew she wanted to help. He just didn't want to push her too much at this age.  
He sprayed the liquid onto the window, and she rubbed it with her cloth. Her hands were clumsy and she often dropped it, and although it took her a while, she didn't do a bad job at all. "Well done!" Dan praised. She grinned, enjoying herself.  
He still felt ill, and knew it was something to do with the weather and the lack of heating, but he could cope. He was just praying that it wasn't contagious, whatever he had. He didn't want his children to be ill.  
"You can help me wipe down these shelves next," Dan said, taking hold of her hand. "This is quite easy."  
The two of them knelt down in front of the bookcase and began to wipe the dust off the bottom shelves. Dan was kind of amazed at how young children seemed to enjoy tasks that most adults found repetitive and boring, like cleaning. She had actually _offered_ to help. If he had the choice, he certainly wouldn't be doing it, because he felt like crap and just wanted to rest.  
"I'm sorry for pushing you like this," Phil called. "I don't feel too good myself. But I've already done my part, and it's your turn now."  
"Whatever you say," Dan sighed. Charlotte looked at him curiously, and seemed to know that he wasn't feeling great. "I'll be fine, don't you worry," Dan chuckled, petting her. He knew that she cared.

 

The whole situation seemed to rapidly improve after that. The heating was back on, the pipes had been fixed, and Phil was feeling much better... although Dan, not so much.  
"I was so surprised about what she did the other day!" Phil exclaimed. "And Daisy! She helped me sort out the washing. Why do they want to help so much?"  
"Because it's something new," Dan said. "I'm just surprised about what they can do. They're 15 months old - not long been walking and talking - and yet they want to help us run this household!"  
"Charlotte more than Daisy," Phil noted. "Which has surprised me, honestly. Like you said the other day, I don't get how they enjoy it. I hate washing clothes and cleaning the house. I suppose they love to learn."  
"We're so proud of you two," Dan praised, hugging them both. It was a relief now that they didn't have to walk around with thick clothes draping behind them so they didn't get cold. They were back in their usual attire of cute T-shirts and jumpers that had been bought for them at Christmas.  
"Sudden thought here," Phil began, "but do you think we should introduce them to our followers? Like, properly."  
Dan shook his head. "Not a good idea. Best to wait until they're older and we know they're okay with it. I'd hate for them to grow up wishing we'd respected their privacy as toddlers."  
"Agreed," Phil replied. "But they already know we have kids, right? How bad could it be? We could just tell them their names."  
Dan still shook his head.  
"How bad could it _actually be_?"  
"Nope," Dan said, not budging.  
Phil scowled. "Killjoy. They wouldn't come to harm!"  
"Maybe not, but they'd be exposed to millions of people, and they have no way of telling us whether or not they actually want that. Respect your own kids, you fool."  
Phil blushed. "I'm sorry. I know, you're right. It's just... the amount of messages we've had, especially on YouNow. They always ask me to bring Charlotte or Daisy and I hate saying no to the people who made us famous in the first place."  
"You have to."  
Phil actually looked slightly offended. "You don't need to be so goddamn uptight, honestly."  
Dan glared at him. "You know why I'm so uptight. I won't name any names, but do you remember what happened with-"  
Phil's eyes widened. "Oh. Oh, man, I forgot about that. I'm sorry, Dan."  
"I never mention him now," Dan said. "Not on the Internet. You don't want the same happening to our daughters, do you? One day they'll probably have their own social media accounts. I don't want them being harassed and constantly asked about us just because they're "Dan and Phil's daughters". They'll probably get enough of that at school. Let them be kids, and don't expose them. They'll have enough of that in years to come."  
Thinking of what he'd just heard, Phil felt embarrassed for not thinking about the consequences of his actions. He knew what had happened to a member of Dan's family and he didn't want the same happening to their kids. Nobody ever spoke of "the incident" now.  
Dan suddenly leaned over to kiss him. "Sorry if I came across as rude. I'm just scared. You know why I'm scared."  
"I do," Phil answered, before taking hold of his daughters' hands. "We'll keep you both safe."


	32. Favourite Colours

Phil shook his head, sighing. "I thought you'd shown them?"  
"I haven't," Dan admitted. "But they're bound to like what we bought. Daisy loves light colours, right?"  
"She used to. She's changed."  
"Nonsense. Daisy's like you, and Charlotte's like me! Daisy will love her white dress. I'll go and fetch it."  
Phil casually glanced at the girls beside him after Dan got up. Daisy and Charlotte weren't really babies anymore. They were toddlers. _Kids_. And it was beautiful to see them developing into little people.  
"What do you think?" Dan cooed, showing Daisy the cute garment. "You're going to look stunning!"  
She looked at him, and then back at the dress, then back at him. "Umm," she burbled, craning her neck to see the other dress that Dan was holding.  
"This is for your sister," Dan gently told her.  
Daisy reached for the black one. She tugged at it, as Phil laughed. "She has changed!" he exclaimed. "She's developing into who she really is. She prefers dark colours now."  
Dan tutted, kind of disappointed, even though he knew he shouldn't have been. When the twins had first been born, he was almost certain who would take after whom; Charlotte seemed kind of fussy and grumpy, whereas Daisy was always laughing and smiling. Now that they were expressing their individuality and preferences, he was beginning to realise he'd been wrong after all.  
"What's with that look?" Phil asked.  
"I thought it was Charlotte who would be just like me."  
"Oh, Dan..." Phil took hold of his hand. "This is silly. You should be glad they're changing! Imagine what they'll be like when they're teenagers! Don't be so fussy."  
"Oh, well," Dan sighed. "I still think Charlotte's going to be a goth when she's older."  
Phil giggled. "Why would she be a _goth_?"  
"She's got that look."  
"You can't make those kinds of predictions at this stage! Just accept them, however they are. They are perfect. Humans aren't customisable. They're your daughters."  
"I know they're my daughters, genius." He sat closer to Daisy and said, "Sweetheart, if you really want the black dress, that's absolutely fine. Looks like Charlotte's taken a shine to the white one, so no disagreements here." He hugged her and she giggled gleefully. "You're perfect just the way you are. Dark and spooky, like Daddy."  
"Daddy," Daisy repeated.  
"That's right." He pointed to Phil. "And that's Papa. Our names are different so nobody gets confused."  
"Daddy. Papa. Dada," Charlotte vocalised.  
Phil looked surprised. "I read somewhere," he said, "that they're only supposed to know about five words at this age."  
"Only five? These pair are absolutely smashing it!" Dan grinned. "They are so smart! They must have gotten their brains from you, Phil. You're smart."

 

Towards the end of January they were almost certain of who would be attending the wedding and who wouldn't.  
"You can't blame the people who live thousands of miles away," Phil said.  
"True," Dan agreed. "It's just frustrating. There's so many nice people we know from America and places like that. It totally sucks."  
"I wonder what my uncle would have said if we'd given him an invite."  
Dan sniggered. "Oh, boy! The homophobic one? You should send one just for kicks. It's not too late."  
"He'd hate us even more," Phil said. "Not that I care. We're further in life than he'll ever be. Being gay hasn't stopped us from being successful." He kissed Dan on the cheek and said, "I couldn't live without you. This is gonna sound crazy but I'm so glad you're gay like me. I feel lucky that we met."  
Dan smiled. "I can say the same about you." He lifted his hand up, the diamond ring gleaming in the light. "Tell you what. You have your uncle on Facebook, right? Send him a picture of our engagement rings as well as a photo of one of the wedding invitations. See how he reacts."  
"I was going to unfriend him, but good idea. I'll do it."  
"Good boy," Dan praised, snuggling against Phil's neck. _He smells so good, and I can't get enough._  
"By the way, you got the catering covered? We're gonna need a lot of food. There's so many guests," Phil said.  
"I did that last week, silly. Keep up, Phil." Dan sighed happily, wanting to fall asleep. "And by the way, you smell great."  
Phil blushed slightly. "Uh, thank you. Um, so back to the wedding details-"  
"I just want cuddles," Dan sulked. "No more boring details. Stop talking. I love to hear you breathing."  
Phil looked surprised, and Dan instantly regretted what he'd said. "I'm sorry. That was kind of creepy. I'm surprised you even want to marry me."  
"No, not at all," Phil replied, feeling awkward. "Hearing you say that was actually pretty hot."  
Feeling more confident, Dan went further and said, "I love how you breathe so heavily when I touch you. It's wonderful to hear."  
Phil was so sleepy, and he knew Dan was a little tired too, but he felt his crotch tightening at his partner's seductive words. "Y-you're turning me on," he stammered, not sure what to do.  
"Surely you have a little energy left in you? I could do with a work out."  
Phil felt his heart skip a beat.  
"You'll have to be the one doing all the work. I'm exhausted. I'm not moving an inch."

 

He wasn't sure if he'd be stuck with these stretch marks forever. All he knew was that he absolutely hated having them on his body. Dan didn't even seem to notice them.  
"Oh, man," Phil panted. "Yeah, I'm definitely ready to marry you. I'd marry anyone who can give blowjobs of that standard."  
" _Anyone_?" Dan asked, looking suspicious.  
"I'm kidding. I'm just saying, that was amazing. I hope I'm just as good when I give them."  
"You have no idea," Dan said. "You drive me crazy."  
Phil stayed where he was, insisting that he was just too tired to move, even though it wasn't even that late. "Oh, alright," Dan groaned. "If you really must sleep, I guess I can't stop you. I'll go read to them tonight."  
Charlotte and Daisy struggled to settle down without being read to. They found their dads' voices so soothing, and even though they were too young to understand the stories yet, they still loved to hear them.  
Dan sat down beside their cots and showed them the book. "I went to the library today," he spoke. "I borrowed some new books." Charlotte reached right through the bars of her cot and grabbed the book out of his hands. "Whoa!" Dan exclaimed, surprised by how quick she was. He gently took it off her and she pouted. "You can have a closer look in the morning," he reassured her. She still kept eyeing the cover.  
"Is it the colour?" Dan asked. The book was pale pink, and Charlotte seemed to like it very much. "Is that your favourite colour?" She gave him a goofy grin.  
"Nice, isn't it?" Dan agreed. "I prefer black, though. I'm more of a spooky guy."  
Daisy seemed to prefer black, though. Whenever they went out shopping, she always pressed her hands against the window when her parents were looking at black clothes, intrigued by dark colours.  
_I knew I was wrong after all, but it's not a big deal._ He was just surprised, because Daisy looked like the bright, happy-go-lucky kind, and that was how she'd seemed when she was much younger. Now the opposite was true.  
He read to them softly, like he always did, glancing over to them every now and then to check they were settling down well. And when both girls were fast asleep, he switched off the lamp, and quietly crept out, closing the door as gently as possible.  
Their cots were quite large, so they weren't too tall for them yet, but they'd need to transition to "big-girl" beds in a couple of months. Dan was praying it would go well and that they'd quickly get used to them, although he could certainly understand if it took them a while.  
He wandered into Phil's room just to see if he was asleep, checking whether or not he needed to be quiet. His shadow made Phil jump and hye gasped. "Hey!" he groaned. "You nearly scared me to death."  
"Sorry," Dan apologised, switching the light on and perching on the side of his bed. Phil looked confused. "There's not enough room for you in here," he insisted.  
"Wanna bet?" Dan smirked, stripping down to his underwear and climbing in next to Phil, who gave a noise of agitation.  
"You are way too close! I can't bloody breathe."  
"Oh, quit your whining, Phil." _We're so domestic_ , he thought, slightly amused, as Dan rambled on while he tried to fall asleep. _Talk about ready for marriage._

 

Dan was almost hyperactive, and Phil was extremely drowsy, his eyelids too heavy to stay open. "Wanna hear a joke?" Dan asked.  
"No!" Phil cried, extremely pissed off at this point. "Just let me get some sleep! You're too close for comfort and you won't freaking shut up. You're gonna wake the girls up."  
Dan giggled and carried on, enjoying his power to annoy his husband-to-be. _I bet he was a nightmare at sleepovers when he was a kid,_ Phil thought, wanting to kick him out and send him to his own room.  
"Ah, I've thought of one!" Dan suddenly spoke. "Do you like dad jokes?"  
Phil had had enough. "Go to sleep, or leave!" he hollered. "No jokes. No talking, no breathing down my neck, nothing. Go to sleep."  
The two of them heard a whine from the room nextdoor. "Oh, boy," Phil growled, tired and angry. "This is all your fault! You've woken one of them up. Go to your own room now."  
Dan sulkily got out of bed as Phil ambled into his daughters' room. Daisy looked frightened, wondering where the noise had come from. "It's okay, love," Phil whispered, cuddling her. "Daddy," she whimpered, and Phil held her tightly, doing his best not to wake Charlotte.  
He was tired, and he would rather not be doing this. He was aware that he'd rather not be doing this. But he wasn't going to complain or get annoyed, because he was knew this was his job now. He'd chosen to have children, committing his life to being a good parent and doing his best to juggle his YouTube career with his familial responsibilities.  
When she fell back asleep, he stumbled out of their room and into his own. His bed was still warm, and he pressed his face against where Dan had been lying next to him, breathing in his pleasant scent. It was at this moment that he began to feel kind of bad for getting ticked off with him.  
In all fairness, though, he _was_ being super annoying.  
He could never tell if he was the source of the problem whenever someone got angry, which made apologies difficult. But when he snuggled down into the soft sheets and squeezed the pillow that Dan had rested his head upon, he realised that it was these little spots of angst that made their relationship so perfect. Every slip-up ended in smiles and giggles, and he knew that it would be the same after their marriage - domestic. _So_ domestic.


	33. Attachment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte has made a friend.

Now that Dan and Phil's children were 16 months old, their curious minds were at a constant battle between risk and challenge.  
Both could climb now, but Charlotte seemed keener on climbing than Daisy, and insisted on trying to get up onto chairs and tables by herself. This wouldn't be such a bad thing if her sense of danger and rationality was in line with her agility.  
This wasn't just applicable to indoors. Whenever they went to the park, or anywhere for that matter, all Charlotte ever wanted to do was explore. Now that both sisters were quite capable of wandering around by themselves, their curiosity often got the better of them, and keeping them safe was more challenging than ever.  
"What are we going to do with you?" Phil had said, sighing. "Oh, my. You'll be climbing trees before we know it!"  
The toddler gates were pretty much useless now, although Phil still kept them in place, much to Dan's annoyance.  
"We've gotta get rid of those toddler gates that you've planted all over the apartment," Dan had insisted. "C'mon, how bad could it be? There's no point in having them now."  
Having toddlers was a lot of fun, though. It was enjoyable having them around, to have them able to express themselves and share opinions on what they liked and didn't like, even though speaking in proper sentences was a milestone that was yet to be reached. Clothes shopping was more fun now, for one. The girls themselves knew what colours they liked and didn't like, and it was wonderful to witness them expressing it.  
Atleast, clothes shopping was usually fun. Unfortunately, today was not one of those days.  
"Daisy's a confident walker," Dan pointed out. "So don't let go of her hand like you did just now."  
"I know, I know," Phil groaned. "You can't really blame me."  
"Who else is to blame? Don't let go of her!"  
They had walked past a rack of black faux-fur coats, and Daisy had decided she loved the softness so much that she wanted to stay there. So when she found the slightest chance, she slipped right inside the clothing rack, enveloped by the thick coats, feeling cosy.  
She herself was happy, and felt safe under the warm garments, but Dan and Phil weren't so happy when they couldn't understand where she'd disappeared to and were panicking intensely.  
"Don't let it happen again, please," Dan said quietly. He had been so scared, but he couldn't deny that it was amusing when Daisy suddenly popped out her little ginger head, smiling contentedly.   
"I'm sorry. But look, she's ok, she's safe and sound! Aren't you, Daisy?"  
"Mmm!" she responded, in affirmation.  
"I'm surprised it wasn't this one who nearly got lost," Dan said, gently patting Charlotte on the head. "She's the one who's usually trying to wrap herself up in mischief."

 

The two girls understood much, much more than they were letting on.  
Most of their communication was nonverbal - they usually used gestures, like pointing fingers, or facial expressions to show pleasure or distaste. But this was more than enough to prove that they nearly always knew what their dads were saying.  
"Where are the keys?" Dan muttered, not really speaking to anyone but himself. And as if by magic, Daisy wandered over and led him into the kitchen, pointing to the keys on the table. "You are such a clever little girl," Dan said proudly. "Well done, Daisy." She hugged him gleefully.  
"Phil?" Dan called, lifting Daisy up onto a chair with two cushions propped underneath so she could reach the table. "Can you prepare some food for Daisy? I've gotta go out and meet someone soon."  
"Sure," Phil called back. "I'm in a bit of a pickle at the moment, so can you wait there a sec? Won't be long."  
Dan tutted. "He's always so slow," he said to Daisy, who just stared at him.  
"Sorry about that," Phil apologised several minutes later, as Dan headed for the door. "Charlotte kicked a bottle of baby powder over when I was trying to change her nappy."  
Dan laughed. "Oh, boy. I can't wait until they're potty trained. Life is going to be so much easier."  
Charlotte stared at the chair, then at Daisy, and then at Phil. "You're hungry too, aren't you?" he realised. "I can tell. You've got that familiar look in your eyes."  
The two girls sat together at the table after Dan left, and Daisy soon began to whimper, banging the table with her fists. "This won't take long," Phil reassured them. "And I know you've been wanting to use a spoon, so it's time to try that out."  
He set out two small plastic spoons that he had bought as he was preparing their lunch. Feeding two kids at once was not an easy task, so he decided to keep Charlotte's warm, and feed Daisy first. _I wish Dan was here,_ Phil thought. It wasn't going to be easy trying to help them both at once, but seeing them learn was so beautiful, so how bad could it be?  
"Mmm," Daisy murmured, gazing at her dad when he placed the bowl in front of her, drooling slightly. Daisy absolutely loved pasta. Both she and Charlotte knew how to pick up the spoon, so he allowed Daisy to do that by herself, and watched carefully as she dug it into the star-shaped pasta pieces in her bowl.  
When she tried to lift it up, the pasta slid off the spoon, which was covered in sauce. "Here, I'll help," Phil offered, sitting down between them both. Again, he allowed her to dip the spoon in herself, but this time gently took hold of her wrists and helped her guide a spoonful of food up to her mouth. Her coordination wasn't too great and splodges of sauce and star-shaped pasta chunks kept landing on her top, but she was getting there. "Good girl!" Phil smiled, and she smiled back.

 

After what seemed like forever, she'd finally finished eating, after several attempts at aiding her early use of cutlery. There was more pasta on the table than in her stomach, but she seemed satisfied, and she'd tried her best. _It's still early days,_ Phil thought. _And that's okay._  
Charlotte gave a loud groan, clearly vexed and very hungry. "Don't worry, it's your turn now," Phil reassured her. "Oh, boy. I guess nobody said that having twins would be easy."  
Much to Phil's surprise, Charlotte was significantly better at using a spoon than Daisy, and needed less guidance. For the most part, Charlotte had developed a tiny bit slower than Daisy, so he wasn't expecting her to be more adequate with regards to eating.  
In fact, Charlotte _wanted_ to use a spoon. She'd grabbed it off the table as soon as Phil set it down, and already knew what it was for because she'd observed her parents using them while eating.  
"Well done, you," Phil said, hugging her, after she'd eaten. "That wasn't too difficult, was it?" He turned to Daisy. "Best get you cleaned up. Your hands and clothes are all sticky. Dan's not gonna be happy if he comes home and finds red hand prints all over the table."

 

Charlotte had been given a large, soft, plushie doll for Christmas, and now it seemed to be all she cared about.  
The doll's name was Sally, and she wore a light pink dress and shoes, with woolly brown hair and a big smile. Charlotte carried Sally with her wherever she went. This was nothing like Daisy's previous attachment to her soft dice toy. This was something else.  
"It's _normal_!" Phil told Dan, annoyed at having to explain himself over and over. "It's not as if she cares about the doll more than us."  
"It seems that way," Dan sulked.  
"Don't be so ridiculous. You saw what happened the other day, right? When we went to see my parents? She wouldn't let go of me!"  
"She wouldn't let go of Sally, either."  
"I'm confused as to why you think this is a problem," Phil said. "Do _not_ try taking it away from her. I tried to take it from her at dinnertime in case she got food on it, and it ended in a tantrum. This will pass, I swear."  
"Will she grow out of it?"  
"Of course she will!" Phil replied, exasperated. "You need to chill, bear. Every young child has a toy they love. Next month it might be a different toy, who knows. Everything is fine."  
Charlotte was sat on the rug, next to Dan, playing with her toys. She could be kind of rough with her toys occasionally, but she was extremely gentle with Sally, taking her with her wherever she went. Sometimes she even tried to feed her, which was amusing.  
"It's called attachment," Phil suddenly said.  
"I know what it's called. I studied it in college, when I used to do psychology."  
"She's attached to Sally because she's soft, looks happy, and wears her favourite colour. Have you seen what happens when Daisy tries to go near Sally? Oh, boy."  
"Does Charlotte get angry?" Dan asked, uneasily.  
"She does, but calming her down is a breeze. She's quite mellow. A sweet young girl."  
"Unlike before. She used to be _so_ moody," Dan sneered, and Phil glared at him, feeling as though his facial expression and tone was unnecessary.  
"The way you said that was horrible," Phil said sadly. "Quite mean, actually. God, no wonder she's obsessed with that doll! One of her parents doesn't even like her. Poor girl."  
Dan got up off the floor, and Charlotte turned her head, alarmed by the sudden movement and change in atmosphere. "I just meant that she used to be a real fusspot," Dan explained, annoyed. "That's all. I know she couldn't help it. All babies are."  
Phil scowled. "Just be a bit more tactful. I want our kids to grow up gentle and kind hearted. Atleast looking after that doll is teaching her compassion. Maybe you should get something to look after, too."  
Dan rolled his eyes. "I don't want to argue."  
Phil suddenly had an idea, a smirk dawning on his face. "Tell you what, Dan. I want you to look after my houseplants for a week. Show nature a bit of compassion. What do you say? It might teach you to be more... gentle."


	34. A Helping Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the infrequent uploads, guys. I've had to do a lot at college recently and I've also had a lot of sleeping problems, which hasn't helped. But thank you for reading!

"How about this week?" Phil suggested.  
"No!" Dan snapped, for the fourth time. "They're _your plants_ , Phil. I'm not doing anything. Now hurry up and get your shoes on."  
Still staring at Dan, Phil shoved his feet into his white Vans before they both headed down the steps and into the outdoors.  
Leaving the house as famous YouTubers was sometimes kind of daunting. There was the risk that a fan would happen to see them leaving the house, potentially exposing their address to their fanbase. Now that they had children, these ideas of exposure scared them even more, because the thought of the girls having their peace and privacy snatched away from them at such a young age was terrifying.  
"What are you waiting for?" Phil asked, and Dan suddenly looked startled upon hearing his partner holler at him.  
"Just thinking about these two," he said, patting his daughters on the shoulder. "You're alright though, aren't you?" He grinned at them, and they grinned back, and he began to wonder what it was like to be so young and naïve, so oblivious to the dog-eat-dog world that nested outside their window, outside of their safe place.  
"Come on!" Phil urged, grabbing his arm and tugging it. "The shop shuts at 3 and we have hardly any food in the house."  
"Right," Dan stammered, calming down and beginning to walk. He'd gotten far too deep inside his own head, worrying about situations that probably would never even happen.  
"Good god, Daniel. Now I don't really want to boss you about, but you were just standing there for no reason."  
"I know."  
"We have no toilet paper in the apartment and the shops shut at 3. If you think that's not an emergency, you've got another think coming."

 

"Hrmm," Daisy pondered out loud, as Phil browsed the shelves. She didn't let go of Dan's hand, but stealthily stepped around the corner of the aisle, examining some chocolate bars stacked onto a small stand.  
Phil glanced down at the list in his hand. "Just a couple more things we need to get and we'll be out of here."  
"Cereal," Dan reminded him. "And don't go stealing any of mine."  
Phil scoffed. "After what happened last time? I don't plan to."  
Daisy slowly picked up a chocolate bar in a dark purple wrapper, and snuck it into the left pocket of her little grey hoodie.  
"Come on, girls," Dan said, gently pulling them forwards. Being the smart girl she was, Daisy crossed her arms, concealing the shape of the chocolate bar underneath her clothing. She didn't actually know that this was "stealing", but she was so used to her parents going to the till after getting things off the shelves that her intuition told her that this wasn't what you're supposed to do.  
Dan picked up two boxes of cereal and placed them into the basket. "That will do," he said, as they headed over to pay. Daisy looked around her cautiously, and Charlotte peered over at her, her eyes wide as she clung onto Sally the doll.  
Daisy stared at the ground while they paid. "What's up?" Dan asked her. "You're looking a bit down."  
She didn't respond, and remained quiet well after they'd left the shop, her head bowed slightly. She glanced over when Charlotte tugged on Phil's sleeve and offered to help carry the shopping bags, but other than that, it was like she wasn't even there.  
And to her dads' surprise, as soon as they opened the apartment door, she scrambled inside and tried to run upstairs. Phil quickly caught up with her, anxious about her loosing her footing. "Whoa, careful!" he said to her, taking hold of her hand. "Easy does it. We don't want you getting hurt now, do we?"  
As they ambled up the many flights of stairs to their apartment, Daisy shyly pulled out the sweet snack she'd been hiding under her top. Phil watched her, confused. "Dan?" he asked. "Did you buy that for her?"  
"Buy what?" Dan asked, setting the heavy bags down onto the counter.  
"That bar of chocolate she's holding."  
Dan furrowed his eyebrows. "Not that I recall. You must have given it to her."  
"I didn't. I've been avoiding giving her junk food just yet."  
They gazed at eachother, puzzled, as their young daughter tried to open it.  
After a couple minutes of thought, Dan sighed and slapped his forehead. "Ah, no. I bet you she took it from the shop."  
"She can't have done!" Phil disagreed. "She was holding onto you at all times. You would have seen her take it."  
"I was watching what _you_ were doing," Dan admitted. "Crap. She's nicked it. I know she has." He looked at Daisy and said, "You bad girl!" She pouted, looking upset, and threw the chocolate bar onto the floor.  
"Don't," Phil urged. "She didn't know. She's a _toddler,_ bear! She saw yummy food and didn't realise that you can't just take it. You're acting as if she's some kind of criminal."  
Charlotte looked confused. She looked at Daisy, then at Dan, then back at Daisy.  
Dan squatted down beside his ginger-haired daughter. "Don't worry about it, sweetheart," he said softly, contrary to the harsh tone he used approximately a minute ago. "You didn't know. And besides, it's only a chocolate bar. It's not like it was a diamond or something valuable."

 

They'd been in this world for only 17 months, but even they themselves knew that adults sometimes underestimated them.  
It wasn't like Daisy had _known_ what stealing was, and neither had Charlotte. They'd had no idea it was actually _wrong._ But Daisy had known that Dan and Phil always took things from the shelves to the counter before they left. She had seen the chocolate, suddenly remembered how delicious chocolate was, and decided to take it, despite realising that it wasn't what most people did. It was actually quite amusing, and nothing to worry about as long as they made sure it never happened again.  
Daisy was a smart young girl. At this moment in time, her parents had no idea how smart she was, oblivious to the fact that she and Charlotte would grow up to be geniuses with IQs of nearly _170._  
They just weren't aware of it yet. But their huge success as adults would speak for itself.  
Dan flicked through the pages of the copy of TABINOF that they always kept in the lounge. He stopped at his fact file near the start of the book.  
His favourite quote read: _"I promise I'll do it just after I've finished this thing",_ and he laughed loud enough for Phil to hear.  
"What's so funny?" Phil called, trying to get a very tired Charlotte to fall asleep.  
"I'm not looking after your goddamn houseplants," Dan responded. "I'm the king of procrastination. It even says it here in the book. I'm not doing it."  
Phil ignored him, and Dan waited for a reply, feeling a little bit argumentative.  
"What do you want?" Phil finally asked, exasperated, as he walked into the lounge.  
"You told me to look after your houseplants for a week, and I'm still not gonna do it. Not this week."  
"Yes, you are!" Phil insisted, his dominant side briefly showing. "We made a deal. If you're that annoyed about having to do just a tiny bit of work for a week, get the girls to help. It'll be more fun, for you and them."  
Dan grumbled, "Fine." and slouched into the sofa, sulking like a child.  
"How bad could it be? This is honestly ridiculous, bear," Phil told him crossly. "We've been living together for years and you haven't watered one of my houseplants once! I treasure them nearly as much as I treasure Charlotte and Daisy. And like I said, the deal here is that I'm trying to get you to be a bit nicer."  
"I _am_ nice," Dan growled.  
"You're not always nice about the girls. You can be cruel and you know it. You can start by looking after some plants. Maybe then you'll be ready to look after kids."  
Dan looked at him sadly. "That was harsh, Phil. You've told me before that I'm doing great as a father."  
"Well, you are," Phil began, "but I want you to be a little more tactful. Be soft. Be nice."  
Dan gazed at his face. "Alright. Me and the girls will do it together. I guess it'll help us bond."

 

Daisy looked up at Dan, and Dan looked down at her, their eyes meeting for a couple of seconds. _She's so adorable,_ Dan thought, feeling awful for sometimes treating them as if they were a pain in the ass.  
"Come on," he said, taking hold of her arm and taking her into the corridor. "According to Papa, we've got some work to do." Upon hearing this, Phil glanced over to them, smirking.  
Daisy was reluctant. She looked irritable, and Dan began to feel kind of guilty, not wanting to force her to do anything she disliked at this age. "You don't need to go near the spiky ones," Dan reassured her. "I'll do the cacti. I don't want you hurting yourself."  
She smiled, showing she agreed.  
"The spiky ones only need watering once a week anyway, so that's not really a problem."  
He handed her a small watering can. So small, in fact, that it was better suited for her hand than his. "Not too heavy?" he said quietly, checking she was okay. "I'll give you a hand if you need it. Let's start with these."  
Phil got up and poked his head around the door to see Dan gently tilting her arm forward, teaching how much water was the correct amount. _Bless_ , he thought. _I bet Charlotte will want to join in next._  
This thought was a coincidence, because it was at that point that Charlotte stopped watching Phil on his laptop and got down onto the floor, almost falling over on the way down. She wandered over to the doorway to see Daisy and Dan watering the plants, Dan helping her every move in case she slipped and accidentally poured too much, drowning the plants.  
"Daddy!" Charlotte called.  
Dan and his daughter turned around. "What is it, Lottie?" She wandered over, eyeing the plant pots curiously.  
"Would you like to help?" Dan offered. "Papa has a lot of plants, so this is going to take ages, anyway."  
Charlotte pointed to them eagerly.  
"I'll take that as a yes!" Dan giggled, handing her his watering can. "You can take turns, and we'll get the job done together. I hate doing any kind of work, so having you two here makes it more fun."  
Hearing this, Phil called, "You're bloody lazy."  
"Don't listen to him," Dan sniggered. "It's his fault for turning our apartment into a jungle with so many freaking plants."


	35. Daisy's New Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I'll be able to complete this fic. I feel like I've spent too long on it, and I just don't feel as passionate about it as I did before. I hate leaving works incomplete, but my writing in this particular work just isn't flowing too greatly and I'm not enjoying it in the same way that I used to. Writing it feels like a chore rather than something I do for recreational purposes. I would rather leave it how it is than to carry on and produce poor work.
> 
> My apologies to those who have been following this work for a while and enjoying its content, but I don't think I can write this one anymore. I feel burnt out. Thank you for reading, everyone.

They always noticed when something wasn't right.  
"Oh, no," Dan said. "Is Sally's eye missing?"  
Charlotte just stared at the ground sulkily. "Daddy will find it," he reassured her, putting his arm around her. "She'll soon be back to normal, Lottie."  
"Mmm," Charlotte responded. She paused and then added, "Love Sally."  
Dan looked surprised. "Wait, what?" he said, puzzled.  
"Sally. Love."  
"What do you mean?"  
Phil gave a laugh. "Oh, Dan, don't be silly. She's just put two words together. She's saying how much she loves Sally. They haven't yet grasped pronouns, remember?"  
"I know," Dan replied as Charlotte tightly hugged the beautiful doll. She was starting to cry. Gosh, she really loves that thing, bless her. We'll fix her, sweetie," Dan said, hugging her tightly.  
Charlotte sniffed, but then smiled appreciatively at her dad.  
Daisy was stood in the doorway, watching to see what was going on. She stared at the pink doll in admiration, wishing it was hers. They'd never fought over it, but sometimes Daisy took it out of Charlotte's bed and placed it into her own, then slept with it for the entire night, leaving Charlotte pining away for it until Dan or Phil inevitably came in to see what the matter was and returned it to its rightful owner.  
Phil turned his head to see Daisy still staring at the doll, this time with a slight scowl on her face.  
"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, wandering over while Dan and his other daughter did their best to look for the small black bead that had fallen off of Sally.  
Daisy pointed to the doll and then to Charlotte before staring at the ground sadly.  
"Do you... want one too?" Phil guessed. "I mean, you're always trying to take it away from her, and we can't have that."  
"Want," Daisy asserted.  
"You need to say it more politely than that, Daisy!"  
"Please?" Daisy asked, softly.  
"Of course," Phil said, gently patting her on the head while she smiled. "That's no problem. As long as you don't accidentally steal it like you did with that chocolate!"  
He picked her up and she giggled, feeling safe and loved in her papa's arms.  
"Well done for saying please," Phil whispered, and she grinned proudly, overjoyed whenever she made her parents proud.

 

At 19 months, the girls were starting to string verbs and nouns together, along with a few adjectives. They had already learned the names of a few colours, which had led Charlotte to consistently refer to her doll as "pink Sally". It was rather amusing.  
"So this is the life you were dreaming of, huh?" Dan suddenly asked sarcastically, trying to dry Daisy's hair while she wailed incessantly.  
"This is just a phase, I swear," Phil stammered. "I promise she'll get used to it. She doesn't like having the water near her head."  
"I'm absolutely soaked!" Dan fumed. "I can't do this, Phil, I can't. She won't even let me wash her hair."  
"Be more understanding!" Phil insisted. "She's not like this because she's trying to be "naughty". She doesn't want the water in her ears. Just like everything else that comes with parenting, _it's not that bad._ Nothing is ever as bad as you think it could be."  
Dan rolled his eyes as Daisy slowly calmed down, realising that it was over and that there'd be no more water getting in her ears. Because her hair was so wispy and curly, it sometimes went absolutely huge after being washed and dried as a result of the static, which was always so funny to see.  
"Believe it or not, yes. This is the life I've been dreaming of," Phil said, eventually answering Dan's initial question.  
"I know," Dan said sheepishly. "I'm sorry for being such a pessimist all the time. It's just the way I am. It's my branding. It's the Howell way of life."  
"Not good when you've got two young girls to be taking care of," Phil reminded him. "That part of you is all fine and good online, but I don't want it rubbing off on those two."  
Dan gave a dismissive laugh.  
"Ever since I was a kid, I've been dreaming of this," Phil said gratefully. "I knew I was gay from a young age, Dan, and I never thought I'd ever find anyone who was perfect for me. I didn't think I'd ever have children. I'm living the life I've always wanted to lead - one with you in it - and here you are, always complaining."  
Dan looked down at his knees. Daisy turned to look at him, the fluffy cotton towel still on her head, catching the drips from her hair.  
"I'm sorry, princess," he apologised. "I know I need to be more compassionate, I know. Papa even made me water his plants to try and make me care more about living things. I need to stop overlooking you guys' feelings. I feel like you can understand what I'm saying, and I never want to hurt you."  
He kissed the two of them on the tops of their heads and they smiled.  
"Love Sally," Charlotte said, hugging her doll, glad that her formerly missing eye was back in place.  
But Daisy did one better and said, "Love Daddy."

 

 _The life my husband-to-be has always dreamed of. Did that always include kids?_  
Either way, Dan knew they had both made the right decision, even if he himself could be kind of an asshole at times.  
"Which one?" Daisy's grandmother - Dan's mother - cooed, as they browsed the soft toy section. She lifted the young girl up to give her a better view, and she soon made her mind up, eagerly pointing to a fabric doll wearing a grey velvety dress. It had woolly brown hair just like Sally, but was slightly smaller, with bigger, more detailed eyes.  
"She's gorgeous," her grandmother said proudly. "What will you name her, Daisy?"  
Dan smiled, thinking of how wonderful it was to see his own flesh and blood getting on so well in the world.  
He wandered over holding Charlotte's hand, bringing her over to her sister and grandmother. Charlotte was holding her own doll, and began to gaze at the one Daisy was holding with an inquisitive look on her face.  
"I think you should name her Millie," Dan suggested.  
"Mih-lee," Daisy spoke, loudly.  
"Yes, Millie," Dan smiled. "Millie and Sally. They'll be best friends, just like you and Charlotte!"  
Daisy giggled and, still holding the doll she wanted, reached out towards Charlotte and gave her a big hug. "Aww," their grandmother gushed, smiling as she admired them, proud to have two beautiful girls as members of the family. "They look so adorable. I hope they get on well like this all of the time."  
"They do get on fairly well, actually," Dan told her, as they wandered over to the counter to pay for Daisy's doll. "We're buying this for Daisy though because she's been envious of her sister's doll for a while, and keeps trying to take it off her, which of course is a problem because Charlotte's very attached to it."  
"I see," Dan's mother said, while he reached into his pocket and took out some money. "Don't you think having two twin girls is fun?"  
"Having any kind of kids is fun," Dan said. "Well, usually. They liven up the household. Atleast, they do when they're happy." He paused before adding, "I've got this bad habit of complaining about them and Phil keeps telling me to stop. So I'm going to do my best to be positive."  
"That's my boy," Dan's mother replied as they wandered out of the shop. Dan cringed.  
"I'm not far off thirty years old, mum. I'm not a boy anymore."  
She just laughed. "You'll always be my boy! Just like your daughters will always be your girls. Even when they're grown women, you'll still always see them as your little babies who you will always love and cherish."


End file.
